Learning to Live Again
by blueboarderchick
Summary: Edward left and Bella moved on with Jacob. But one day can change a lifetime. After leaving Forks for 6 months, she's back. Many questions need answering. Drama will ensue. And who will be by her side at the end? Can Bella have her happy ending finally?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** My newest story! YAY! I know those of you that read my other stories are thinking that I'm crazy right about now. And I would have to agree! I know that I already have three current stories going. But this story popped into my head last night and I started writing the general plot just so I could have it later and that turned into the prologue and then chapter 1. And let's just say that I went to bed really, really late because I just couldn't stop typing. The words and dialogue just kept coming. So, what I have decided to do is stop writing where I am, which is chapter 8. And I will post one chapter a week. That means that I have two months worth of material. That being said, I will go back to focusing on my current stories, but you all will get this one too, instead of it sitting in my saved folder for the next two months. Hopefully by the time I finish posting the chapters I have done, I will have one of my other stories completed, so that I can finish this one without any delay.

Moving forward, I hope you all like it. It is Bella centered as are all my stories. I'm not going to give you any background information or any clues. Also, I won't tell you the end pairing. You'll just have to read to figure it all out. This first chapter is only the prologue, so no real information will be given. This sets up things for Bella and where she is in her mind frame of things. ENJOY!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

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I stood in line at the baggage check-in trying not to think about and relieve the day that changed everything. The day that led me to where I was. One day forever changed my entire future. My life was not how I had planned it. Moving to Forks altered the life that I could have had if I had stayed in Phoenix. My heart may have still been in one piece instead of the many that it had been torn into over the almost two and half years that I lived in Forks. I couldn't regret my move there, or any of the choices I made while living there. They made me the person I was, presented me with experiences I could get no where else, and granted me the life I had yet to meet.

Marilyn Monroe was a rather unique individual. I may have had nothing in common with her, but I could identify with her on a few things. She once said, "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I forced myself to believe that things happened for a reason. If I didn't, then surely I would fall apart, and I couldn't do that any more. Over the last six months I had become stronger than that. I had to. He changed, and I had to let go. It was hard, harder than I ever thought possible. Things went horribly wrong, and I had only seen a glimpse of them when they were right, but I had hope. I had become independent on my self. People lie even when they don't mean to. People break promises, and let you down, even when they wish not to. Six months ago my life fell apart, and I was broken beyond what I thought was repairable. And I was hoping against all hope that better things could fall together. I didn't know what those things could be, but I needed them. I need to believe that everything I had gone through had happened for a reason. I had no other choice.

I was tired of running, of avoiding my past. Sometimes the past can be forgotten, mine could not. I had to face my past, my fears, and my worries head on. I wasn't looking forward to it, any of it. What I really wanted to do was escape into a whole and stay there, but I knew that was not possible. I had put this trip off for almost five months, and I could not do it any longer. I felt physically sick thinking of the reunion I would have to have with my past. There were so many eyes that I didn't want to meet. There were so many words that I didn't want to hear or to speak.

I handed over my bags, and forced myself to walk to the gate. When my row was called to board, I didn't want to move. And I didn't. Everyone had boarded the plane and I continued to look down at my ticket. Jacksonville to Denver, from there I would land in Seattle. And then in Port Angeles. The flight attendant approached me wearily and asked if I was going to board. I reluctantly got up and handed over the ticket. I took my seat, took a deep breath, and tried to block out the memories.

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**Author's Note:** I know it's not much to work off, but let me know what you're thinking. I will say that it is a pack centered story. Look for weekly updates on Mondays!! And FYI _My Perfect Match _readers... chapter 16 will be coming tonight or sometime Tuesday.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **So, I woke in a good mood and decided to give you all a peek at the story eariler than I said.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Even if I could consciously block out the memories of my past, they could still seep through into my dreams. I had fallen asleep only a few minutes after take off, thinking I could escape the reminiscence that my mind wanted. The dream started just moments before the event that changed my life forever. Right before the moment that my world came crashing down.

_I was sitting on our log at First Beach with Jacob. My Jacob. Everything in life seemed perfect at the moment. We had been together since I finally opened my eyes to see the incredible man that pulled me out of my darkness. Spring break of my senior year, over six months after Edward left me, Victoria struck hard. The pack took her out, along with her created help. It was a close call, but none of the pack was lost. After that day, I realized what Jacob had done for me, what he would do for. It was time to let Edward go and open my heart to Jacob. And I did whole heartedly. We spent the next four months in a happy bliss. Jacob became my everything. I loved him more than I thought I ever could after Edward. I gave him all I had._

_Sitting on the beach we were in a post-event bliss. Only the night before had we finally made love to one another for the first time. It was slightly awkward at first, seeing as we were both virgins, but it ended in pure ecstasy. I had never felt such a high before. I didn't sleep much that night, but it didn't matter now that I was back into his arms. Right where I believed that I belonged. We never discussed imprinting. It was always in the back of my mind and surfaced often in Leah's presence, but I never focused on it. Jacob always assured me that I never had any need for worry. That he would never love another and that he would never leave me. I believed him because he was so sure. Even Sam had commented that Jacob's love for me was almost comparable to imprint love. Our love was strong and I never doubted that it would be enough. I deserved happiness and I had finally found it. _

_We were wrapped in each other's arms in our own personal world. We were whispering sweet nothings to one another. Jacob never tired of telling me how beautiful I was or how much he loved me. And I never grew tired of hearing them; instead I lived for those little words. We were just sitting, staring into each other's eyes when a shadow fell upon us. We both ignored it, too entranced by the other._

"_Excuse me, could you help me?" I heard a voice say from behind Jacob. I looked up to see a girl, a teenager, probably around seventeen looking at me. She was undeniably beautiful, tall with long black hair, tanned skin, and a warm smile. She was obviously of Native American decent._

"_Yes." I answered, really just wanting to get back to Jacob, who had yet to take his eyes off of me._

"_I was told that there was a path that would lead to the general store near here and I can't seem to locate it. Could you point me in the right direction?"_

"_Um, yeah, just keep walking down the beach. It's about what, Jake, maybe a hundred yards down?" I asked looking back at Jacob. He blinked and shook his head a little, giving me a small smile._

"_Yeah, if you pass the 'Swim at your own risk' sign you've gone too far," he said. Then he turned around and pointed down the beach. "Do you see that fallen tree?"_

"_Yeah," the girl answered looking down the beach._

"_It's just passed it."_

"_Oh, okay, thanks," she said still looking down the beach. "I'm Katie, by the way," she continued to say turning around. "I just moved here," she added looking back at Jacob. I saw him stiffen from behind. He didn't respond, just stood perfectly still. The girl looked at him expectantly. After a moment he took a step back away from her._

"_Oh, God. No, no, no, no. This isn't happening." He started mumbling to himself, shaking his head vehemently. "I didn't - I- no." Katie was now staring at Jacob like he had problems, as was I. _What is wrong with him?_ I wondered. I stood up and walked around to see him. He turned to look at me with pained eyes. "Bella, I-" He didn't finish, but his breathing was becoming ragged._

"_Jacob, what's wrong?" I asked concerned closing the distance between us. I reached up to cup his face in my hand and he flinched away like I had burned him with my touch. "Jake, baby?" I said hurt._

"_I'm so sorry, Bella." I was confused. I didn't know what he had to be sorry for. He gave the girl directions. What was bad about that? As I was trying to figure it out, I noticed him giving the girl anxious looks, as if he was afraid she would disappear. That's when it hit. _He imprinted. _"I'm sorry. I didn't-" I cut him off._

"_Don't," I said emotionless._

"_Bells," he pleaded. I stared at the girl that just took my love away. My Jacob. My life. She looked uncomfortable with what was happening, like she was looking for a way to leave. I couldn't help but wish she had never been born. I wasn't sure how I could survive this again. I wouldn't have my best friend to put me together again. _

_I looked back at Jacob, who looked torn and anguished. I felt numb, I couldn't feel anything. I could see a single tear fall down his cheek. I closed the distance between us once again, and laid a kiss on his cheek taking away his tear. I leaned into his ear._

"_I love you always, good-bye, Jacob." And with that I left. I walked down the beach fighting off the emotions and feelings that were trying to escape. I just wanted to remain numb. I didn't want to feel the pain I knew would soon find and encompass me. As I approached the woods I took off sprinting, trying to outrun the pain._

I woke up gasping for air, burying my face in my hands. I started taking deep breaths in and out. I wouldn't allow myself to cry. Not over Jacob Black. Not again. He wasn't mine, and so I wouldn't waste anymore tears on him. I still loved Jacob, like I told him, I always would. I unfastened my seat belt and headed for the bathroom. I threw some cold water on my face and looked in the mirror. In six short months, I had changed significantly. I hardly recognized the woman in the mirror. Six months could show more change than I thought possible. I headed back for my seat and saw the fast seat belt sign come on. We were making the decent into Denver. I would try and hold my memories until I at least got on the next flight. I would occupy my time and thoughts during my layover with eating lunch.

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**Author's Note:** Okay, so now you have a little bit of a better idea of what is going on. Also, I am going to **try **and not make us all hate Jacob. After all you can't choose who you imprint on. So give him a chance and don't call him an a**hole yet. FYI: if you didn't notice the chapter was much shorter than my other stories. Most likely it will stay this way. As I wrote each chapter they all kind of left off at this same point of around 1,400 words. Next Update Monday. _Waiting in the Sunlight_ update will be tomorrow (11/18) morning.


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** So here is another early update! Last night I found out I was the only one to recieve a 100% on my Project Management paper, so that put me in a good and giving mood. I'm about half way done with the next chapter of Following Fate, so it should be up Thursday night or Friday morning. I know some of you are on the fence about where I am going, hopefully this chapter will start to show a little bit of what is planned. Keep faith in me and enjoy the story!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

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I sat down on my next flight. I didn't even try to battle the memories this time around. I settled in my sit comfortably, staring out the window, and let my mind take over where it last left off.

_I'm running through the forest tripping over stumps and rocks and anything else in my path. I always managed to catch or correct myself just in time, never actually falling. After some time, I found myself exhausted, both mentally and physically. I finally collapsed on the ground, letting my grief and pain take over. I was sobbing on the forest floor. I heard a branch break and didn't even look up. If it was a vampire there to end my life, I looked forward to it. No amount of physical pain it could put on me could compare to the emotional pain I was in. No that physical pain could take away the pain my heart felt. I welcomed the vampire. _

_But no pain came. Instead I heard a soft whine close to me. I looked up to see a chocolate wolf staring down at me with sad and concerned eyes. _Quil._ He let out another whine, lowering himself to the ground, pawing his way over to me. I threw myself at him, burying myself in his fur while continuing to sob. He let me cry into his fur for a few minutes nudging me with muzzle. I looked into his dark eyes and knew he wanted to know what was wrong._

"_He im- imprinted," I barely choked out. Understanding flooded Quil's eyes. He nudged me again, pulling himself away. He trotted off and I couldn't blame him. _Why would he care? Jacob is his best friend, he is probably going to congratulate him. I have no one outside of the pack, and now I don't even have them anymore._ I sobbed harder. I already lost one family and now I was losing another. I wondered how much pain and abandonment one person could take._

_I felt large, warm arms surround me. I looked up to see Quil. He pulled me into his lap and rubbed circles on my back. He pulled my head to his chest and laid his own head on top of mine._

"_It will be okay, Bella. You'll survive this. I know it must hurt. But you know he never wanted it to happen. He loves you."_

"_Loved," I croaked out. I could feel Quil shake his head._

"_If I know one thing about Jacob Black at all, it is that he will always love you, Isabella Swan. Imprint or not, you are the one he chose to fall in love with. He may not be able to fight the pull, but you will _always_ have a place in his heart. Just like I know he will in yours. But you're strong Bella, it will take time, but I promise it won't hurt so badly. You'll find someone else, someone better."_

"_It hurts so badly, Quil. I feel like I can't breathe."_

"_Shh. I know, Bella. I'm sorry I can't do anything to help."_

"_Just don't leave me."_

"_I won't. I'm here for you, Bella, as long as you need me. I won't let you be alone. The pack won't desert you. We all love you, Bella, even Leah. Though, don't tell her I told you. I like my balls where they are." I couldn't hold in the chuckle. "See it will be okay." I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. Not with the way I felt._

"_I want the pain to go away. I don't want to feel it anymore."_

"_Tell me what to do, Bella. I don't like seeing you like this." I thought about it and I didn't think there was anything he could do. I wanted to forget about Jacob Black and imprinting and that pain that was eating me from inside._

"_Take the pain away. Make me forget. Make me forget him." I looked at him pleadingly. He was quiet for a few minutes._

"_I don't know how. Tell me how, and I will," he answered softly. I didn't think things through, I just acted. I reached up and kissed him. It seemed to have taken Quil aback. He sat frozen for a few seconds before returning the kiss. I was desperate and I knew he could feel it in the kiss. I just wanted to forget who Jacob was for enough time to not hurt. Quil tightened his hold on me and slid his tongue over my lips. I eagerly opened my mouth for him to explore. _

_Our tongues danced but I could still see Jacob in the back of my mind. I began to graze my hands up and down Quil's chest. He was strong and muscular as the rest of the boys. He was shorter than some of the others, so his muscles appeared larger instead of lean like some of the wolves. I felt him lift me and position me so that I was straddling him. He began to let his own hands explore my body. As his hand worked its way up my shirt, I felt a shiver run up my spine. I could tell he was smiling into our kiss._

_I was running out of air, so I pulled away panting. Quil didn't stop, though. He covered my face in sweet kisses, working his way down my jaw and neck. His kisses got harder the further he worked down. I moaned his name as he bit lightly down on my shoulder. When I realized it was Quil's name I said, I immediately wanted more. I captured his mouth again and intensified the kiss, pulling him as close as I could to my body. He moaned as I ran my hands through his thick, dark hair. I pulled my hands down his back, slightly digging my nails into it, bringing a growl from his chest. _

_He flipped us over, me on my back, and him hovering. He pulled away looking at me with eyes full of lust and questions._

"_Please, Quil, take it all away," I said answer his unspoken question. I wanted to lose myself in Quil. I knew I could forget with him. He nodded, licking his lips._

"_Not here," he breathed out. "Let's get to my place. It's just through the trees." I nodded, agreeing to whatever he wanted as long as he gave me what I needed. He picked me up effortlessly and kissed me again, never stopping while he began to walk._

I was pulled out my thoughts as the flight attendant offered me a drink. I happily took a water bottle from her. I needed a break from my memories. It all still felt like it happened yesterday. Never at the beginning of that day did I think I would find myself at Quil Ateara's house, in Quil Ateara's bed.

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**Author's Note:** So before you freak out, I want to inform you that Claire does not exist in my story. I didn't want to tell you that before and give away too much. The only wolves to have imprints are Sam, Jared, Paul, and now Jacob. Also, if you were wondering, this story goes off the idea that neither Alice nor Edward ever came back. Bella has not had any contact from any Cullen since their leaving after her birthday. And at the moment, I don't see them returning.


	4. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

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Previously…

_I was pulled out my thoughts as the flight attendant offered me a drink. I happily took a water bottle from her. I needed a break from my memories. It all still felt like it happened yesterday. Never at the beginning of that day did I think I would find myself at Quil Ateara's house, in Quil Ateara's bed._

_

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_

I sat the water down and looked back out the window. We were high in the clouds and I couldn't really see anything below. I shut my eyes and let the memories flood back, and take over.

_It wasn't until we broke through the trees that I saw how dark it had gotten outside. The forest was naturally dark due to the trees blocking out the light. I wondered how long I had been crying in the forest before Quil found me. Those thoughts were tossed aside as I felt myself pressed up against a door shutting it closed. I opened my eyes to see I was in Quil's bedroom. Quil found my mouth and pulled it to his. I breathed him in. He smelt of cedar wood. I wanted to feel more. I dug my nails into his skin hoping for another reaction like before. He pulled me away from the door only to slam me against it again. His breathing was ragged and his spoke roughly into my ear._

"_That isn't very nice, Bella."_

"_I don't want nice." That sparked something in his eyes. He carried me over to the bed and plopped me down, ripping my blouse open, sending the buttons flying. I knew that Quil was experienced. He was the playboy of the group, using his new found werewolf body to his advantage. I had no doubt that he would pleasure me. He had already made me forget Jacob at that point. It wasn't about forgetting Jacob anymore; it was about what I needed. And I needed to feel wanted. This wasn't the healthy way to do that, but it was the only way I could think of at the time._

_He moved toward me like a predator, stalking up to its prey. He stared into my eyes as he unbuttoned my shorts, pulling down the zipper and yanking down the shorts along with my panties. He slid his hands up my legs and stopped at my hips. He jerked me down so that I was lying flat on the bed. He climbed on top of me and I awaited his next move._

_Quil started to rub his hands all over my body, missing both my breasts and my core. The two places that ached for his touch the most. He leaned down and kissed me with a force I had never felt before. I could feel his hands behind me, undoing the clasp on my bra. He threw it aside and stared at what he had uncovered. I moved my hands to hide myself up, conscious under his gaze. I knew that I was probably nothing compared to the many other girls he had seen. He reached for my hands._

"_Don't do that," he growled out. "You're beautiful, Bella. Absolutely gorgeous, but you conceal it so that no one can see it. I don't want to see you do it anymore. At least not with me," said never taking his eyes off mine. I nodded and he pulled his hands from mine and moved them to envelop my breast. My eyes closed and I moaned at the contact. I never wanted his hands to leave my body again._

_He began to kiss me again, still roughly, and I was beginning to really like it. One hand continued to knead my breast while his mouth my contact with the other. I gasped at the feeling. My eyes flickered open to see him staring into mine while sucking on my nipple. He moaned, causing a shiver down my spine again. His hand that was no longer on my breast made contact with my skin again, only this time further down. My eyes widened as I felt his finger slide in me._

"_Quil," I moaned out. The heat added to the sensation I felt. He pumped it in and out a few times before inserting another._

"_So wet and tight," he groaned out. I could only moan in response. He moved further down my body while keeping his fingers pushing into my core. My eyes fluttered shut as I felt his warm mouth at my entrance. "So sweet and so damn good," he said as he lapped up my juices. His tongue was flicking against my clit hard and fast. It didn't take long for the fire to build, sending me over into my orgasm._

"_Oh, Quil. Oh, god. Oh. Fuck," I said as the waves of pleasure flooded me hard. He kept thrusting slowly into me as he moved up to kiss me once more. As I came down from my high, I opened my eyes to see his lust filled ones._

"_You are so fucking beautiful." His statement filled me with an unknown emotion. I ignored it and moved to push him so that he was lying down. He complied easily looking as me questioningly. I wanted to give him, what he gave me. I moved down his body toward his sweats. As I began to push them down, his hand caught mine._

"_Don't." I looked up him confused and partly hurt. "This is about you, Bella. Not me. I want to make you make feel good."_

"_But I want to make you feel good, too," I said almost pouting._

"_Trust me, seeing you like that makes me feel really good." He said with a small chuckle. He pulled me up to kiss him. I wanted more. I wanted to feel him completely. Staying on his chest, I pushed his pants down. He pulled away from my mouth with wide eyes. "Bella," he questioned._

"_I want you, Quil. I want you fully. Do you want me?"_

"_Yes," he breathed out. "Are you sure you want to do this?"_

"_Positive." He gave a small nod and reached in his night stand. After a second, he lowered himself to my entrance. He leaned down to capture my mouth with his. Without warning or breaking from the kiss he pushed inside of me. It hurt slightly, having only done it once before. We both groaned as he filled me completely._

"_So fucking tight. God, Bella, you feel so good."_

"_More Quil." He pulled almost out and pushed back in. It wasn't long before we were both hitting our ends. We called out each other's names as we came together. After filling the condom with his seed, he pulled out and excused his self to the bathroom to clean up. I closed my eyes and willed my heart to slow down with each breath. Soon warm arms enveloped me in a hold. I snuggled into Quil's chest, breathing him in once more. I was wondering why I had never noticed his wonderful smell before. He kissed me on the top of my head and sighed._

"_Sleep, Bella." And I did, wrapped in his strong embrace._

_

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**Author's Note:** We got some more of hot Quil. Let me know what you thought.


	5. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews!!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

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Previously…

_I snuggled into Quil's chest, breathing him in once more. I was wondering why I had never noticed his wonderful smell before. He kissed me on the top of my head and sighed._

"_Sleep, Bella." And I did, wrapped in his strong embrace._

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_I awoke the next morning before Quil, it was barely light outside. I stayed wrapped in his arms, simply admiring the man that lay before me. As I remembered the night we shared, I also I thought of what had come to pass to get us there. Jacob had imprinted on another. I felt the pain hit again like a sledge hammer. I wouldn't use Quil again. It was wrong on so many levels. I would have to learn on my own. Laying there watching him breath, I decided what I needed to do for myself. I needed to leave. I had to leave Forks for my own good. There was no way I could heal while seeing Jacob happy with his imprint. _

_I stoked Quil's hair, seeing how young and surprisingly, innocent he looked while he slept. He was a better friend than I had ever hoped to get out of the pack. He and Embry both would do almost anything for me, as Quil proved the night before. I caressed his cheek with my hand and leaned down to give him a small kiss. He sighed quietly and his lips curled up into a small smile. He breathed in my scent._

"_Bella," he quietly called in his sleep._

"_Thank you, Quil," I whispered, pulling my self out of his tight embrace. He reached his arms out, them falling on the empty side of the bed._

"_Bella," he called out slightly louder. I knew it was time for me to take me leave before it would go noticed. I got dressed realizing my blouse was ripped and would not work. I found a shirt of Quil's that was smaller than the rest. It had been buried in the back of his closet. I pulled it on, and breathed in the smell of cedar. It smelled just as Quil did. I slipped out his window, thankful that his house was a one story unlike my own. I managed to land on my two feet without falling miraculously._

_I headed down the street back to First Beach. My truck keys were still in my pocket from the day before. After a brief walk, I arrived at my truck. I stood staring at it for a brief moment. Subconsciously I think I expected to find Jacob there, waiting for me. I thought he might have cared if I had made it safely back home_. I guess I'm not his priority anymore._ I thought bitterly. I shook my head, climbed in and headed back for Forks._

_When I got home, Charlie was up and frantic. He had called the Blacks' residence and Billy informed him of my and Jake's break up and that I wasn't there. Billy assured Charlie that I was probably with a friend not wanting to come home yet and not to worry. I was sure Billy didn't actually know that I was with a friend, at least I hoped not. But his assuredness saved my butt when I was trying to explain to Charlie of my absence._

_He was saddened, but understanding of my desire to leave Forks. The only reason I hadn't left after graduation was Jacob and now that reasoning was gone. The college school year started in only a week, so that was not an option. We agreed that going to stay with Renée would probably be the best decision for me at the moment. So, I packed my bags quickly and made my way onto a flight that afternoon._

I pulled myself out of my thoughts, noticing that we were beginning our decent into Seattle. I was almost home. How things had changed since I left.

_It was staying with Renée and Phil in Jacksonville. I applied and was accepted to spring admissions to the University of North Florida there in Jacksonville. I was hurting everyday but I wasn't letting myself fall into a zombie state like I did when Edward left me. I found a job and I made friends. Renée loved having me with her again. She didn't fully understand my pain, but she was there every time I needed a shoulder to cry on. I was learning to live again. And it was a great feeling. I was becoming independent._

_In fact the only person I talked to in Washington was Charlie. I made him swear to not tell anyone where I was going. I needed my space, and I was afraid that I wouldn't get it other wise. Sometimes I wondered if Alice saw me leave, if she saw my heart break again. Why didn't she call or come? In the end I figured I really was nothing more than a temporary pet to the Cullen's. I accepted their abandonment a long time ago, but with the feeling happening all over again, I found myself thinking of them more than I normally did. I wondered why I could never keep the ones I loved._

_Two half months after moving to Florida, I finally put off what I had for over a month. I went to the doctors and found out I was pregnant. I broke down all over again. I didn't know why this was happening to me. I used protection with them both. _God, I don't even know the father of my child._ I thought shamefully. I felt horrible, like a slut. I didn't want to tell anyone, not Renée, not Charlie and definitely not Jacob or Quil. What would either of them do? They would probably be angry. Jacob was most likely living happily ever after with his imprint and wouldn't want me or his child to interfere with that life. And Quil, oh, Quil, would regret ever finding me in the woods, if he didn't already. I used him to take away my pain and in return I may have made him a young, and unplanned father. The thought of either of them being the father was horrifying. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. I couldn't decide who I would rather be the dad, neither would want the job._

_Renée sat in shock when I told her two weeks after I found out myself. She quickly pulled me in her arms and cried with me. She knew I had a tough road ahead of me. No one plans to be a single parent. But that was what I would be. I decided not to tell the boys. I wouldn't ruin their lives like that. It would be my final gift to them. Renée and I argued over my decision. She felt they deserved to know and to have a choice in the matter. On some level I agreed with her, but I let my fear rule my thought processes. I didn't think I could handle rejection that would come from either of them. They wouldn't just be rejecting me, but this life inside of me._

_By month four, I embraced my status of soon-to-be mother. I had never really wanted kids before, but now that I felt this little life inside me, I had never wanted anything more. The first time I heard the heartbeat I cried. It was so strong and healthy. Five months after leaving Forks, I learned that I was carrying a baby girl. I vowed that her closet would not only consist of pink and Renée and Phil laughed. Renée was convinced that I would get a girly-girl and I prayed against that. Two years of ballet was the only girly activity of my childhood, I wouldn't know where to start. _

_When I found out my baby was a girl, the doctor also told me I could only fly for another month. That fact lay heavily on my heart for the next three weeks. I decided that I had to go back, back to Forks and face the men I left behind._

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**Author's Note:** So, Bella's pregnant. Who's the daddy? And now you know how six months can change a person. Things will only get interesting from here... Review and let me know what you think!!


	6. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the great reviews. They really make my day…especially right now as I have only had 8 hours of sleep in the last 4 days. I am running on fumes after pulling an all nighter of shopping and now babysitting.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

_When I found out my baby was a girl, the doctor also told me I could only fly for another month. That fact lay heavily on my heart for the next three weeks. I decided that I had to go back, back to Forks and face the men I left behind._

_

* * *

_

I walked to baggage claim and saw Charlie awkwardly looking around while waiting for me. My plane arrived thirty minutes late. I walked toward him and soon he saw me and his eyes bulged out. I'd gained seventeen pounds and on my small frame, it showed greatly.

"Wow, Bells, you're huge."

"Thanks, Dad," I said sarcastically. I knew there would be no hiding it in Forks or La Push. Everyone would know by the time I left again in a week. I didn't plan to stay, I was only here long enough to announce the news, see where that landed me and haul my pregnant butt back to Florida.

"I don't mean fat, Bella, I just mean, wow, I didn't expect you to have such a belly already." Charlie took the news of my pregnancy hard. I knew he was disappointed in me and furious with Jacob. Along with not telling anyone of my location, I also made him swear to not reveal my current condition. He wanted to ring Jacob by his neck. I had to remind Charlie that it was once, we did use protection and that it may not even be his, so beating up Jacob wasn't a wise idea. I also knew that Charlie didn't understand our break up and hated Jacob for it. His relationship with Billy was becoming strained as well. To anyone outside of the pack, Jacob and I were happy and perfect together. I'm pretty sure that Charlie had already been setting money away for the wedding before the imprint.

"I know, Dad. Can we get the bags and go? I'm pretty tired."

"Of course, Bells."

The ride to Forks was pretty quiet. I knew Charlie was anxious taking me home. Sue Clearwater had moved in with him a month after I left for Florida. They'd been dating for a few months before that. He knew it was moving fast, but as he said, life was getting any longer. Charlie hadn't even told Sue of my pregnancy. She was on the Council, in Harry's spot and I knew she would not be able to keep such news to her self. Not because she was rude or a gossip, but because I was carrying a pack child, the first pack child of this generation. Even if I wasn't apart of the pack, my child would be due to whoever her father turned out to be.

I was nervous walking up the familiar steps. Sue would be the first of La Push to know, and I wasn't sure how long it would be before they all knew. Charlie gave me a reassuring smile and opened the door. I walked in and could smell dinner cooking in the kitchen. I heard more than one voice and started to panic. I was prepared for Sue, but not for anyone else. I looked to Charlie questioningly; surely he would have warned me someone else would be here. Seth and Leah still lived at Sue's home on the res. And Leah was the last person in the pack that I wanted to see. I could only imagine the looks she would send my way.

"Sue?" Dad called out.

"In the kitchen, Charlie. Seth and I were just finishing up. Why don't you let Bella settle into her room and then dinner will be done." I let out a sigh of relief. I could deal with Seth. Honestly if Leah was the last pack member I wanted to see, Seth was probably the one I was most willing to see. He was the sweet and ever understanding one.

Charlie and I made our way up the stairs and he put my bag on my old bed. Everything looked the same. The picture of Jake and I together at one of the many pack bonfires, still sat on my bedside table. I heard Charlie excuse himself and I headed over to the picture. I picked it up and felt my eyes start to water. I took a deep breathe while rubbing my stomach. Things were so much simpler then. I was the happiest that I had ever been. Charlie called me down and walked out of my room.

I slowly went down the stairs, dreading each step I made. I wrapped my arms around my growing stomach protectively as I turned the corner. Sue was looking down at the food, and Seth was in the fridge. I cleared my throat once and gained their attentions. Both of them looked at me with wide eyes and slacked jaws. Both were focused on what laid beneath my hands. I wasn't really sure what to say. I was sort of hoping it would come to me in the moment.

"So, now you know why I'm here."

"Oh my," Sue let out shakily.

"Wow," Seth said with eyes still bulging out. "Um, congratulations?" He said more as a question.

"Thanks, Seth."

"Sit down, Bella, and explain to us, what you've been up to for the past six months," Sue said never taking her eyes off of my stomach. I sat down at the small table across from Seth and on either side of Sue and Charlie.

"Well, I've been working in Jacksonville and living with Renée. And well, I've been cooking this little one," I said with a small chuckle while rubbing my stomach, but no one else laughed with me. They only stared.

"Um, so is it Jake's?" Seth asked wearily. I wasn't sure how to answer this. How do you tell someone you don't know the father of your child without sounding like a whore.

"I don't know," I said quietly and with my head down.

"How would you not know?" The young wolf asked me with confusion.

"He's not that only possible candidate, Seth." His eyes filled with understanding.

"Oh." Was his only response. After a few minutes of silence, I assumed he came up with his next question. "Who's the other candidate?"

"Seth!" Sue hissed out. "That is none of our business."

"Well, I guess not, but Jacob's like my brother so I'm wondering if this candidate happened before or after Jacob." It slightly hurt that Seth could imply that I would have ever cheated on Jacob, but I knew that it was a valid question. But it also made me realize that Quil must have kept our night well hidden, if Seth didn't already know that Quil was the other possible father.

"After he imprinted, Seth. I would never have done that to Jacob."

"What's imprinting?" Charlie asked. My eyes widened as did Seth and Sue's. I think we all forgot that he was there since he had been so quiet. Sue tried to play off the question.

"You know, Charlie, it's the new slang the kids use. When someone falls in love, or really likes someone, they imprint on the person's heart. Leave a mark if you will."

"Oh," he said not looking fully convinced. Then he face turned to anger. I knew he was thinking of hurting Jacob again.

The night continued slightly uncomfortably. Sue and Seth wanted to know what I planned to do. I answered truthfully, that I didn't know, I just knew that the truth needed to be known. They agreed and promised to keep it to themselves until I was ready to face Jacob. I also had to face Quil, but I think they both assumed the other possible guy was in Florida since I left the day after Jacob's imprinting not really leaving much time to sleep with someone else. Later on my bed, Seth filled me in on all pack news, with the exception of Jacob. Emily and Sam were getting married in a month, and Kim and Jared just got engaged. Plus, Embry imprinted on Emily's cousin, Evelyn, who came down for the engagement party. The only thing Seth said in regards to Quil was that he was almost like entire different person than he used to be. Saying, 'You'll have to see it, to believe it.' I wondered what that meant, but didn't push it. I didn't want to appear too interested in Quil. It was late and I was exhausted so Seth took his leave. I fell asleep wondering what to expect from the day that would follow. I knew I had to confront both Jacob and Quil before either found out from someone other than me.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, slowly the res will be finding out about the pregnancy. Bella better hurry up and tell the boys. Review and let me know what you think!!


	7. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the encouraging reviews! Time to possible father #1!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

I fell asleep wondering what to expect from the day that would follow. I knew I had to confront both Jacob and Quil before either found out from someone other than me.

* * *

I woke up from my restless sleep. I sat there idly wondering who I should go to first. It was a Saturday, so the boys would not be in school. I decided on Jacob and I knew my reasoning was wrong. If things went badly, I wanted Quil to comfort me, to hold me like he did that fateful night. I was so selfish I couldn't believe it. I got up and got ready, eating a light breakfast. I didn't think I could really hold down much. Morning sickness may have ended two months prior, but my nerves were nearly shot.

I grabbed the keys to my old Chevy truck and climbed in. I drove slowly to La Push. I started to hyperventilate as I passed the 'Welcome to La Push' sign. I took some calming breaths and continued on. I pulled up to the familiar red house. There were no cars in the drive. So, I sat in the truck just staring at the garage that held so many memories. I looked back to the house and gasped. Jacob was standing on the porch looking at me with so much emotion, that I wanted to run. I wanted to drive aback to Charlie's and grab the first flight out.

Most of all he looked shocked. He closed his eyes and shook his head and opened his eyes again.

"Bells?" He whispered. I couldn't hear it, but I could see it on his lips. I simply nodded my head. All the pain that I had worked so hard to overcome was seeping its way back into my heart. He took a step forward and stopped. Then he ran toward the truck. He yanked the door open and pulled me into giant hug.

"I've missed you so much, Bella. You have no idea. You just left, and Charlie refused to tell me where to. I wanted to look for you, but- but I couldn't leave." He gulped hard, pulling me closer to him. "I'm so sorry I did that to you, Bella. You know I never wanted to hurt you; I never wanted to leave you. I still love you, Bells. I still love you so much. Nothing could take that away, not even the imprint." I winced at the last word. "I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I tried to fight it, Bella, honest I did." He said still with his face buried in my hair. He would take deep breathes, breathing in my scent every few moments. "I didn't want to love her, I wanted to hate her. She made you leave me. But the imprint, the wolf inside me wouldn't let me." I didn't want to hear anymore, even though I came back knowing that he would be with his imprint. I tried to pull back, but he tightened his hold again. "Please, not yet. Give me a minute more," he said pleadingly.

I knew he hadn't noticed my bulging stomach yet. He was still too caught up in seeing me for the first time in almost six months. He drew in a deep breath and loosened his hold on me. He brought his face to mine and pressed his lips onto mine. He ran his hands through my hair and I did the same. The kiss was full of passion, love, and desperation. We both knew it would most likely be our last. And neither wanted it to end.

"God, Bella." He moaned into my mouth. He ran his hand down my side and once he reached my stomach, he pulled back abruptly. He took a step back and stared like a deer caught in headlights at my pregnant stomach. He swallowed hard.

"You're- You- I don't-" He looked up at me. "What does this mean, Bella?"

"That I'm pregnant." He gave a humorless laugh.

"I got that part. I mean, is it- is it my- my ba- baby?" He asked staring back at the bulge. It almost sounded like he had hope in his voice. I wouldn't spend time trying to analyze that. This was the harder part.

"Truthfully, I don't know," I said not looking at him.

"You don't know?!" He asked bitterly with a hint of anger.

"No, I don't know."

"You slept with someone else?" He asked quietly, his voice laced with hurt.

"Yes."

"Oh." He wasn't looking at me anymore. "How many?"

"Jacob…"

"I asked how many? How many people have you fucked, Bella, because my answer would be one. I've only slept with you. Imprint or not, you are the only one I've shared that with. So please tell me how many." He said glaring at the ground.

"Only one other." He nodded to himself.

"Thank you for answering."

"Jake…" I started, but I didn't know where to go. After a few minutes, Jake began to talk again.

"So, we'll be able to tell when the baby's born, right? Whether it's mine or not. I'm assuming there are not a lot of overgrown Indians hanging around in Jacksonville."

"Jake, I think, that the best thing would be to have a paternity test done." He looked up at me for the first time in minutes.

"You honestly think it would be necessary?"

"I do." He let out a long breath.

"Okay. Do you know what the chances are of it being mine?"

"I'd say it's pretty even." He nodded again not looking at me.

"Do you know what it is?"

"It's a girl and she appears to be perfectly healthy," I said looking down at my stomach rubbing it slightly.

"That's good. And how have you been? I mean with all this."

"Good, well, as good as I could be. I was angry and scared at first, but know I wouldn't trade her for anything." He shook his head and sighed.

"I'm sorry; this is a lot to digest."

"It's okay, Jake, I know it's a lot to lay on you. I just didn't want to hide it anymore. You deserved to know." He once again nodded.

"Sure, sure." He took a big breath and let it out. "And what about the- the other guy? What does he think about all of this?"

"I haven't told him yet. I wanted to tell you first." It was sort of a half lie. I did want to tell Jacob first, but not because of the reason he probably thought.

"Okay. Do I even get to know his name?" I shook my head.

"No, not right now. I'm sure you'll find out eventually." _Probably sooner than you think._ "I want him to know, before anyone else knows. Charlie doesn't even know who the other guy is." And he didn't. Only Renée knew that Quil was the other possible father. I didn't want Charlie hunting down the entire pack of La Push.

"Fair enough, I guess. So, what now?"

"I don't know. I didn't really think too far ahead on this one."

"Can I- can you-" he sighed. "Can I have a day or so to process all this? How long are you here, or are you here for good?"

"I'm here for the week. And that's fine. Just call me when you're ready to talk more. I'm at Charlie's."

"So Seth already saw you." I looked at him questioningly. "He's been acting funny all week. I assume he knew you were coming and didn't want anyone else to know, or well, at least for me to not know. And I know that he was at Charlie's last night. He missed patrol. He called Sam this morning, which Sam and I thought was strange, why didn't Seth just phase and let us know that he was going to miss patrol ahead of time. Now I know."

"Don't be angry with him. I asked him and Sue to not let anyone know until I gave them the okay."

"I understand." He ran his hands through his hair. I could tell he was still trying to grasp everything I told him. I don't think it had really set in yet. "I'll see you soon, Bella." He cautiously walked over to me, placing his hands on my belly. He looked up at me. "I do love you." He placed a kiss on my forehead and walked back to the house. I felt sadness hit me. It went better than I could have hoped, but I still hated that I was in this situation. Not knowing the father of my child was bad enough, but the two possible fathers being best friends and both in high school. I sighed and I climbed back into the truck, deciding my next move.


	8. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for the reviews. And thanks to those who favorited the story or added it to their alerts. You guys rock! Time to see Quil! YAY!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

_He cautiously walked over to me, placing his hands on my belly. He looked up at me and said, "I love you." He placed a kiss on my forehead and walked back to the house. I climbed back into the truck, deciding my next move._

* * *

I made my mind up that I would go see Quil. He deserved to know as much as Jacob did. I didn't know how long it would take Jake to tell the rest of the pack, so I needed to so this quickly. No one may suspect Quil from what I have gathered from Seth and Jacob, but Quil himself, as the other possible daddy-to-be, would surely be able to put two and two together. I drove up to his house and put the truck in park. I climbed out and headed for the door. After a few preparing minutes, I finally knocked, holding my breath. A couple of minutes later and just as I turned to leave, the door opened to reveal Quil. But not the Quil I was after, no instead Old Quil stood before me. Confusion spread across his face and then shock a he took in my growing belly.

"Oh my Taka Aki!"

"Hi, Mr. Ateara." I didn't feel comfortable calling him Old Quil to his face. Especially when I was looking for his grandson in order to inform him that he was possibly becoming a father. I really didn't want to be the one to inform Old Quil he just might be becoming a great-grandfather.

"Bella, it's nice to see you again. The pack was worried about you. You just sort of disappeared." I just nodded. I did sort of disappear. No denying it. "Is that a future wolf you're carrying?"

"Um, well I sure hope not for her sake." I chuckled a bit. But like the night before, I was the only one to find humor in the situation. I cleared my throat. "But if you're asking if she's a wolf's baby, then yes." I tried to be vague, not wanting to confirm that it was solely and unquestionably Jacob's baby.

"And does he know?"

"Yes, Jacob knows, as do Sue and Seth Clearwater." I wanted to throw them into the mix as well. I was hoping if Old Quil knew that people besides Jacob knew, then it wouldn't look so funny that I was seeking out young Quil specifically.

"And what did he say?"

"He's taking some time to think about what I told him."

"Okay. I'm sure we'll be having a meeting of the Elder's this week to discuss this. If you don't mind, I think you should be there."

"Why do you need a meeting?"

"A wolf has never reproduced with another while he has an imprint, granted this occurred before the imprint I am assuming, still no situation like it has ever been seen in our history. We will need to plan accordingly."

"Sure, whatever you need. I'll be there." I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but really I just wanted to stop talking to him before he pulled any more information out of me. I was a really bad liar. I hoped I could get away with half-truths at the very least.

"So, can I ask why you came knocking on my door anyway?"

"Oh, well, I got done talking to Jacob, and I didn't really have anything else to do. So, I thought I would see how the pack was. Seth filled me in some, but I just wanted to see for myself. I was closest to Quil and Embry, so I thought I would start with them. So is Quil home?" I could see that Old Quil was studying me.

"He's down at the store working." I'd forgotten that the Ateara's owned the general store in town. But that was mainly because Quil hated when his grandfather or mother forced him to work there.

"I didn't think Quil…liked working at the store."

"He didn't, but he's matured a lot in the past few months. He's really becoming a great man, working at the store when he isn't patrolling or at school, and cleaning up his shenanigans." I wasn't sure what to say.

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yes, it is. Well that's where you can find him, and I'm sure that Embry is with his imprint or in the woods somewhere. It was…interesting seeing you again and I'll see you again soon. I'll have Jacob or someone inform you when the meeting will be."

"Okay. Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Ateara."

"Not a problem, good day." He shut the door before I could reply.

"Bye," I said to the wooden door.

* * *

I drove up to the store and climbed out once again. As I approached the story, I began to really wonder about the changes that both Seth and Old Quil had mentioned. I came up to the door as a group of teenagers from Forks did. I slipped in with them immediately taking refuge behind an aisle. I watched Quil behind the counter. He was reading the newspaper, which was just odd. But then a weirder thing happened.

A beautiful girl from the same group I entered with approached the counter. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she was obviously flaunting herself at Quil. She was leaning over the counter pushing her cleavage together, twirling her hair. Quil didn't even give her a second glance. From how Jacob and the other guys used to talk, the old Quil, the Quil I knew, would have taken the girl straight to the storage room for a quick hook-up. After a few minutes of shameless flirting the girl gave up and left with her friends. I was stunned. I would have expected to have seen the famous knee bending smile Quil gave to any semi-attractive woman he crossed paths with. But he gave her nothing.

I walked a little further down the aisle closer to where he stood. He looked leaner, older than when I left him that early morning. His head picked up and he surveyed the store. I made sure to stay where only my eyes were exposed and they would be hard to spot. He looked questioningly around while he took a deep breath, smelling in his surroundings. I froze, forgetting about his extra werewolf senses.

"Bella," he breathed out. I was stunned. I didn't think he could identify me so easily. I didn't move, I didn't even breathe. He looked around a few more seconds before shaking his head and looking back down at the paper.

"You're just imagining things again, Quil. Get a grip on your self. She's not coming back," he muttered to himself. _Does that mean that he has imagined I was there before? It sure seems like that was what it implied. Did he want me to come back? Why? _ I wondered all these things to myself. This new Quil was confusing me more with every passing moment. The door to the side entrance that was behind me opened and a gust of wind flowed through the open door past me. Quil looked back toward where I stood fully alerted, with wide searching eyes. He breathed in a deep breath closing his eyes as he took it in.

"Bella," he said softly. He stepped from behind the counter and made his way toward me. I panicked. I realized I wasn't ready for this reunion. I still needed time to absorb the new Quil. He was walking with determination in each step. I turned quickly to make my escape but ran into a display case of cereal. The boxes fell all around me as I wrapped my arms protectively around my stomach. I stood there with my eyes closed hoping to develop invisibility.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, now you know a little bit of the changes that Quil has made in the past few months. Also, many of you have wondered if Quil imprinted on Bella. No, he hasn't and he will not. Bella will not be imprinted on at all in this story, just so you guys know. Also, if you want a small preview of the next chapter….review and let me know what you thought of this one.


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** Thank you all so much for all the reviews! That sneak peek must have really got you guy's attentions. So, this next week is finals week and I am packing up to go back home for the break, so I will probably only have one update for this story between now and Friday. Okay, enough chit chat, I'm sure you are all dying to read how Quil reacts.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

_I turned quickly to make my escape but ran into a display case of cereal. The boxes fell all around me as I wrapped my arms protectively around my stomach. I stood there with my eyes closed hoping to develop invisibility._

* * *

"Bella, is that you?" He said wearily. I still had my back turned toward him. I turned around slowly.

"Yep, it's me." He didn't say anything; he just stared at the belly. I was getting pretty used to that reaction. He opened his mouth a few times but words never came out. "Quil, can you say something, anything?" His eyes flew up to mine.

"I missed you." _What? _That wasn't what I was expecting. "I went to your house the next day, and Charlie said you were gone. I wanted to call you, I figured you went to Jacksonville; it was the only place I could figure you would go." His eyes traveled down to the floor. "But I figured that you hated me." _What? _I didn't know what to say. How could I hate Quil? It should me the other way around.

"Why would I hate you, Quil? I think you have it backwards," I said.

"I could never hate you, Bella. And you should hate me. I took advantage of you. You were hurting and that clouded your judgment and I didn't do anything to stop you from making a mistake you'd later regret." He still wasn't looking at me.

"Quil, you asked me if I was sure, do you remember what I said." He shook his head. "I said, 'positive.' And I was. And I don't regret it, Quil." He looked up at me again.

"You don't?" He questioned.

"No, do you?" He shook his head fervently.

"Of course not. But why would I hate you?" It was my turn to look away. Doing what I did was selfish and now because of it, Quil may have to suffer the consequences with me.

"Because I used you, Quil. I wanted the pain to go away and I used you to get what I wanted. It was selfish and wrong of me to do that to you."

"You didn't use me. I knew what we were doing. I knew why you wanted it and I still actively participated. I still wanted it. You can't use someone if they allowed it knowingly." I nodded. I was relieved that he didn't hate me. Though, I still thought he should. I looked down at my belly and rubbed circles on it.

"Aren't you going to ask about this?" I could hear him swallow hard.

"I was kind of hoping you would just tell me," he said shakily. "Is it Jake's, right, because I know we used, um, protection?" I shook my head.

"I don't whose baby she is. I used protection with both of you."

"Wow, okay. That's um, well, that's-" He didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence.

"I know it's big news, Quil. I know it's not what a seventeen year old wants to hear. After she's born, we'll be able to know whose she is."

"So it's a girl?" He said with a smile playing on his lips.

"It's a girl." He was biting his lip.

"Does Jacob know?"

"Yes, I just came from his house."

"Does he know that she could be mine?"

"No. He knows that there is someone else, but I didn't want him to know before you did, so I didn't tell him when he asked." We stood there for a few minutes just staring at one another. The bell at the front brought us out of our thoughts and gaze.

"I better go see what they need. I'm the only one here right now. Can you- can we talk more? You know, about all this." I nodded. "Okay, um, my shift ends at two, can I come by your house, or you come back?" I thought about where would be best. If Quil came to the house, surely Charlie and Sue would piece it together. And I wasn't ready for that.

"Is there some where private we can go?" He seemed to think for a moment.

"We can go to the Council's meeting hall. No one would be there today, so we wouldn't have any interruptions." _Why not? _I asked myself. I would need to know where that was this week anyway.

"Okay, can I meet you here at two then? I don't know where it is."

"Yeah, sure. That would be fine." The bell rang again. "Just a second," he called out. He approached me and pulled me into a hug. "I really did miss you, Bella," he whispered into my ear and then gave me a peck on the cheek. Then he bent down and placed a hand on my belly. "See you both in a few hours," he said staring at my stomach. Then he walked toward the front. I placed my hand over the spot were he kissed me and the other on my belly. I knew my heart was racing and I felt her kick inside me. _This just got a whole lot more complicated._

* * *

I left out the side door, settling on the idea of going to the beach. I walked around First Beach completely avoiding my spot with Jacob. Too many memories that I didn't have the energy to think about. I sat down and looked out at the waves. The wind was chilled and I wrapped my jacket more tightly. It was 59 degrees Fahrenheit in Jacksonville, but there in La Push, it was close to 40. I was lost in my thoughts wondering how I would do this. What if who ever the father was didn't want to be in her life? What if he did? The baby was due in the beginning of May and the boys were graduating high school at the start of June. Whichever it was would become a dad before even graduation high school. _How did this happen?_ I was pulled out of those thoughts when something caused a shadow to fall on me.

"Why are you back?" the voice growled at me. I looked up to see Leah standing above me.

"I had to." I was sitting with my legs folded against my stomach and with the large jacket, so I knew she couldn't tell I was with child.

"Leave, Bella."

"I can't, Leah. I have things I have to take care of."

"Take care of them where ever you were, you shouldn't be here," she said louder.

"And why not, Leah?" I screamed back at her.

"Because you'll only end up hurting yourself more, stupid!" I knew my mouth had to be open, because Leah did not just say I needed to leave for _my_ own good.

"What?"

"I am stuck here watching the love of my life marry my cousin. You don't have to be here. Go somewhere else and make a new life for yourself, Bella. Please, don't be like me." Her last sentence was pleading. I was shocked beyond words. I was almost as shocked as the day I found out I was pregnant.

"I'm already have a piece of me stuck here, Leah."

"You can let Jake go if you try." I would have to show her.

"Give me hand up, Leah." I said holding out my arm so she could help me up. She lifted me up and I began to unzip my jacket.

"What are you doing, you'll freeze." I sighed and opened my jacket so that my belly was exposed. "Oh. My. God. What the fuck are you going to do?"

"Looks like I'm going to have a baby." She nodded dumbly. My stomach starting growling signaling that my baby girl and I were hungry. Leah offered to take me to her house and feed me. Over lunch we talked more than we had ever talked before. None about the baby, though. Apparently she was only a bitch to me because she thought I was stupid for setting myself up for hurt. I guess I was stupid. After an hour I realized that we should have been friends, and that maybe we could be in the future. I really wanted to tell her about Quil, but decided against it. I was scared of what Jacob would say when he found out. Quil was his best friend and even his second cousin. And I knew that Jacob really had no right to be mad seeing as he imprinted and loved another, but I still cared what Jacob thought. And if I was going to be honest, it thrilled me to no end to hear that he hadn't shared such an intimate thing with his imprint. That he only gave that to me. Again, I was selfish.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, what do you all think?? Did you like Quil's reaction? What about Leah, who would have guessed Leah had a heart under all that ice? I really wanted Leah to get a good role in this story. She is so often forgotten or turned into an uncaring harpy. I think she will be the perfect person for Bella to have as a friend in this troubling time. Do you agree? Next chapter will be the deeper discussion with Quil.


	10. Chapter 9

**Author's Note:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! I was thrilled to hear that so many of you agree that Leah should have an active role in this little fic of mine. So, this chapter is like 4 or 5 times the length of previous chapters. I didn't want to break Bella and Quil's conversation into a lot of small chapters, so here it is all in one. Enjoy, because you probably won't get the next one until next Saturday.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

_I was scared of what Jacob would say when he found out. Quil was his best friend and even his second cousin. And I knew that Jacob really had no right to be mad seeing as he imprinted and loved another, but I still cared what Jacob thought. And if I was going to be honest, it thrilled me to no end to hear that he hadn't shared such an intimate thing with his imprint. That he only gave that to me. Again, I was selfish._

* * *

I left Leah with plans for her to stop by Charlie and Sue's for lunch the following day. I felt good that I would have a friend in La Push, even if it was until shit hit the fan and everyone found out Quil was potential daddy number two. I drove back to store and parked the truck, hoping no one from the pack would see me. Before I had time to gather myself and get out, the door was opening for me. I jumped and yelped at the sudden movement.

"Bella, hey, it's just me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that." My heart started to slow back down after I saw Quil looking at me concerned.

"No, I'm sorry, Quil. I'm just a bit jumpy at the moment."

"It's okay. I was going to see if you wanted me to drive since you don't know the way."

"Yeah, that would be great," I said sliding over in the seat.

"Hold on, I have to move the seat back to fit in here," Quil said before pulling the lever and sliding the bench seat back as far as it would go. He hopped in, shut the door, and cranked up the engine again. He backed up and started on the road. He reached over and laid his hand over my own that was resting on my stomach. I really wasn't sure what to say just yet. I looked over at him and saw that he nose was twitching.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"What? Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?"

"Your nose is twitching."

"Oh, well, you kind of smell like Leah."

"Probably because I was with her while I waited for you to get off work."

"Really? She wasn't like rude or anything was she? Because if so, I can-"

"No, she was actually really nice. We talked and she even fed me."

"Food, crap, I should have seen if you were hungry before I sent you off. Shit, I'm sorry. Are you still hungry, I can run back into the store?" He said rushed.

"I'm fine, Quil. Thanks, though. I didn't know I was hunger until I was talking to Leah. My stomach let me know in a rather loud way."

"Oh, okay. So, she knows that you're pregnant, then?"

"Yep."

"Does she know about me?"

"Nope."

"Okay," he said pulling into a small parking lot. "We're here. It's kind of like our city hall, I guess you could say. Except no one is here unless there is something important going on."

"Well, expect to be here again this week." Quil looked at me confused.

"Why?" He asked.

"Can we go inside and then talk?"

"Sure, let's go." He opened the door and helped me out. We walked into the building. There was a large room that seemed to act as a sort of auditorium. We walked through it and down a hallway. Quil opened a door and led me into a small conference type room. "We'll have privacy here. Only the Elder's use this room." We both took a seat and turned the chairs facing each other. "So, why will I be here again?"

"Oh, well, I didn't know where to find you, so I went by your house first and it was your grandfather that opened the door. So, he saw that I was, um, pregnant and assumed it was Jacob's." I heard Quil have a low growl in his chest. "But I didn't confirm it, instead I just said that it was a wolf's baby. So, then he went on how this hadn't happened before and there needed to be a meeting."

"What exactly hasn't happened before?"

"Again, he thinks she's Jacob's, so a woman has never been pregnant with a wolf's child, while the wolf has a- has an imprint with someone else."

"So he doesn't know that there's a fifty-fifty chance that she's not Jake's, that she's mine?" He seemed a little annoyed or angry at that possibility. I started to get nervous.

"Well, no, I didn't exactly feel comfortable telling that to Old Quil. I didn't want to perk his interest any further and I'm a really bad liar and I didn't want anyone to know that she could be yours before you did, so I just kept my mouth shut and tried to answer as vaguely but truthfully as I could without-" I stopped as Quil put one hand on my cheek and the other on my stomach.

"Whoa, whoa, Bella. Calm down, take a breath. I don't think getting worked up and not breathing is good for her or you. It's okay. I understand now. Sorry, I was a little harsh before." He was way too understanding of everything. It was making me angry and upset and certainly not worthy all at once. I felt the emotions coming and I couldn't stop the tears that formed.

"No, I'm sorry that I dragged you into this?"

"Hey, Bella, I'm not," he said wiping away the tears and pulling me to him.

"Why? Why would you say that?"

"Because I care about you, Bella. A lot more than I should, but I don't care anymore. I've liked you from the moment I saw you in Jacob's garage. I thought you were unbelievably gorgeous. But of course that wasn't too long after Cullen and then you were with Jacob. So, I just suppressed my feelings. I didn't let them grow, instead I buried them deep inside. I tried so hard to look at you like a sister, like I do with Emily, Kim and the other imprints. For the most part I did so successfully, but a little part still felt different things for you."

"What changed then?"

"When I saw you lying on the ground that night, I wanted to kill whoever had done that to you. Then when you said that Jacob had- had done what he'd done, I didn't know what to think. He was my brother and he hurt you, someone that was supposed to be my sister. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt you." I gasped thinking that was why he did what he did. He must have realized that too. "No, that wasn't why I kissed you back or took you home. God, this is coming out all wrong." He took a deep breath. "I phased back so I could comfort you. I didn't want you to hurt. I really would have done anything for you to have felt better. When you were begging me I was trying to think if there was a way we just hadn't thought of to break an imprint. I thought that if you could still have Jake, that you would be better."

"But we both knew then and know now, that won't ever happen."

"Maybe not, I know Jacob still has very strong feelings for you. His love for you never went away. Instead it was like his heart just got bigger so there was room for the imprint without taking your spot." I swallowed hard.

"I don't want to talk about Jacob right now. Finish what you were saying, please." He nodded and continued.

"So, when you kissed me that line of thought went out the door and I wanted you for myself. It was like all those feelings that I buried resurfaced in that first kiss. Every muscle and bone in my body ached for you. But I didn't want to be selfish. I knew that that wasn't what you really needed at the time. You needed a friend, not some guy to take advantage of your heartbreak."

"You were exactly what I needed," I said staring him in the eye. "I was the selfish one. I didn't think about the repercussions that it would bring. Which, by the way, how is that no one knows about that night?" He smiled sadly and chuckled.

"After I found out you left, quite possibly for good, I didn't know what to do. I mean I woke up to find you gone, praying it wasn't a dream. So, after sitting on the beach for four hours, trying to figure out my next move, I decided to pay a visit to Sam." My eyes widened. "Don't worry, he doesn't know, no one does. But he knows _something_ happened that night to _me_. He doesn't even know it has anything to do with you. Though, I think he suspects it. Anyway, I had him put an injunction on me. I had him make it impossible for me to think about that night when I phased. I knew that if Jacob or anyone found out, it would just bring you more pain. Plus, as much as I don't want it to now, I know it will hurt Jake. I didn't really care about him at the moment, but after thinking, I hate that it will be considered stabbing him in the back by some of the pack. I want you to know that I don't regret it whatever the outcome is, Bella. I don't care how pissed off Jacob or the pack gets at me."

"He was pretty angry, Quil, when I told her that there was someone else. I was actually scared of him for the first time ever."

"He didn't hurt you though, right?" I shook my head.

"No. But he told me that he hasn't, you know, with his imprint."

"He hasn't. He didn't even give into the imprint until two months ago. Those first four months weren't so great for the pack. He hated himself and in turn we all felt like crap. Of course, I felt like more crap than anyone else for a different reason. Anyway, I think not having sex with her is kind of like his last bit of holding on to you. Once he does it, it's like you and he never shared anything special."

"And now he thinks I betrayed that something special."

"You shouldn't worry too much about him, Bella. You have bigger things to worry, about like this little one," he said rubbing my stomach. I had noticed that he touched my belly a lot in just this small time today; he hadn't pulled away from it since he calmed me down earlier. "He has his imprint, in time he'll be just fine. It's you that I worry more about." He ran his free hand through his hair. Then he looked back down at his other hand and smiled. "So, when is she due?"

"May."

"Wow that seems like it's just around the corner. What's going to happen, Bella?"

"I don't know."

"I want to be there," he said in a firm voice. I wasn't sure exactly what he was talking about specifically.

"At the birth?"

"For everything. The doctor appointments, the weird cravings, the birth, everything."

"Quil, I live in Florida. How are you going to do that?"

"You're not staying here?" He sounded alarmed. I shook my head.

"I only came back to tell the two of you. I'm only here for a week."

"Please, don't go. Bella, please. I'll take care of you both."

"Quil, you have to finish high school."

"I can get my GED or something and then work full-time at the store. Please, Bella, I want to be there. I want to help you. I really want to be a part of this."

"Quil, what happens if she's not yours?" He winced and I had a strong feeling that he already loved this baby as his own.

"Then I still want to be there. Technically she will still be family. And that won't change the way I feel about you."

"Quil, I just don't know-"

"Bella, I care about you. I care an awfully lot about you. I've changed since you left. I haven't even looked at another girl since that night. And I don't plan on it. I work at the store, and don't goof off anymore. I take more responsibility in the pack. I've matured, Bella, I've grown in the last six months. I can be who you need. Give me a chance, Bella. I can be there for you."

"Yeah, until you imprint, too." He sighed loudly. I had him on that one. I didn't want to set myself up for that again.

"Bella, I know I can't promise you forever. But I can promise to take care of you and that little girl for as long as fate lets me. I know that's not exactly fair to you. If the baby is, if she's mine, don't you think that that will mean something? Like it would be fate's way of showing us that we should be together."

"If she's Jacob's what would that mean? That fate hated me and ruined any chance that I could move on from him."

"I don't know. Or it could just mean that either way, that you belong in La Push. That imprint or not, you're one of us. You're part of this pack."

"Quil, I just can't. You've become one of my closest friends in La Push, and I can see what a dramatic change you've made in your self. But just I can't do that to myself again." He looked away and slowly nodded.

"I get that, I do. Can you still stay here and let me help? Even if we're not together, I can still be there for you, Bella. You shouldn't be doing this alone."

"And you shouldn't be doing this at all at only seventeen."

"I turn eighteen in two weeks. Does that mean I can help starting then?" he said with a smirk. I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face. "Stay an extra two weeks, and if you still want to go back, I won't stop you."

"Quil, I can't fly anymore after next week. I won't be able to leave even if I wanted to."

"Well then, I am liking my plan better and better every minute."

"Wipe that smirk off your face." It only grew bigger.

"Make me."

"Whatever." We were both quiet for a few moments.

"Bella, when do you think we should tell everyone that it's me, that I could be the father?"

"I don't know, Quil. We should probably tell Jacob before the meeting. I don't want to ambush him like that."

"I agree. Maybe it should just be me. He'll be mad and I don't want you anywhere near him."

"He deserves to hear it from me, though," I sighed. I thought telling Jacob I was pregnant was going to be hard, telling him that the other viable candidate for fatherhood was his best friend seemed like climbing Mount Everest. Even if you make it, you might not make it out all in one piece.

"I'm just concerned for the two of you. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby, Bella. Maybe we can have you well protected inside and you can just yell out to him through a window."

"Through a window, Quil? Really?"

"Yes, really. That is a reasonable compromise. Okay, what about you tell him on the phone and I'll be there in person?"

"Try again."

"Come on, Bella."

"I want to be there. I'll keep my distance, I promise. Besides, you'll be there to protect me, right?"

"Of course, Bella, but I'm not gonna lie, Jacob's bigger and stronger than me with that Alpha blood in him. It might not be pretty."

Do you think he would really hurt you?" I asked shocked.

"In the heat of the moment, yeah, I do. He might feel bad later, but in the moment he hears that I went behind his back like that, he'll want to kill me. On second thought, we might want Sam to be there to act as back up. I really want to survive to make it to the birth."

"I think that might be best too. Sam could always command him to stop. I don't want either of you getting hurt."

"I'll go over to Sam's first thing after leaving here. I do think that today or tomorrow would be best. I have patrol tomorrow afternoon, and I really don't think I can keep this kind of news to myself with or without an injunction."

"I understand. Maybe first thing tomorrow. Jacob said he needed some time to process what I told him."

"Okay. I'll get someone to cover my shift whenever you're ready to meet up with Jacob."

"Oh, I didn't mean to interfere with your work."

"It's cool, Bella. I pull almost thirty hours a week at work, I think my Mom can spare me for a couple of hours."

"Thirty hours? Plus school and patrol. When do you sleep, Quil?"

"Whenever there's time. I don't mind working at the store anymore. In fact, I'm glad that I've worked so much now."

"Why?"

"Because I've saved up a lot of money. I don't really buy anything with my paychecks except a few pair of cut offs each month and food when my Mom or Emily don't feed me. Now, I have a head start on what the baby will need."

"Quil, I really don't want to get your hopes up about the baby? There's an equal chance, but-"

"Bella, I really feel strongly that she's mine. At first I figured she was Jake's because we used a condom, but when you said that you used one with him, too. I don't know how to explain it. I just felt something, just like I did that night. Bella, I'm not going to lie, because I know you know what I used to be like, I've been with my fair share of girls." I didn't want to hear that discussion.

"Quil, really-"

"No, just let me finish. But that night, with you, that was entirely different than any sex I've ever had. Before, it was always just that, sex, and only sex. It never meant anything. But with you, it did, it meant a lot. I felt like my soul was connecting with yours or something. I just knew that I wanted to try something a relationship with you afterward as awful as that sounds. I knew that you loved Jake, and that your heart was just torn to shreds, but I felt like falling asleep with you in my arms was just so right. As if it was supposed to be like that. And I know that you don't want to risk being with me, that's not what this little speech is about. I just really, really think, no I feel it in my bones, in my heart, in my soul, that that little girl, growing inside of you, is mine. And because of that, I want to be there every step of the way. I will take care of her, and if you let me, I'll take care of you. Please consider staying."

"I'll consider it, but I really feel like I should go back to Florida."

"That's enough for now, I guess. It's getting to be dinner time, do you want to come over to my house?"

"I'd better not; we don't want Old Quil suspecting anything just yet. Plus, Charlie and Sue will be expecting me. I'll head back here around nine tomorrow morning if that's okay."

"Yeah, just come by the store and I'll take you wherever this meet will take place. I'll figure out the details with Sam. I'm kind of thinking that Sam knowing ahead of time might help out. If he knows, he won't be shocked at the news himself and freeze up if things get out of control. He'll know what to be waiting for. But I won't tell him if you don't want me too."

"No, I think you're right. Just make sure that no one else will find out before tomorrow."

"I'll ask Sam before I tell him if he plans on phasing tonight." Quil helped me out of my chair and we walked back down the hallway hand in hand. "Sam's house is just down the road so I can walk there now, or do you need help finding the main road again?" he asked as we walked into the large room again. We both stopped in the middle of it.

"I'll be fine, are you sure you don't need a ride?"

"I'll be fine, Bella. Just could you maybe call Sam's so I know you made it home safe?"

"Sure, is it the same number still?"

"Yeah, thanks, otherwise I'll worry about you."

"It's not a problem, Quil. Thank you for being so…great with all this."

"Bella, it's not a problem."

"You're sort of happy aren't you?"

"Sort of? I'm very happy, Bella. Being a wolf, you have a strong desire to mate and you know, reproduce. But that isn't even why I'm happy, I just, I don't feel so…excited. I don't know what the word is. I already love her."

"I can tell. Aren't you scared about possibly being a dad at eighteen, you won't have even graduated high school."

"Scared, a little. More thrilled than anything. And I told you already, I'll get my GED. So don't worry about that. You should get going, there's a storm coming in pretty soon."

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, don't worry too much tonight, okay?"

"I'll try not to."

"Good girl." He bent his knees so that he was face to face with my stomach. He put both hands on it. "And you, my little girl, be good for your mommy. She'll need her sleep tonight, so don't keep her up, little one. I'll see you tomorrow, baby. Remember I already love you." How did I get so lucky that I possible got pregnant by the most sincere and responsible seventeen year old boy in the world? Many grown men don't take such a serious and nurturing role, and this boy in front of me didn't even know for sure that this was his child.

"What are you doing, Quil?" I asked in an amused voice. I secretly loved that he was talking to the baby. It was such a sweet sight to watch.

"I want her to know my voice. When she's born, I want her to know her daddy's voice." I really didn't want to go over this again. But even more, I didn't want his heart to break if she wasn't his.

"Quil." I said in a firm voice. He answered not getting up or taking his hands or eyes off my belly.

"I know, I know. She might not be mine. But she might be, so I want to do everything a regular father would do during a pregnancy. If she is mine, I want her to know my voice, I want her to recognize it and be comforted by it. I want her to know that no matter what or who turns out to be her dad that I love her and I'll do anything for her. Even if I'm just Uncle Quil, or something like that, I want to be a part of her life and I want her know that she can always come to me. It doesn't matter if Jacob's the father or I am, I going to be apart of everything just like I said."

"What?" My eyes popped open wide as I heard the voice snarl from the door. I looked and saw Jacob shaking so badly that he was holding onto the door for support. Quil slowly got up and stood protectively in front of me. "What you think I would hurt her? It's you, you bastard, that I want to kill," Jacob growled at Quil.

"Jake, man, just stay calm. You can hurt me later, but please don't phase with Bella here. You don't want to hurt her or the baby."

"How could it be your baby, Quil?"

"Jacob-" I started.

"I asked Quil," he snapped at me.

"I found Bella the night that you imprinted. She was crying and lying on the ground, just like how Sam found her before." Jacob growled again after a wince. "I was just comforting her, trying to make her feel better. She wanted to- she wanted the pain to go away, so I made it go away. I kissed her and took her back to my house." He was telling it all wrong.

"No, that's-" Quil turned around and gave me a stern look to shut up.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. One thing led to another and we had sex. That's why she could be my baby." Jacob was taking deep, long breaths. I could tell it was taking everything in him not to phase, but he was still shaking so badly.

"How could you do that, Quil? You know how much I loved her, how much I still do. How could you sleep with her like that? How could you just use her like that and add another notch to your bed post?"

"It wasn't like that!" I yelled before Quil could cut me off. Jacob's hateful eyes turned on me. "I kissed him, and I'm the one that started-"

"Bella-" Quil started.

"No, Quil, you won't protect me. He deserves the truth." I turned back to Jacob. "I kissed Quil. I initiated the sex. I was hurt, Jake. I was hurting like I'd never hurt before. It was worse than when Edward left. You promised me forever, and you broke that promise. I know you didn't want to, but you did. And I needed to forget, I needed to feel wanted. Quil didn't use me, I used him. Whether he thinks so or not, it's the truth."

"Why _him_, Bella?" Jacob sounded crushed and betrayed.

"He was there, and he was my friend. He was someone I trusted, someone that cared. I'm sorry that this hurts you, but it's in the past. And you have your imprint."

"But I wanted you!"

"Well, you can't have me anymore. Apparently I was never yours to begin with."

"Quil," Jacob said lowly.

"Yeah, Jake?" Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You've always liked her haven't you?"

"Yes."

"This is the reason behind your changes."

"Yes. If Bella ever came back, I wanted to be someone that she would be proud of, that she would- that she would consider being with."

"She wouldn't do that. Not after me."

"I know. Still, I had to try and now I have to be a better person for this baby."

"This baby better not be yours, or you won't be having anymore, ever."

"Jacob, do you really think it would be better for her to be yours?"

"Yes! Yes, I do."

"Why, so it could pain Bella every time she has to drop her daughter off at your house that you'll share with your imprint. So, that every time she looks at her daughter, she's reminded of the man that broke her heart, that broke every promise he made to her. I don't think so. I have to disagree with you."

"I could be with Bella." Jacob seemed pained just saying it. I knew it was the imprint working.

"You can barely say it, Jake, you'd never be able to do it. The imprint is too strong, man. It would only hurt Bella if the baby was yours. Would you really want that for either of them?"

"Just shut up! Shut the fuck up, Quil. You don't know anything. You certainly don't know anything about loyalty, you little fucker. God, I hate you. I want you to-" he was cut off by his phasing.

"Oh, God!" I screamed.

"Shit! Get back, Bella!" Quil yelled as he took a defensive crouch and started to shake himself. I quickly started to back up, only to trip over something and fall. I felt the pain at the back of my head and then nothing.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Dun, dun, dun…Sorry for the cliff hanger, but I couldn't resist. I was going to stop at Jacob roaring 'What?' but I gave you a little more. And because I love you all so much, I'll do the thing with the sneak peek again. You review, you get a glimpse into the next chapter. Oh and by the way, chapter size will probably go back down to between 1,000 and 2,000 words after this one unless it's something special.


	11. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! I know I said not to expect an update until Saturday, but I finished this chapter on a break from studying and I took my last exam lof the semester last night. That made me very happy and I decided to make you all very happy too with an update.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously…

"_Just shut up! Shut the fuck up, Quil. You don't know anything. You certainly don't know anything about loyalty, you little fucker. God, I hate you. I want you to-" he was cut off by his phasing._

"_Oh, God!" I screamed._

"_Shit! Get back, Bella!" Quil yelled as he took a defensive crouch and started to shake himself. I quickly started to back up, only to trip over something and fall. I felt the pain at the back of my head and then nothing._

_

* * *

_

I became semi-conscious, wondering what happened. I couldn't open my eyes or move any part of my body, but I could think and hear. It felt weird. I started to focus on the noise around me. I heard growls. _Oh God, are they still fighting? Is someone hurt?_

"Would the two of you, shut the fuck up?" _Leah? When did she get here?_ It sounded like she was in front of me.

"He started it," said a voice from my right.

"Really, Jacob? You sound like a freaking first grader. Grow up. God, how are either of you going to raise a baby?"

"Why are you even here, Leah?" Jacob snarled.

"Someone has to look out for Bella's best interest."

"I can do that just fine," I heard a new voice say. _Quil._ He was on my left from what I could tell. That was when I could feel the warmth around each of my hands. Each of the boys had one of my hands and yet they still continued to banter.

"Yeah, I can see that," Leah responded sarcastically.

"If someone would have kept their shape, she would be fine."

"If someone kept it in his damn pants, she would be fine."

"Oh shut up, Jake. Why don't you go on home to Katie? I'll take care of Bella and the baby."

"Bella and the baby are more important right now. I'm staying. So, shut the fuck up. Or I swear I'll rip you to pieces."

"Bring it on, Jacob."

"Is that a challenge, Quil?"

"Why don't you find out?" _What have I done? I've totally ruined their friendship. They're family and they hate each other and it's my entire fault._

"Shut up, both of you or get the fuck out. You two may hate each other right now, but you need to at least be civil to one another when Bella is around. You heard the doctor. Stress is bad, very bad for her. Another incident like yesterday and you won't have to worry who the daddy is, because there won't be a baby." _Oh, God, my baby girl. I can't lose her. God, I wish I could wake up and find out what's wrong. And what did she mean yesterday? How long have I been out? It only felt like a small bit._

"Don't say things like that, Leah. Bella and the baby will be fine." I could feel him rubbing circles with his thumb on my hand.

"Quil, she almost lost the baby yesterday, it could happen for real if she goes through what she did yesterday again. No stress, period. None, her body can't take it. The baby is still much too small to be born. Her survival rate would be very low." _That can't happen; I wouldn't survive losing my daughter._

"She's got wolf blood in her, she's strong. She'd make it."

"Jacob, why would you even want to risk it?"

"I wouldn't, I'm just saying."

"Well, how about you both say that you'll behave from now on. For Bella, and for that baby that could be either of yours. Geez, this has been a weird fucking past two days. I can't believe you're the other father, Quil."

"Neither can I," Jacob growled out. Quil growled in return. But it was Leah who responded.

"Shut it, Jake. There's nothing to be done about it. You imprinted, Bella and Quil made a decision, and now you all have to deal with the consequences of what has happened. But that baby is completely innocent and doesn't need for anyone to take it out on her." It was silent for a minute, and then my right hand felt cold.

"I need some air. I'm going outside and grabbing a snack. I'll be back in a few. Leah, will you come get me if anything happens?"

"Sure, Jake," she answered softly.

"Thanks," he said and soon I heard the door click.

"So, you and Bella, huh? Never saw that one coming."

"No, Bella doesn't want to be with me, Leah. And I don't blame her. I would probably only hurt her like Jake did. But I'm so selfish that I want her anyway, especially now with the baby. I want that little girl to have a complete family, a mom and dad that love her and love each other. Even if she's not mine, she deserves that. Bella deserves that." I heard Quil and Leah both sigh.

"Quil, be honest, do you love Bella?" _I don't want to hear this. I am not meant to hear this. I shouldn't hear this._

"Yes."

"Are you _in love_ with Bella?" _Just shut up, Leah._

"Yes."

"When did you know? Because I sure as hell never heard those thoughts in your head before. And I know Jacob didn't either, or you would have been ripped to pieces as soon as that thought slipped."

"I've always like Bella. I just didn't think about. I ignored it completely, even before phasing. I knew Jake liked her, that he'd been in love with her since we were kids. He's my best friend, my cousin, I didn't want to mess that up for a girl. So, even after going wolf, I never thought about it. But I phased and then her and Jake started dating and so she was around the pack all the time. I never acknowledged the feelings, but apparently they were still there and they were growing without permission. She was just so great. She's pretty beyond belief, sweet, caring, and even if she doesn't think so, she's selfless like no one else I've met. Not to mention she's smart and a great cook. She has a good sense of humor and besides the classical stuff, a great taste in music."

"Okay, okay, I get that you liked her because she was so great. But when did you realize those feelings?"

"I was getting to that, Miss Impatient. As I was saying, the feelings were there, just ignored. At least until they all snuck up on me at once. I found her lying and crying in the woods. She asked me take the pain away, to make her forget Jacob. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help any way I could, I just didn't know how. So I asked her and she kissed me. It took me a second to realize what was happening but I did and I kissed her back. In that kiss all those locked up emotions became loose. I'd never wanted someone so much and I don't just mean physically for sex. I wanted to be with her, to love her, to be the one she loved. I took her back to my house. Without the details, I pleasured her, and I thought that would be it. But she wanted more and I wasn't one to deny her at that point. It was like she fit me like a glove. It was perfect. I've never felt the way I did when I was connected to her. I know I didn't, but in that moment I swear it was like I imprinted. It was like we were that connected, that bond together. Anyway, I woke up from the best night's sleep I'd ever had. I opened my eyes to take her in, to tell her how much the night had meant to me, how it had changed me. I didn't want other girls. I just wanted Bella from that point on. I woke up knowing that I didn't have a crush on Bella anymore, I was in love with her. But she wasn't there. And I swore that I would become someone she could love if she ever came back."

"Quil, you asked Jacob if you would want her to be in pain, would you?"

"No! But I can't help it, Leah. I just feel like we should be together, even without an imprint."

"Don't you think if that were true, you would have imprinted on her? If our ancestors deemed her yours forever, that they would have formed that bond the first time you saw her after phasing?"

"I told you, I can't explain it. I just feel it. Don't worry, I don't think she'll ever give me that chance anyway. She's been hurt too many times, and she won't risk it again, especially with the baby coming." Silence fell upon them for a little while. I was really wishing I could wake up fully. "None of it matters though. This baby girl is what matters most. And I intend to make sure she gets everything she ever wants or needs. I don't care if she's mine biologically. In my heart she is my daughter and I'll take care of her always."

"Bella's lucky the other guy is you, Quil. I hope she's yours. I think it would be best for everyone. Jacob included even if he doesn't see it. You've really have changed over the last six months, Quil. Everyone's noticed it and we've all wondered why. I know that everyone is really impressed. Sam is really proud of the way you've matured and taken on extra patrols and responsibility. I know that Old Quil is too. You can see it in his eyes at the bonfires."

"It's all for her. And now it will all be for the baby. Leah, I already love her so much. I didn't know you could love someone you've never met so much. I'll love her even if she's not mine, but God, I want her to be. I want her so much, I want to hold her, and kiss her, and rock her to sleep. I want to watch her first steps and hear her first words. I want to drop her off at kindergarten on her first day and teach her to drive. I want to chase off those horny boys. I know every trick in the book, so they won't be touching my little princess. I want to walk her down the aisle and give her away to a boy that I strongly approve of. I have to admit, it'll hurt if she's not mine. I never in my life would have thought that I would be praying that a condom I used failed." I heard them both laugh lightly. I felt my mind getting foggy.

"It will all turn out okay, Quil. We have to believe that. Everything happens for a reason, right?"

"God, I hope so," was the last thing I heard before falling back into the darkness.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Bella heard a lot she wasn't supposed to. You'll get to hear what Jacob is thinking about everything in the next chapter. But it will still be from Bella's POV. I was considering doing to bonus chapters one from Quil's POV and one from Jacob's POV. Each would tell what they've been thinking from the time of Jacob's imprint, maybe even a little before, up until where ever I am in the story at the point when i write them. Let me know what you think? Would you want to hear from Quil and Jacob??

Also, if you read my other stories, I promise I will be updating Waiting in the Sunlight and My Perfect Match by Saturday.


	12. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** Thank you all so much for the reviews! I especially loved to hear that **liljenrocks** woke up just read the last chapter after hear phone alerted her to the update. And also that it felt like Christmas came early for **sirwayde. **I was also happy to hear that so many of you are in love with my Quil. But he is just that, **my** Quil, so back off. Just kidding, but maybe not. Also, look out for a new story that is not really a new story. I am going to upload all the outtakes that I write from Quil and Jacob's POVs from this story into their own sub-story. I put the first chapter up today, it's called **Learning to Love Bella**. Check it out!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously on Learning to Live Again…

"_I have to admit, it'll hurt if she's not mine. I never in my life would have thought that I would be praying that a condom I used failed." I heard them both laugh lightly. I felt my mind getting foggy._

"_It will all turn out okay, Quil. We have to believe that. Everything happens for a reason, right?"_

"_God, I hope so," was the last thing I heard before falling back into the darkness._

* * *

I felt myself waking up, but I wasn't sure how long it had been since my previous semi-consciousness. I kept my eyes closed and listened to the sounds around me. I heard steady breathing on one side and snores on the other. The only other noise was from the annoying machine next to me. My eyes fluttered open and I saw Quil's face break out in relief.

"Bella," he breathed out.

"Hey," I croaked. He quickly moved to get me a glass of water. I drank it greedily, while seeing Jacob asleep with his head resting on my bed.

"Do you need anything, Bella?"

"I want to talk to you, Quil, but can I get a minute with Jacob first." He looked a little hurt, but he smiled anyway.

"Sure, I'll just go grab something to eat in the café down stairs. Do you want me to bring you anything up?"

"Can you bring sugar cookies?"

"Yeah, I think I can handle that. I'll see you in a bit," he said bending down and leaving a kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks, Quil." He nodded and walked out the door. I looked over at Jacob who was still sleeping. I wondered how much sleep the two of them had gotten since I went into the hospital. Clearly, Leah's threats have worked to keep them civil. I moved my hand and ran it through Jacob's shaggy hair. He sighed, and I moved down to his arm.

"Jake, Jacob, wake up. I want to talk to you," I said quietly.

"Hmm," he said as he muttered some unintelligible words.

"Jake, I'm fixing cherry pie."

"What?" He said opening one eye. Once he realized I was awake both eyes opened widely. "Bells, thank God. I knew you were stubborn but jeez, I didn't think you'd ever wake up," he said smiling at me.

"Yeah, sorry about that."

"Why do you always apologize for everything, Bella? I should be the one saying I'm sorry. Which I am, by the way, it's my fault you're here. I just got so freaking angry, that I couldn't hold it in."

"I understand, Jake, I do. I know it was quite the shock. That wasn't how I wanted you to find out."

"Yeah, well…" Jacob sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I can't understand what you were thinking that night, Bells. I mean, I would have fought for you, I did fight for you. Why did you have to run off like that? Why did you have to sleep with Quil, or anyone for that matter? Why couldn't you have more faith in me, Bells? Why'd you give up on us so easy?" He looked so sad and vulnerable.

"I left because I thought it was for the best for everyone, especially for my self. You would have been torn in two, Jacob. I knew you would fight for me, but you'd have lost that battle and it would have hurt more for the both of us. I knew if I waited and heard all the words you would have spoken then I wouldn't have gotten on that plane and left. I needed to leave quickly and without a fuss. I didn't give up on us, Jake. I just accepted that it wasn't meant to be, just like you need to do."

"And Quil? Why did you do that with Quil?"

"Um, I was selfish and hurt. It seemed like the only thing to do at the time. I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted to temporarily forget about you, and I wanted to still feel wanted. Quil was there when I needed someone to comfort me. I trusted Quil, he was my friend, one of my closest on the res. I loved him even if it was as a friend. I didn't want to give myself over to just anyone. And I know to choose someone from the pack was just cruel of me. He's your cousin and your pack brother and you share a mind link. Which, I guess is lucky that he worked that part out for us. I don't know what else to say, except that in the moment that it was what I needed to feel something other than pain. I'm sorry." He was quiet for a few minutes. I left him to digest everything. I was looking at baby bump when he started to talk softly.

"Sometimes I look at Katie and wished that she never came to La Push. Of course as soon as the thought crosses my mind I get a pain in my heart, like I just stabbed myself. I can't help but think of the 'what if's'. I mean if that's my baby and she never came, then we would be celebrating each milestone and probably getting married soon, or at least getting engaged. We would be starting the life I dreamed of with you. And now it's all fucked up to shit. I don't have you, that might not be my baby, and my fucking best friend is the other possible father. Life fucking sucks. Why does everything in my life get so screwed up? I had just gotten everything that I'd ever wanted, and literally the next day it was all ripped away."

"I don't know, Jake. You're right, it does suck. Life's not fair; it doesn't ask us what we want. But you know, Jacob, that even if she is your baby that we still won't be together."

"But why not? She deserves a family and I want to be that family with you," he was slightly whining.

"You know you can't be away from your imprint, Jake. It doesn't work like that."

"Is it wrong to wish I could have both of you?"

"Normally I would say yes it's wrong to any other guy, but because of imprinting, I'd say that it isn't."

"And the worst part is, Sam told me not to pursue a relationship with you repeatedly, so did Dad. But I was so damn selfish, and I was convinced that you were it for me, that I didn't listen. I hurt us both because of my stupidity and selfishness."

"I knew it was a possibility, Jake. We were both selfish. You were my sun, and I didn't want to give you up either. You can't take all the blame." We were both silent for a few more minutes. "Does your imprint know about the baby?" I knew her name. How could I forget the name of the girl that robbed me of my future? I just refused to say it outloud, or think it for that matter.

"Nah, not yet. I wanted to talk to you again before I did. Just to clear things up and find out the details. Like when is she coming and what needs to be done before then? I guess I see that we can't be together. I still hate it, though. I know that the fates think I belong with Katie, and I don't really get a choice. But I still want to be there for you and the baby. I don't want Quil doing it all. I deserve to get to do stuff, too. I just don't really know anything about babies and I'm not sure what those things are."

"It's okay, I'm still learning, too. We'll work something else. I was going back to Florida, but I have a feeling that I'm stuck here."

"Yeah, the doctor said you can't fly and that you are on bed rest for the next week, maybe longer depending on how your check up goes at the end of the week." I sighed heavily. I wasn't returning to the life I'd manage to build in Florida and I really wasn't looking forward to bed rest. I got bored way too easily for that.

"Well, that doesn't sound fun."

"Trust me, I think there are plenty of people to keep you company and entertained."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, well, the whole pack sort of knows that you're pregnant with mine or Quil's child. You know Sam was already phased when I attacked Quil. Sam stopped it before anything happened. Well, you already managed to trip over those two things you call feet, but I didn't get a chance to tear out any of Quil's hide."

"Jacob!"

"What? Technically we weren't broken up, and he slept with you. He deserves a good ass kicking."

"I think me telling you good-bye was our break up."

"Yeah, but I didn't get any say so in it."

"Well, now what done is done. We can only focus on the future," I said rubbing my belly.

"Sure, sure. Anyway, so the pack knows, which means all the imprints, well except for Katie, know. Emily and Kim are ready to pounce on you and plan the baby shower. Emily wants to start trying, but Sam is freaked out at being a father."

"Well, they should soon, so that this little one can have someone to play with."

"Yeah, I'm sure that Emily will start using that argument." He paused and looked at the door. "Quil and Leah are outside the door eavesdropping."

"We aren't eavesdropping you ass wipe," I heard Leah yell. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"You guys might as well come in," Jake said. The door opened and Leah strutted right in placing a kiss on my cheek and sitting by the window. Quil walked in slowly, looked back and forth between Jacob and I before sitting down on my other side. He handed me a large stack of freshly baked sugar cookies. Leah informed me that she walked into the café to hear a complaining Quil, because they only had chocolate chip cookies baked. After some yelling and begging, the chef agreed to make some just to get rid of Quil. I had to admit, they were the best sugar cookies that I'd ever had. Crunchy on the edges and gooey in the middle. Absolutely perfect. While I munched on my cookies, they also, filled me in on what was going on with the pack and what the doctor had said about the baby and me. I didn't bother to tell them that I had heard most of it while I was semi-conscious before. I would keep the knowledge of that conversation to myself.


	13. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** I really appreciate all the wonderful reviews. You guys rock!!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously on Learning to Live Again …

_They filled me in on what was going on with the pack and what the doctor had said about the baby and me. I didn't bother to tell them that I had heard most of it while I was semi-conscious before. I would keep that conversation to myself._

* * *

The next morning the doctor came in to release me from the hospital and answer any questions.

"Um, doc, I was wondering if there was any way to tell the paternity, you know before the baby is born?" Jacob said to the doctor. It was a good question and I didn't know why I didn't think of it before.

"Well, there are two common ways to do that, Chorionic Villus Sampling and Amniocentesis. But CVS has to be done by the twelfth week and amniocentesis can not be done after week twenty of a pregnancy. Bella is about to enter her twenty-fourth week, so there is no long any option for running a paternity test. I'm sorry but you will have to wait until after the baby arrives.

"Oh, okay."

"That is unless the due date can be used to determine the time of conception," the doctor added.

"Meaning?" Quil asked.

"Well, according to her due date she would have conceived the baby around August 10."

"Oh, that doesn't really help us," Quil said somberly while looking out the window.

"Nope, it sure as hell doesn't." Jacob said while glowering at Quil. Quil turned around to look at Jacob.

"Don't start, Jake. Not here, not with Bella. I told you to take up your issues with me alone." Jacob just rolled his eyes.

"Who the hell are you, Quil?"

"What are talking about?"

"You. You aren't my cousin or best friend, and you certainly aren't the guy that I grew up with."

"I changed, Jake. I grew up."

"And I didn't?"

"No, you haven't. You've been sitting in a pity party for yourself for the past six months. I know that you love Bella, but you can't have her, it's not what was meant to be. Acting like you are is only going to make things harder and worse for everyone involved. Just accept what's happened and try and make things as easy as possible for Bella. She doesn't need your shit or your poor you attitude. You aren't the most important person in this room. Get over yourself." It was quiet, except for Jake's hard breathing. After a minute or two, Jacob turned away from Quil to look at me. His face softened.

"I'm sorry for any extra crap I've put on you, Bella. I'll try harder."

"Okay, Jake."

The doctor looked a little uncomfortable with our unusual situation. He slipped out of the room while Quil and Jacob had their exchange. A few minutes later a nurse came in to finish my discharge paperwork. I was released from the hospital and went back to Charlie and Sue's house. This was only after spending fifteen minutes in the parking lot arguing over where I would be going. Quil wanted me at his house and Jacob wanted me to stay at his. Charlie pulled up in the cruiser. I'd called him earlier to let him know when I would be released. It took a stern look from Charlie to shut them both up. A bullet may not have killed them, but one would sure as hell could hurt them.

Charlie insisted that I come home alone. Neither Jacob nor Quil liked that idea. They both followed us to the house, but Charlie said they needed to leave once I got settled in. I suggested that Jacob go talk to his imprint before she heard from one of the other pack members. I could tell he knew it was the right thing, but felt conflicted about leaving me. He grudgingly agreed that I was right and left. Quil was a little harder to convince.

"I just want to take care of you," he said with puppy eyes.

"And you have in the past day or so, but you should go home, get some rest. You have school in the morning. Plus, you still have pack responsibilities and the store. You can't abandon the rest of your life, because I'm back. You know I'm not going anywhere now. You can come see me _after_ school."

"Bella, I told you that I would get my GED. And Sam understands, and so will my grandfather and mother."

"One, you are going to school until you get that GED. And two, Quil! Your mom and grandfather don't know?"

"Well, no, I haven't left the hospital since you were admitted. I'll tell them tonight."

"You should, Quil. Though I hope your grandfather doesn't hate me more than he already does."

"He doesn't hate you." I gave Quil a look. "Okay, so you're not his favorite person in the world. He thinks you should have left Jacob alone, but that doesn't matter any more. Jacob has his imprint and you are carrying pack baby. So, no matter what, you are a part of this pack now."

"Yeah, well, still good luck with telling him." Quil let out a loud breath.

"Bella, I don't care what anyone thinks. I wish you wouldn't either."

"It's hard when you know that you're responsible for tearing things apart."

"Jake and I will get over this eventually, I'm sure. It's just going to take some time. And the pack for the most part is just happy that you are okay and they're excited for a baby."

"I guess." I heard a throat being cleared from the kitchen. "You better head out before Charlie helps you out."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not on his favorite person list either. I'll be back as soon as that last bell rings."

"Okay," I said not really wanting him to leave.

"I'll see you both tomorrow." He gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Good night, Bella." He bent down to put a kiss on my tummy. "Good night, baby."

"Good night, Quil." He gave me a small smile before heading out the door. Now I was alone with Charlie. _Here comes the talk. _I heard his footsteps enter the living room.

"Bells," he sighed.

"Yeah, Dad."

"Quil? Quil Aterra? I mean, I just don't get it. Why, Bella? Did you do it to hurt, Jacob?"

"No! I did it because I was hurting and Quil found me crying. He was comforting me and things went a little far."

"A little far? That boy may have impregnated you. I think that is past a_ little _far. Did he take advantage of you, Bella?"

"What? No! Not at all, I was the one that pushed things. Quil didn't do anything wrong." Charlie simply snorted in response. "I know that I've made a mess of things. This isn't how I would have planned to bring a child into the world, trust me. But she's coming and I love her and I can't regret anything that happened."

"I'm glad that you are being so responsible about everything, and I can't believe how well those boys are taking it, especially Quil. I'm just in a bit of shock is all. I'm sorry if I said anything upsetting. I just want what is best for you, Bells, and for the baby."

"I know, Dad."

"Well, alright. I'm going to head into the station for a bit. Sue should be home in an hour. Do you need anything before I go?"

"Nope, we're good."

"Okay, I'll see you for dinner. Leah and Seth are coming over."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yep, Leah really seems to want to help you."

"Yeah, I think we just got off on the wrong foot before. I can see us being very good friends in the near future."

"We'll that's good, because I'm thinking of asking Sue to marry me."

"What? Really, that's great, Dad. I really like Sue. It will be nice to have a pair of siblings, especially Leah and Seth. I've always wanted a little brother and I don't think I could get a better one than Seth."

"Yeah, they're good kids. I'm glad to hear that you like the idea. Well, I better get going if I want to get back in time to eat. Those two kids will start to eat without you if you're late."

"I bet they do."

"Later, Bells."

"Later, Dad."

* * *

**Author's Note:** If you haven't checked it out, the first chapter of the outtakes to this story is up. The story is called: Learning to Love Bella. Updates will probably be irregular since it isn't one of my main stories, so be sure to put it on alert. I'll write new chapters as I have time and breaks away from my other stories. I'll have chapter two up sometime later this week. Go check it out.


	14. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** Thank you for the reviews! Remember if you haven't checked out the companion story to this, _Learning to Love Bella_, you should go after read and review this chapter. The first two chapters are up, so you can get a glimpse of both Jacob and Quil's POVs.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously on Learning to Live Again…

"_Well, alright. I'm going to head into the station for a bit. Sue should be home in an hour. Do you need anything before I go?"_

"_Nope, we're good."_

"_Okay, I'll see you for dinner. Leah and Seth are coming over."_

"_Oh, that's nice."_

"_Yep, Leah really seems to want to help you."_

"_Yeah, I think we just got off on the wrong foot before. I can see us being very good friends in the near future."_

"_We'll that's good, because I'm thinking of asking Sue to marry me."_

"_What? Really, that's great, Dad. I really like Sue. It will be nice to have a pair of siblings, especially Leah and Seth. I've always wanted a little brother and I don't think I could get a better one than Seth."_

"_Yeah, they're good kids. I'm glad to hear that you like the idea. Well, I better get going if I want to get back in time to eat. Those two kids will eat without you."_

"_I bet they do."_

"_Later, Bells."_

"_Later, Dad."_

_

* * *

_

Soon enough, Sue came home. I tried to help with dinner but apparently everyone was made well aware of my bed rest status. Sue started muttering about getting on to Charlie about not making me go to my room and rest before he left. Sue agreed to let me sit in the kitchen if I propped my feet up on a chair.

"So, I guess you know who daddy number two is, now?"

"Yes, Charlie told me after he figured it out from Jacob and Quil's bickering in the waiting room." I nodded. I was sort of hoping that she would elaborate more on what she was thinking.

"So…" She stopped chopping the carrots in front of her and turned to look at me.

"So, I know you were going through a very traumatic experience and it is natural to find comfort in someone else. Do I think it was a good idea? No, but in the moment, no one can fault you or Quil. Besides, what's done is done and we all need to move on. As for whom I think would be the better father, I would have to say Quil. Jacob has other responsibilities to the tribe and having a baby with a woman not his imprint would greatly hurt him. He needs to be whole and not divided as he would if you shared a daughter with him. We all know that he will always care for you strongly, but sadly, you are not who he will need in the future. He will become Alpha eventually, and Katie was deemed the person that would be needed by his side. Quil on the other hand does not hold such responsibility and may or may not imprint in the future. Even if he does imprint, then the child will already be in his life and it will be easier for an imprint to accept his daughter. Do I suggest that you and Quil begin a relationship? Most certainly not. No one wants to see history happen again, particularly with the same girl, twice. Having you in the pack's life has made things a bit more complicated and maybe more dangerous, but everyone still cares for and wishes you only the best, Bella. This child will be half Quileute and a child of a wolf, which in turn makes you both members of the tribe. We look out for our own."

"Are we still having a meeting with the Elders like Old Quil mentioned to me the other day?"

"We are meeting tomorrow. At this time, I am the only Elder to know about Quil."

"Am I attending?"

"Not tomorrow. We decided that we should discuss things with Jacob first. But now with this new development we'll have the meeting with Quil as well. I called him on the way home and he'll be there. I'm sure when he shows up, everyone else will be just as surprised, but all things will be talked through. We only want what is best for the pack and the baby. And if anything else needs to be discussed, then we'll meet again after you are off bed rest."

"Okay," I said. Sue was an honest woman and I knew that she only spoke the truth. I felt slightly better after hearing that entire bit she had to say. Quil and she both had suggested that he was the better candidate. I really had to agree. As much as it might be nice to have a piece of Jacob forever, I knew the pain would overshadow the joy.

* * *

A couple of hours later the five of us were sitting down to dinner. It was the first time that I really felt part of an actual family that was my own. When I was with the Cullen's or the pack, I felt included in _a_ family, but not _my own_ family. I would be very happy when Sue and Charlie got married. He deserved someone after so long, and Sue was not nearly old enough to stay a widow for the rest of her life. Seth had us laughing the entire night and Leah sent me encouraging smiles every once in a while. Sitting there eating roast with veggies, I knew this, Forks and La Push, was where I wanted my daughter to be raised whatever the outcome. She deserved this life, this family. It might prove to be some hard times for me, but she would never know them herself. She would only feel the love that illuminates from this great place.

After dinner, Leah helped me up to my room and stayed for some girl chat. We were talking about her failed attempt to date in the last month when she abruptly changed the focus of the conversation.

"So, who was better? Quil or Jacob?" She asked wiggling her eyebrows.

"Leah!" I couldn't believe she just asked that.

"What? I've seen glimpses of your night with Jake, it was…interesting. But no one has seen any part your time with Quil." I seriously didn't want to think about anyone seeing me having sex with anyone. Jacob and I had a good ending, but the beginning was a bit awkward and probably not fun to watch. Two virgins shouldn't be expected to provide porn quality sex for a pack of boys and one girl to watch.

"Well, I'm sorry that Jacob and I didn't provide better entertainment."

"Oh, come on, Bella. You were both new to the act. So, that makes me very curious of your night with Quil. We all know he's experienced, so just admit it, it was way better the second go around."

"I am pleading the fifth."

"Except that doesn't work here. I'm not asking you to admit to a crime you committed yourself, I'm asking for an opinion of who was better."

"Well, you are not going to get it."

"Fine, party pooper." We were both quiet for a minute before Leah started back up the questioning. "Whose do you think she is? Or at least whose do you want her to be?" I took a deep breath before answering.

"Your guess is as good as mine. One part of me, the selfish, masochistic part of me wants her to be Jacob's. I would get to keep a part of him with me even though I lost him. She would forever keep him in my life. I think Jacob wants her for the same reasons. She would be a little bit of both of us, of the future that we did want and we did plan on having. But the other part of me recognizes how bad things would be. Always seeing him with his imprint, which I will anyway, but knowing that we share a child and still he is with Katie would be so much worse. I know Quil will be a great dad. He's already proved to me how much he's matured and changed."

"And it was for you, Bella."

"I know that."

"That has to count for something."

"What are you saying, Leah?"

"I don't know, I really don't. I don't think you should just start dating him because he could be the father of your daughter, but at the same time, I see the love and devotion he has for you and that baby and I say why not. Trust me when I say that I never thought I would be saying to give a wolf that hasn't imprinted on you a shot, but I think Quil would be really good for you, Bella."

"Leah, what happens when he imprints? I'll be broken again. I don't need that. I can't do that and stay strong for my daughter. Two complete heartbreaks is two too many if you ask me."

"I know, I know. I just think there's something there and I don't know what, but I had to voice my opinions. Even if you don't actually date him, I think you should open your life up to Quil. I think he could really be a great help, not just for the baby, but for you, too."

"I guess. He does seem very enthusiastic about helping me. I just wish they were both older. They're too young to be going through this."

"Bella, they change into giant, furry wolves in their spare time that hunt and kill real vampires. Changing diapers should be a cinch." I had to laugh at that. I guess they both had already had to grow up.

"How bad do you think changing a diaper is with wolf advanced smelling?" Leah's face scrunched up in disgust.

"Oh God, I didn't think of that. Maybe changing a diaper would be worse than going after a leech. I think we'll leave the stinky diapers to you smelling impaired humans. Mom loves babies, I'll hand the little one off to her every time a problem such as a poopy diaper arises."

"Thanks, Leah."

"Not a problem, Bella."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So, Leah thinks that Bella should open up to Quil, do you? Also, I made a new poll concerning this story. It has to do with the future of Quil and Bella. So, if you want some say in the happy ending, check it out on my profile.

Also, here is the link to the companion piece:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5578763/1/Learning_to_Love_Bella


	15. Chapter 14

**Author's Note:** So some of you liked that Sue was honest, while others of you think she should have shut her trap. In Sue's defense, she was just being honest with Bella, which is what Bella needs. Anyway, thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts with me. I made this chapter longer than I originally planned to, because I knew that you all would want a little Quil time in here after having a chapter of no Quil before. So I continued on for you all, Merry Christmas eve!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

Previously on _Learning to Live Again_…

"_How bad do you think changing a diaper is with wolf advanced smelling?" Leah's face scrunched up in disgust._

"_Oh God, I didn't think of that. Maybe changing a diaper would be worse than going after a leech. I think we'll leave the stinky diapers to you smelling impaired humans. Mom loves babies, I'll hand the little one off to her every time a problem such as a poopy diaper arises."_

"_Thanks, Leah."_

"_Not a problem, Bella." _

* * *

I planned on spending the next morning alone, thinking. I actually spent the morning and afternoon with Emily, Kim, and Evelyn, Embry's imprint talking. It was actually pretty nice. I hadn't seen Emily or Kim since arriving back in Forks, and I'd already heard they were excited for the baby. Evelyn seemed nice, but I got the impression that she wasn't entirely comfortable being there. She remained pretty quiet most of the visit. They came over supplying my hungry, growing tummy with brunch. The huge chocolate muffins and milk really hit the spot. After they watched me eating my third muffin, I finally moved far enough away from the basket of goodies to actually participate in a conversation.

"So Emily I heard that you're trying to get Sam to start trying."

"Yeah, the wedding in three weeks, and I don't want to wait long before having a family. I don't want to be an old mom. I need to have them while I have the energy. I think I'm starting to make some lead way with Sam. His reasons used to be that our kids would be alone, with him being the oldest wolf by a few years. But now with you pregnant, and then with Kim and Jared getting married last this year, his reasons are disappearing."

"You want to start a family soon, too, Kim?"

"Well, maybe not the first year we're married, but pretty soon after it. I don't think Jared will put much of a fight up if there are already pack children. Plus, he loves kids, he absolutely adores his younger sister."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that she won't be alone for too long. What about you, Evelyn? I know that you're still in school, as is Embry, but have you two talked about it?" I was really asking out of politeness. She had been a little cold to me since walking in the door and I wasn't sure why. Honestly, I didn't know why she was there.

"Sure, but we're not in a rush by any means. Besides, Katie and I plan on having our children close to one another." As soon as she spoke Jacob's imprint's name, I knew. I knew why she didn't like me. She was Katie's friend and I was the enemy. Thinking about it, it made sense. They were both the newest of the imprints, while the others had known each other for almost two years. Plus, Embry and Jacob were best friends, so it only made sense that their imprints would share a special friendship as well.

"That's nice," I said at a loss of words. Well, not really a loss, I had lots of words, none pleasant, but I kept them to myself. I knew I could probably blame it on the pregnancy hormones later, but I was older that Evelyn and I would act it. I would take the high road as much as I hated it.

"So what names are you considering, Bella?" Emily cut in. She was always the peace keeper of the boys; I guess she would do the same for girls, too. I looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I don't know," I said sighing.

"You only have three more months, you must have at least a few names picked out," Kim said smiling.

"Nope, not a one."

"Bella," Emily sighed, "why not?"

"I just don't feel that it should be my decision alone." Emily looked at me with understanding eyes. "I don't know what's going to happen with her name. The doctor said it could take the lab a few days to do the paternity test after she's born. In the mean time, she has to have a name. I don't know what to do." I said miserably.

"You should leave, and go back to wherever you were," Evelyn said coolly.

"Evelyn," Emily scolded.

"What? It's hurt fault for opening her legs to two different guys in like less than twenty-four hours. Now she's ruining the lives of a lot of people." Her words hurt, because they were true.

"Evie, maybe you should go wait in the car. We'll be out shortly," Emily said handing the young girl keys. Evelyn glared at me momentarily before snatching the keys and storming outside. "Ignore her, Bella. She's become best friends with Katie, since they're the same age. She's has a bit of a temper, too. Not sure how she got matched with calm and collected Embry, but that's imprinting for you."

"Yeah, imprinting, not so much for me," I grumbled.

"Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

"What does the pack really think of me, Emily?" She looked taken by surprise. Leah and Seth would never tell me the full truth, they both wanted to protect me, I could tell. And Quil wouldn't say a bad word to be, afraid that the stress would hurt me or the baby.

"Well," she started slowly looking at Kim, who shrugged giving me a worried glance. "Quil, sort of asked us not to say anything that could upset you, you know, with you being on bed rest and all."

"It's that bad, then?"

"Not everyone, not even most. It's just a confusing time for the pack. Everyone seems to have picked a side."

"A side? Like me or Katie?" I was confused.

"No, like Quil or Jacob."

"What? Why?"

"Some think what Quil did was wrong and agree with Jacob that some kind of punishment is needed."

"Punishment? For what? I know it's against pack law to mess with a pack member's imprint, but I'm clearly not his imprint or else none of this mess would have happened in the first place."

"Yes, well, that is technically true. But you were still considered Jacob's mate, and Quil broke that."

"Quil didn't break that, the imprinting did, I did after I saw the imprinting. Quil did nothing wrong."

"Not everyone sees it that way," Kim said.

"Who doesn't? Who doesn't see that Quil is the innocent one? _I _used _him. _If anyone should be punished, it's me."

"I really don't want to say who, Bella. Just focus on the ones that think while Quil maybe should have comforted you in a less physically way, think that he broke no rule or law, and deserves no punishment. A couple even think it was good for Quil, what happened."

"They do?" I mean, I knew that maybe Leah felt that way, but I didn't think anyone else would.

"Yeah, sure, he's turned his life completely around because of you and that night. Quil has become a really great guy, not that he wasn't before, per say, but he's really got his stuff together now." I nodded in agreement. He was the same in personality, just more responsible and mature in his actions.

"Do you by chance know how Katie took the news? Jake was supposed to tell her yesterday."

"Not well I'm afraid to say. There was a lot of yelling from what I was told by Sam," Emily said.

"She doesn't want Jacob to see you, like at all, even if the baby is his," Kim went further. Again, I nodded my head. It was an expected reaction.

"You have to understand that she's pretty much lived in fear that you would return and that he would drop her in an instant for you. And for you to come back possibly carrying his child, it's frightening for her."

"I understand, really I do. I would probably feel the exact same way if the tables were turned. But she doesn't need to worry, Jacob won't leave her. Or at least I won't let him try. It wouldn't work, and then there would just be more heartbreak all around."

"That's very wise of you, Bella."

"Thanks, Emily, but selfishly, I just can't bear to lose him a second time."

"I know that you loved Jacob just as much as we imprints love our wolves, it must be incredibly hard to let go. To leave him like you did. Kim and I discussed it after you left, and we think you made the right decision for all parties involved. Jacob would have fought for you, we all know that. And I more than any other imprint would know that that isn't possible to be done. Some of the wolves thought you cowardly and selfish for leaving, but there's no way for them to truly understand. Kim and I can't even really understand the pain that you suffered. We got our happy ending with a guarantee of forever. I think only Leah could really have an idea of what you feel. But anyway, I'm rambling. The point is, is that you have people standing behind you, supporting you in whatever you choose to do." I could feel the tears slowly winding their way down my cheeks. I sniffed a little.

"Thanks, Emily, and you, too, Kim. It means a lot. I was pretty worried about coming back to Forks and everyone hating and ostracizing me."

"Never, Bella, you're forever a part of this pack. And don't you let _anyone_ tell you differently," Kim said fiercely. There was a beep from outside.

"Well, I guess we should get going. We'll be talk to you again soon, Bella," Emily said before taking me into a tight embrace.

"Bye, Bella," Kim said before bending down to give me a warm hug.

* * *

I spent the rest of the afternoon napping. I woke up and fixed myself a little snack. Then I started to look at the baby name book I bought months prior and never looked at. I was looking at the 'm' names when there was a knock at the door. I put the book down, pulled myself up, and walked over to the door. When I looked out the peep hole I saw Quil bouncing on his feet.

"Bella?" I looked over at the clock and saw that it was four o'clock. _Good, he listened and didn't come until after school._

"Bella, are you going to just stand there or are you going to open the door and let me in?" I rolled my eyes and opened the door. His face lit up and he immediately pulled me into a hug. "I missed you today." I had a feeling that he wasn't going to keep those kinds of thoughts to himself, even if I asked.

"You missed me from school, right?" It was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Yes, _mom_, I went to school. And then I had that council meeting, that's why I'm later than I planned on being here. How was your day? Sam mentioned that some of the girls were going to come by." He said while pulling me over to the couch. I didn't really want to talk about earlier with the girls.

"Yeah, they did. It was fine, but I'm more interested in that meeting. How did it go? What did they say?"

"Um, well, things were a bit tense. Jake wants some things to happen, but the council ultimately decided against them, so all is good."

"You mean the punishment he wanted you to be given." He looked at me questioningly. "Emily mentioned it. Reluctantly, might I add."

"Yeah, well, technically I didn't break any law, so he can't touch me."

"What else was said?"

"No matter what, you and the baby are to be taken care of. She's the priority of the council. My differences with Jacob don't matter in comparison. Sam will have us on different patrol times. Grandfather originally wasn't pleased with my decision to leave school and get my GED, but I think today changed his mind. Jake and I got in a fight in school. We have pretty much every class together, and seeing each other that much, really isn't a good thing at the moment. So the council agreed to support my decision as long as I take and pass the exam."

"How _did_ Old Quil and your mom take the news?"

"Yeah, not great, but not awful. My mom was happy with my improvements over the last six months, and was hoping that because of that, that I wouldn't find myself in a situation like this. She's not particularly proud that it's you, what with your past with Jacob. Not to say that she doesn't like you; it has nothing to do with you specifically, just that you're my best friend's ex. And he's the other possible father. It's all kind of a mess at the moment. She's worried about me. Grandfather didn't really say much, just that it changes things. Also, he sees that this could potentially be seen as a good thing. He was really worried what would happen after the baby was born if she was Jacob's. He doesn't believe that imprinting is solely for producing stronger wolves. He thinks that there's something more there, like that we imprint on a specific girl because they give us something we'll need at some point or another. So with Jacob eventually being Alpha, Katie must play some role there. That's his theory, there's no way to know the real reasoning. Anyway, if she's my baby, that would eliminate a lot of worry."

"That seems to be the common consensus."

"What that she should be mine?" I nodded. He looked like he wanted to say more, but was hesitant.

"Yes, Quil?"

"Is that what you think, too?"

"Yes, I think everything would be much easier if she was yours." I saw him smile from the corner of my eye.

"So what were you doing? Looking at baby names, you have any ideas of what you like?"

"Not really, nothing is really clicking. Plus, I don't really feel like it should just be mine to pick out."

"What, we both help you pick out a set of names and then after the results she gets named?"

"I don't know, Quil. That would mean that she wouldn't have a name for up to four days."

"Okay, so that doesn't sound good. So what do we do?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"No clue," I sighed.

"Well, don't worry too much about it, Bella. There's other things to focus on. Like what are you going to do when she comes?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you aren't going back to Florida, right?"

"No, I'm going to stay here where her family is." He let a long breath.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. So I actually talked to my mom for awhile last night, and she thinks she came up with an idea."

"What's that?" I asked worried.

"See, above the store is a storage area. It's actually pretty big, and we don't use it. We have a room behind the store that we use for extra inventory. Anyway, it just sits there empty, so maybe we could fix it up for you and the baby. That way the both of you are on the res with the pack, you know, no matter who the father is."

"That's too much, Quil. I couldn't impose on your family like that, especially if she doesn't turn out to be yours."

"Remember, I told you I was going to be there regardless. Please, Bella, I want to do this. If we get started now, it could probably be ready by the time she comes."

"I'd get a job and pay rent."

"No, you could just work at the store, that way you won't need daycare. Well, most likely, someone will always be willing to watch her between the pack and my mom, but if not, you can just bring her down stairs to work with you."

"Quil, no, I can find a job on my own."

"Bella, you can do it at least until you get settled or she gets older. It would be the perfect set up." I had to admit, it would be pretty convenient. Quil hadn't known that he could be facing fatherhood for a week and already he had a better grip on things and planning than I did in four months of knowing.

"You're too much, Quil," I said with a small smile.

"I'll just take that as a compliment. So is that a 'yes' and I can tell my mom."

"Let me think about it for a couple of days."

"Alright," he sighed. "You should know that my mom was already considering making the space into an apartment. So it wouldn't be any extra trouble."

"Okay. Anything else I should know about?"

"I talked to the counselor at school, and I take the exam in Port Angeles in three weeks. She thinks that my grades are high enough that I should pass without too much studying or extra effort."

"That's good."

"Yeah, and she says that if I want to walk with the rest of the graduating class in June, that I could. I don't know if I will, but it's nice to know that's open."

"Quil, you should do it. Me and the baby could come watch you."

"Really, you'd come?" He said looking excited and hopeful.

"Yeah, of course we'd come."

The rest of the evening Quil and I talked, and joked. He stayed for dinner, though Charlie wasn't as pleasant as he normal is to him. He kept me smiling the whole night and allowed no worries to stay with me for long. I didn't know it then, but he was starting to win over my heart. And only time would tell if he, too, would leave it broken.

* * *

**Author's Note: **

I have a favor to ask, particularly of my U.S. readers. Being from Jacksonville, Florida, I know a lot of military personnel between the many branches stationed locally. So in lieu of reviews for this chapter, I'm asking that you instead go to the website below and send a card thanking the troops overseas. Xerox sends them for free, all you have to do is take a minute of your time and pick out a card designed by a child, pick a pre-written message, or write a personalized message, and click send. You don't have to agree with the war, but you should support the troops that risk their lives on our behalves. Thanks!

http://www(dot)letssaythanks(dot)com/Home1280(dot)html

As for this story, I want to really thank those of you that voted in the poll. Sixty-two of you have voiced you opinion of how you want the end of this story to go. And two of the options are by far in the lead. If you haven't voted, you still have time. The poll will come down December 28th. I'm not going to announce the winning ending then, though, because that would ruin all my fun in writing and yours in reading. You will just have to keep with me to find out.


	16. Chapter 15

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those who sent cards to the troops. A special thanks to those you sent a card and still reviewed. You guys are awesome. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_Yeah, and she says that if I want to walk with the rest of the graduating class in June, that I could. I don't know if I will, but it's nice to know that's open."_

"_Quil, you should do it. Me and the baby could come watch you."_

"_Really, you'd come?"_

"_Yeah, of course we'd come." _

_The rest of the evening Quil and I talked, and joked. He stayed for dinner, though Charlie wasn't as pleasant as he normal is to him. He kept me smiling the whole night and allowed no worries to stay with me for long. I didn't know it then, but he was starting to win over my heart. And only time would tell if he, too, would leave it broken._

* * *

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly. My days were pretty boring with everyone at work or school. I did a lot of reading and soap opera watching. The afternoons were much more interesting. Leah came over Wednesday afternoon and stayed past dinner talking with me. Quil came back Thursday night and Charlie was friendlier, well after Sue kicked him under the table. Sue also refused to let me stand for more than five minutes at a time. She was definitely the strictest when it came to my bed rest. Though, Quil wasn't too far behind her.

Friday night, Leah and Quil both had patrol, Sue had a Council meeting, and Charlie had night shift. Friday night television sucked and I was up in my room reading a how to be a mommy book. It was raining outside, which wasn't unusual in Forks, but it was coming down really hard. I put down the book and sat in front of the window. Staring out into the dark, I wondered why I hadn't heard from Jacob since he helped drop me off from the hospital. I figured it was because he didn't want anything to do with me and the baby, or maybe he had sided with his imprint on the issue. I tried telling myself that that was what was for the best.

I closed my eyes trying to figure out my next move. I still hadn't given Quil an answer about the apartment or job at the store. I felt like I needed to do something for myself. I couldn't rely on someone else completely, especially if one look could make that person disappear. I slowly opened my only to scream in horror at what was in front of me. A face was in the window.

"Bella, it's just me!" a familiar voice yelled through the window. After I recovered from shock and fright, I took a closer look through the window.

"Jake?" I asked.

"Yeah, Bells, open the door will ya. It's pouring out here." After a minute of being confused and not sure if I was really awake or not, I opened the window. Jacob piled through and shook like a wet dog. I hid the giggle behind my hand. "Sorry to scare you like that."

"You do know that I have a front door, and even a back door?"

"Oh, well, yeah, I figured this was easier."

"How so?"

"Well, I hear that you were here alone, and you're still on bed rest, right?" I nodded. "Right, so I didn't want to make you walk downstairs if I could just come through the window. Just like old times, Bells." I cracked a small smile.

"So what are you doing here, Jake? I mean, it's pouring outside, and it's nine o'clock at night."

"I just wanted to see you."

"Now, Jake?"

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just needed- and Quil was- then Katie…" Jacob sighed deeply. "I'm just confused, Bella. I'm so damn confused and I'm pissed and I'm scared out of my mind. And I have no fucking clue what to do. So please don't kick me out just yet. I just want to talk and hang out. You know, like we used to, before everything happened. I miss you, Bells. I miss you like crazy." He sounded so lost and depressed. I nodded.

"I've missed you, too. You can stay for a little while." He let out a sigh or relief.

"Thank you," he said quietly, taking me in a hug. It felt good to wrapped in the warmth. I understood that this couldn't be easy for Jacob at all. To be torn in two: destiny or self. We sat there for a few minutes, me on my bed, Jacob in the rocking chair. "So you've been alright the past a couple of days, right? I mean no issues with the baby."

"We're fine."

"Right, good." It felt weird and awkward, two things that my relationship with Jake had never been.

"Was there something particular you wanted to talk about?"

"Um, not really, no."

"How did Katie take the news?" I already had an idea, but I wanted to hear it from Jacob.

"Yeah, she wasn't too happy," Jacob said not looking at me.

"I bet," I said bitterly. "What did she say?"

"She doesn't want me to see you or to be a part of the baby's life if its mine."

"And yet you're here. So is this good-bye then?"

"No, definitely not. I'm sorry that I wasn't here sooner. I was just trying to sort through everything. Katie's pissed at me, I feel like I'm letting you down completely, and I constantly want to rip my best friend apart. It's a lot to work through. It was difficult to come here with the imprint. With her not wanting me to come, it was hard to go against the pull. But I can promise you, Bella, that I won't let the imprint or Katie or anything keep me from being in this baby's life if she's mine. I can promise you that, Bella."

"Thanks, Jake. Just don't mess things up with Katie, okay? She's your soul mate for one reason or another, and you shouldn't push her away. I'm sure she's just worried about losing you. You should make sure she knows that won't happen. That she's yours forever, no matter the outcome of this pregnancy."

"God, Bella, why are saying that? Do you know the things she's said about you? Shouldn't you hate her, curse her, want her gone? Why do you have to be so God damn understanding all the time? Get mad, yell, or something."

"She's scared, Jacob, and she's young. How old is she?"

"Sixteen," he answered.

"I'm twenty, Jake. I'm older, so I should be the mature one. She didn't ask to be in this situation like the rest of us didn't. How would you feel if you found out that your soul mate would have chosen someone else if they had the choice, plus your soul mate tells they might be having a baby with that other person? It has to hurt badly. She probably feels that you're forced to be with her."

"I am in a way."

"Don't say that, Jake. Don't ever let her hear that. This isn't her fault and yet she's hurting as much as the rest of us. Make her feel like you actually want her."

"It's just hard. I still want you, Bella. And I don't think that will ever change."

"It won't if you don't let it. You need to let go of us, Jacob. We" I pointed between us, "don't exist anymore. You have your soul mate, so be with her and love her. It's not fair to her if you don't give her your whole heart."

"You know you being so perfect does not help make me want you less."

"I'm far from perfect, Jacob. We wouldn't be in the situation we are, if I was perfect."

"So what should I do? I need to be around. I want to help with the baby, but Katie doesn't even want me to be in the same room as you. How do I make her happy, and still take responsibility for the baby?"

"Well, you should start by taking her out, showing her that you care about her, and that she's the one you're with. Make her feel confident in your relationship. And you certainly shouldn't go behind her back to see me. You've got to be honest with her, Jacob, completely."

"Alright, that sounds like a good plan. I think you're right about how she's feeling. I didn't really listen to her feelings; instead I just focused on what she said about you. I know I can't do that anymore. What if that doesn't work?"

"Then I could try talking to her. Make her understand that I have no intention of interfering in the two of yours relationship."

"How about we make that the last resort? I don't think seeing you with child, possibly with my child, would help anything," Jacob said sighing. "So is there anything I can do for you or the baby? Do you have any plans after she's born?"

"Um, not really. Quil's mom is going to renovate the space above the store into an apartment. She said I could live and work downstairs, but I don't know if I'll do it."

"Why not, it sounds like a good thing?"

"You wouldn't care? It wouldn't bother you that I would be working at Quil's family store and living above it?"

"I'm trying here, Bella. I want to hate Quil. I asked the Council to punish him, did you know that?" I nodded. "It's easier to hate him. It's easier to blame him for everything that's fucked up in my life."

"Why?"

"Because who else can I blame? It's hard to blame fate when I can't physically see it or touch hit or hit it. The imprint won't let me blame Katie, and I would never blame you. You're the biggest victim in this. That leaves my self or Quil. It's natural to not want to blame yourself, so I blame him. He betrayed me."

"He didn't betray you, Jake."

"How can you say that? He slept with you hours after we broke up. What kind of best friend does that? What kind of cousin does such a thing?"

"It wasn't about you, Jacob. Maybe it was in the beginning for me, but it was never about you for Quil. He was just trying to help me."

"With sex?!"

"You can't be mad at Quil for that. I kissed him. I asked him for more. I took his pants off. I wanted to have sex. He never for one second pushed for more. If you want to blame someone for Quil and I having sex, then you have to blame me. You have to, because it was my fault."

"I can't blame you for anything. I told you that."

"You know what your problem is, Jacob? You put me up on a high pedestal. I'm not perfect, not at all. I'm flawed just as much, if not more, than the next person. You can't put me up on a pedestal, Jake. The higher you put me up, the farther I have to fall and I don't want to fall, Jake. It hurts. I don't want to disappoint you, but that's all you set me up for."

"I'm sorry that I make you feel that way."

"So if you want to do something for me, you can make up with Quil. I think he misses his best friend."

"I don't think I can be his best friend anytime soon. I may realize that it isn't all his fault, but I still can't look him in the eye."

"Why not?"

"Because I've screwed up so much, and all in less than a week. I tried to have him kicked out of the pack, Bella. What kind of a pack brother does that make me? Some of the other guys won't eve acknowledge his presence because they think I'm right. I can't face him."

"Quil isn't mad at you, Jacob. He understands that he hurt you, and I know he wishes that he didn't. You're more than a cousin or a best friend to him, Jacob, you're his brother."

"I don't know what to do. I've screwed up everything, Bella. Everyone hates me right now. Dad think I'm being stupid and immature, Sam thinks that I'm being selfish and childish about the whole thing, and Katie either cries or yells when I'm around."

"No one hates you, Jacob. You haven't handled things the best way, but you can change all that."

"How?"

"Fix things with Katie, first, then with Quil. Everything else will fall into place."

"What exactly should I do about Quil?"

"Well, his birthday is in eight days. I was thinking of putting together a small party. What do you think? Would you want to help me?"

"Um, yeah, I think I would. Thanks, Bells, for everything. I came here to try and help you in some way, and you helped me. I really am so, so sorry that this all happened." I stood up and put my finger on his lips.

"Don't say that, Jacob. It may be hard, but I'm happy that I'm going to have a baby. I'm not sorry that any of this happened, I just sorry that everyone seemed to get hurt."

"I love you, Bella. I know that I shouldn't, but I do. I always will."

"And I will always love you, Jacob, but we have to learn to love each other in new ways. As friends like before we dated." He laughed.

"Bella, I haven't loved you as only a friend since I was like six years old."

"Well, I guess it's time to learn then."

"Haven't you ever heard that you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"Yes, I have, but you're a wolf and you're not old."

"Sure, sure."

"It's getting late, Jacob. I need to get some rest. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay, later."

"Talk to Katie, make things better there."

"I will. Good night, Bells. Sleep tight," he said leaving a kiss on my forehead.

"Night, Jake. I'll call you later so we can plan. Do you think you could work on the other guys, the ones that aren't acknowledging Quil?"

"Yeah, sure, I can do that," he said before jumping out the window.

Things were fixed completely, but it was certainly a start. I knew Jacob wasn't the ass he'd been acting like. We were all stressed and hurting. He took his anger and pain out on Quil. It was wrong, but understandable. He knew that now, though. I hoped that things would get better. I didn't want my daughter to be torn into a world of anger and disarray. I wanted her to have a family, one that loved and took care of each other. I wanted Quil's birthday to be the beginning of that. I wanted the pack reunified as one. I tore them apart, so I would put them back together, and I had three months to do it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, I hope that this chapter made you hate Jacob a little less. I know he's a bit of a screw up in the right thing to do area. But he has his own way of thinking and understanding things and it all affects how he behaves. So please don't hate on Jacob too much. I know you all want Bella to end up with Quil, and you don't have to despise Jacob for that to happen. Anyway, let me know what you thought about the chapter.


	17. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** So I was going to have this for you earlier in the week, but my computer had other ideas. I went to load the chapter up and realized that half of it was gone…missing…disappeared…forever erased from my hard drive. To say that I was saddened or shocked or even disappointed wouldn't begin to cover it. So it took me a couple of days to feel like rewriting it. The chapter was perfect and then it was gone. I'm not completely happy with this chapter with the new writing, but my little heart couldn't take tweaking anymore, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it. Be sure to let me know what you think at the end.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_Things were fixed completely, but it was certainly a start. I knew Jacob wasn't the ass he'd been acting like. We were all stressed and hurting. He took his anger and pain out on Quil. It was wrong, but understandable. He knew that now, though. I hoped that things would get better. I didn't want my daughter to be torn into a world of anger and disarray. I wanted her to have a family, one that loved and took care of each other. I wanted Quil's birthday to be the beginning of that. I wanted the pack reunified as one. I tore them apart, so I would put them back together, and I had three months to do it._

* * *

Monday I went to the doctors and he took me off bed rest with conditions. I couldn't lift things heavier than fifteen pounds, nor could I stand longer than twenty minutes at a time, and no stress. The first two were easier than the last. The party was a little more trouble than I expected. Jacob, bless his heart tried, but party planning was not his forte. Plus, it was hard to plan when Quil wanted to be at the house with me all the time. Still I had spent some time with Jacob. He took my advice and said that Katie at least listening to his whole little speech, but he didn't know if she truly believed it all. It appeared that she didn't fully trust me. You would think that up and leaving my life and almost everyone I loved, so that she could have her happily ever after with _my_ boyfriend would say something about the kind of person I was. Apparently not to Katie it didn't. She didn't know me, and I was a threat to her happiness. I would have to find some way to prove to her that I wasn't a threat at all and neither was my baby.

It was Friday and the party was Saturday. According to Jacob, the whole pack had agreed to come. He asked them Thursday so Quil wouldn't be as likely to hear about it. I was going over to Sam and Emily's to do some of the final touches.

I pulled up to their house and parked my old truck. I waddled my way up the walkway. Emily had the door opened for me.

"Hello, Bella. Come on in," she greeted me sweetly.

"Hey, Em, thanks," I said walking inside. We sat down at the kitchen table.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Good, baby and I are doing well today." She smiled.

"So what foods do you want tomorrow?"

"Um, I'm not completely sure, maybe just burgers and the normal cookout foods."

"Okay, so like potato salad, baked beans, coleslaw, and corn on the cob. You want anything else besides those and desserts?"

"Uh, no that sounds great. Thanks again for helping me out, Emily. I just don't have the energy to cook all that myself."

"Bella, it's no problem. You know I love cooking and I love my boys. It's my pleasure to do this. Quil's mom, Celia and Sue are bringing the desserts, and Kim and Leah will help with the sides. Sam and Jake will take care of the burgers. All that you need to worry about is getting the birthday cake to Sue. And then you need to get the birthday boy here on time. It'll turn out great."

"You're the best, Emily, I hope you know that. Sam is a very lucky man," I said.

"Yes, I am, aren't I?" Sam said walking through the back door with Jacob on his heels. Sam wrapped his arms around Emily and Jacob sat down next to me. Sam kissed Emily and she giggled in delight. That used to be us. Jacob and me. Jake and Bells. But now I had new focus, my daughter. And I was joining the pack again. I was making sure that Quil still enjoyed what was left of his childhood before she was born, just in case fatherhood was waiting for him. I was repairing a broken friendship between best friends, cousins, brothers.

"Bella…Bells…Bella." I heard Jacob saying but I was too far thinking.

"Huh?"

"You okay, Bells? You sort of zoned out there for a second."

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Just stuff for tomorrow."

"Oh, okay well, I think it's going to turn out really well. The guys weren't too hard to convince. I know Embry is really looking forward to it."

"Why's that?"

"He's tired of always watching what he says around either of us. He hasn't picked a side, and doesn't plan on it. He's both of ours best friend and his been torn these past two weeks. He's looking forward to us all three being friends again. I think he thinks it will automatically go back to normal, to before. He doesn't get that it will more than likely never be exactly the way it used to be," he finished somberly.

"Well, the three of you can try. You can try to get it as close as possible."

"You're right, as usual. What would I do without you, Bells?" Jake grinned.

"Have a much simpler life." He shook his head.

"Maybe, but it would be a more boring one, too."

"Right," I said dismissively. "Jacob, what are you even doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

"I'm taking a mental health day," he said grinning one of his Jacob smiles that I'd missed so much.

"Unbelievable," I laughed.

After discussing a few more details with the three of them, I left for my next errand. I was going to talk with Celia Ateara. When I called to invite her to the birthday party the previous week, she invited me over for lunch to talk. I had been reluctant to agree, because meeting her scared the crap out of me. I'd only seen her in passing before my…leaving, and had never talked to her, and now I was potentially carrying her first grandchild. What kind of conversation is appropriate in such a situation? None that I could think of, I had no Earthly idea what she wanted to talk about.

I drove over to the store and sat for a minute in the truck. I had to work up my courage to go in. I opened the door, slinked out the truck, and headed for the door. Celia was standing behind the counter when I walked in. She smiled at me and whispered the woman next to her. Celia came around the counter and walked over to me.

"Bella, how nice it is to officially meet you. Come on, let's head up stairs," she said taking my hand.

"Oh, okay. It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Ateara."

"Nonsense, Bella, you call me Celia."

"Alright," I said following her up a set of stairs in the back room.

She opened the door, holding it for me to pass through. I looked around shocked at how large the space was. It really did take up most of the same space as the entire store downstairs did. If I had to guess, it was probably close to 1,200 square feet. There where a few structural beams scattered across the room, but other than those, it was a blank canvas.

"Perfect, right? It's just sitting here unused, which is a real shame. I already had the plans drawn up."

"Mrs. At-" I stopped after meeting her raised eyebrows and questioning look. "I mean, Celia, I'm not sure if I'm comfortable living here. It's too much."

"Nonsense, I was already planning on doing something with the space. I'd been putting construction off, and now I have a motivating reason to get things rolling."

"But really, I mean, we don't even know if she's Quil's baby or not. I don't understand why you would be so nice to me. I could be making your son a father before he even graduates from high school."

"While that is all true, you've left out an important piece of information."

"And that would be…"

"Bella, I love my son, I do, but for awhile I didn't really like the man he was becoming. My husband died when Quil was still relatively young, nine years old. My father-in-law has been a strong figure, but Quil still sort of lost his way. He never really tried in school, only doing enough to keep me and his teachers off his back. The boy complained about any minute he spent downstairs in the store working. And the girls…well, let's just say there were many. Every two weeks or so, I would see my son chasing a different skirt and running around with a different girl. I never expected him to settle down and find a wife at sixteen by any means, but I would have liked him to have found one girl he really liked and stuck with her for a few months. Anyway, I'm rambling on. You changed all that."

"I didn't do anything, really-"

"Yes, you did and there is no need to be humble about it. You should receive some sort of prize or write a book. Every mother of a teenager boy would love to find a way to straighten out their sons. You saved Quil from his self. He's still the goofball that I love, but he's responsible and mature as well. He's turned into a man that I know his father would be very proud of, because I know that I am."

"I don't see where I come in."

"It's simple, he did it for you."

"How can you know that?"

"Mothers always know these things, Bella. You'll learn that quickly. He'll kill me if he finds out I told you all this. Oh well. He came to me in the days after you disappeared. He moped for about a week, as did that whole little group of friends you left behind, before he came to me. He asked me what girl's looked for in a guy, not just a guy, but in a guy that they'd want forever. I was sure taken back. My Quil wanted to impress a girl forever. It seemed unreal, but of course I wanted to help. Long story short, he told me how much you meant to him, but of course you were with Jacob. So the bro-code or whatever they call it prevented him from ever sharing his feelings. After you left he felt pretty sure that Jacob was out of the picture, but he still didn't think that you'd come back to Forks. And if you did that he would have a slim to no chance of getting his own shot with you. But he became the man you would be more likely to give a shot anyway, just in case."

"He really asked you for advice? For getting a chance with me?"

"Yes, dear. He has it quite bad for you. You know I haven't seen him with a single girl since you left. Not one. He's all about school and work there days. Well, and you and that baby since you've come back."

"Don't you hate me for tearing his friendship with Jacob apart, possibly making him a father at such a young age, and causing him to quit school? The list can go on and on."

"From what I've heard, this party will help with the Jacob part, I've always looked forward to becoming a grandmother, and he's getting his GED and can still walk with his class in June. Now, can we look at the plans I've had drawn up?"

"I still don't know, Celia. I feel like I'm taking too much from your family."

"Bella, really it would be so much better for _everyone _if you lived here. If that is my granddaughter, I want her close and I know that Quil would want the same. Plus, we here on the reservation tend to take care of our own. So that means that you can fully expect a flow of people pushing themselves into your life trying to help with the baby regardless of whom her father turns out to be. You'll have all the free child care you could want here. Trust me."

"You're not really giving me a choice are you?"

"I knew you were a smart one. Now tell me if anything in these plans you would want to change. Now is the time to do it before construction starts next week. Let's go down stairs, so you can seat, and look these over, shall we."

"Sure, Celia."

We walked downstairs and went into the small break room. She rolled out the plans on the table for me to look at. She'd done an amazing job overall. It was planned to be a three bedroom, two bath apartment with an open kitchen to the living area. I questioned the third bedroom. Her answer, 'you never what the future holds, and I want lots of grandchildren.' I blushed to a bright red color while Celia only laughed. Once I noticed there was no really dining area I knew there was a problem. Reminding Celia that all those free babysitters would need to eat, she reluctantly agreed to get rid of the bedroom that bordered the kitchen and make it a dining room. I knew the pack would need plenty of space to eat when they were over, and I had a suspicious feeling that if I lived here, they would be over often.

After revising the plans, Celia fixed us a simple lunch. We talked about my pregnancy and how happy I was to be off bed rest. The one week had been a killer. We also talked about the party the next day. Celia couldn't believe that her baby was turning eighteen; she didn't feel old enough to have an adult son. I didn't mention the fact that she wasn't really old enough to be a grandmother either. After talking for awhile I knew that it was getting late and I had somewhere to be. We said our good-byes and I set off. I had one more stop on my list of places to go that day.


	18. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the marvelous reviews. So a few of you guessed that she's visiting Katie….we shall see.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_After revising the plans, Celia fixed us a simple lunch. We talked about my pregnancy and how happy I was to be off bed rest. The one week had been a killer. We also talked about the party the next day. Celia couldn't believe that her baby was turning eighteen; she didn't feel old enough to have an adult son. I didn't mention the fact that she wasn't really old enough to be a grandmother either. After talking for awhile I knew that it was getting late and I had somewhere to be. We said our good-byes and I set off. I had one more stop on my list of places to go that day._

* * *

It wasn't a long drive, but I got stuck behind a slow poke driver. I could feel my hormones building up into anger as the driver slowed to ten miles under the speed limit. I was about to go around the man and cross the stupid double lines, but my turn came into view. I just really didn't want to be late and ruin the surprise.

I pulled into an empty parking spot and waited. Sitting there in the truck, my back started to hurt. I looked at the clock to see I still had ten minutes and decided to get out and walk around a bit. I'd been sitting up straight most of the day, with the exception of viewing the apartment space, and I needed to stretch out my muscles some. I stood against the truck waiting patiently. As people started to exit the building, I got a few odd looks. I could understand why. They either knew who I was, or they were wondering why a random pregnant chick was waiting in the parking lot. It was when I could tell that they were pointing and talking about me that I started to squirm under the attention. I was just about ready to climb back into the truck and avoid the stares a little better when I heard my name called out.

"Bella!" I turned to see who I was there for, running toward me. I felt myself wrapped up into the warm arms. I had to admit, it felt good in the chill of the day. "What are you doing here?" I was asked as I was put back on the ground from the all encompassing hug.

"Surprising you, Quil."

"Well, it sure is a great surprise. What did you have planned exactly?"

"I thought I'd pick you up and we could go get dinner."

"Perfect." He looked around the school parking lot and growled lightly.

"What?" I asked as he glared at the other students.

"Nothing, people just need to mind their own business."

"So they are talking about me? I figured with the looks I was getting," I said dejectedly. Quil pulled my face into his warm hands. I closed my eyes to the touch.

"Hey, don't let them get you down, Bella. They don't know anything. They think they do, that's for sure, but they don't. No one gets to judge you, or me, or Jacob. This is our business and everyone else can shove their noses somewhere else." He was right, but still. I sighed and opened my eyes to look into his.

"I know. It's just different here. In Florida, I was just another knocked up girl, simply a statistic, with no story behind it. Here and in Forks, not many girls get pregnant unwed and _everyone _seems to have the human version of the story. I'm just not used to the looks yet. I've only been up and around town for a week. I'm sure they'll find something else to talk about eventually."

"You shouldn't have to get used to them or wait for them to get into someone else's life. I'm going to say something."

"Don't make a big deal about it, Quil," I pleaded.

"How can I not? What they're doing is hurting you, and you know I don't like to see you hurting."

"Quil-" I started, but it was too late. He'd turned around to face the crowd.

"Hey! What the fuck are you all staring at? Have you never seen a pregnant woman before? And if you want to know, she's possibly pregnant with _my_ daughter and I couldn't be happier about it. Now does anyone want to say something to mine or Bella's faces about it?" The whole parking lot suddenly found their cars or the concrete very interesting. No one dared to say anything to the six foot four giant next to me. "That's what I thought. Now if you would keep your thoughts and eyes to yourselves, I would greatly appreciate it. Bella, here, can't be stressed out and that's exactly what you're doing to her."

I could feel Quil vibrating the slightest bit next to me. I ran my hand up and down his arm. He took his eyes away from the parking lot audience and redirected them at me.

"I'm okay, Quil," I spoke softly.

"I know, but the doctor said no stress. And I know you well enough that stares from _incredibly rude people_ would stress you out. I just want the two of you okay and healthy," he said, speaking the words, 'incredibly rude people' loud enough for the whole parking lot to hear.

"I know, thank you. Can we just leave?" I was regretting my decesion to visit Quil at the school. I should have known that you don't see your baby's daddy while he's still at high school. He was already quieting quiting school for me and the baby, and I wanted the last few weeks he was there to be fun, not stressed and talked about behind his back.

"Sure," Quil said helping me in the passenger seat. He went around to the other side of truck and hopped in. "Where to, my lady?" he asked with a big grin.

"My house." He nodded and pulled out of the school parking lot.

Once we reached my house we both went inside and I started an early dinner. I wasn't really hungry after just eating with his mom, but I knew he would eat anything put in front of him. Plus, I had to get rid of him early so I could bake his cake before I went to bed. I went simple with spaghetti. We sat down, Quil with almost the whole pot in front of him.

"Do people talk about our situation at your school all the time?" I asked and Quil looked upat me with wide eyes.

"Um…who…why do ask?" he muttered before stuffing his mouth with a fork full of noodles.

"Just wondering."

"Just a little gossip, Bella. Nothing I can't handle."

"Like what?" He sighed loudly, putting down his fork.

"Well, everyone knows it's me or Jacob who's the father, and they all know that Jake and I used to be best friends. So it's known that I broke the guy code or whatever. I slept with my best friend's girl. Other guys don't look too favorably on that." He finished picking up his fork, and taking another large bite. I could swear that none of the wolves actually chewed. It always looked like they inhaled their food.

"But I wasn't his girl anymore, Katie was."

"Don't matter. Ex or current, you don't mess with a buddy's girl."

"They don't give you crap, do they?"

"Not to my face. Do I look like a guy that an average high school guy would give crap to? I'm a big boy, Bella, and I can take care of myself. No one messes with me."

"But they talk." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Like I said, I'm glad that she could be mine. I don't regret a thing, Bella, except maybe hurting Jacob. I don't care what other people say about me or think about me. The only person's opinion that really matters to me is you. And maybe my momma. She may be five foot six, but she'd whip my butt if she really wanted to." I had to laugh since I whole heartedly agreed.

"Yeah, she's quite the character, isn't she? She doesn't really take no for an answer."

"No, she doesn't- Wait, you met Momma?"

"Yes, I had lunch with her today." Quil's mouth was open, his head tilted to the side, and his eyes wild with confusion.

"Why?"

"She asked."

"Oh," he said still confused.

"I went over to the store. She wanted me to take a look at the apartment space." I could tell her was trying not to look too hopeful.

"And…"

"And we looked over the plans. I suggested that we change one of the bedrooms into a dining room on the blueprints. You know how you wolves are. Any place you are, you've all got to eat."

"Does this mean that you'll live there?" A smile was playing on his lips.

"Yes, with conditions."

"That's great, Bella. I'm so happy. It's the best thing, I swear, you won't regret it. What are the conditions?"

"I will be paying rent and not at some ridiculous discounted price either. I want to pay rent like anyone else would, whatever the average rent in La Push is."

"Hmph, good luck getting Momma to agree with that. She thinks the world of you. She won't take your money like that, Bella. I can tell you that right now."

"Then I won't be moving in."

"You said it yourself, she doesn't really take no for an answer, ever. Momma is good a getting her way."

"We'll see."

"Oh yeah, we'll see."

We spent the next couple of hours talking. For two hours, though, I made Quil study. The following day, Saturday, was his party, then the next Saturday was Emily and Sam's wedding. But the day after the wedding, Quil would be going into Port Angeles to take his GED exam. After we went over some writing exercises, we focused on social studies. It was his weak area. Math and science Quil could pass without batting an eye, history, economics and government were a different story.

Quil grudgingly went home at seven o'clock after I stressed that the baby and I needed our rest for our day in Port Angeles the next day. I fixed his monster of a cake and finished tiredly by eleven. It was tough work making a cake to feed around twenty-five, including eight wolves. Sue helped once she and Charlie got home around nine.

I got early the next morning around eight o'clock. I got a shower and got ready for the day. When I got down stairs I could smell the breakfast aroma and it smelt mouthwatering. I walked into the kitchen and laughed. I mean really, really laughed. Quil turned around from the stove, waving a spatula, and grinned at me.

"Does me cooking humor you?"

"No, but the apron you're wearing does," I barely got out through the laughter. Quil was wearing Sue's apron. It was pink with flowers and said 'Kiss the cook' on it.

"Well, are you going to do what it says?" He asked cheekily.

"I suppose I could since you cooked me breakfast." I leaned up on my tippy toes and planted a small kiss on Quil's lips.

"Now what is this about cooking you breakfast? This is all for me, sugar."

"Quil!"

"What? Cook your own, woman."

"But you're doing such a great job already. It smells delicious."

"Flattery won't work," he said turning back to his cooking pancakes. It was just so easy with Quil. THe joking and spending time together felt natural. It was scary how easy it was, it was as easy, if not easier than with Jacob.

"You would really deprive your daughter of breakfast?" I asked innocently. Quil abruptly turned around and gaped at me. I was confused at his reaction. "What?"

"You called her my daughter." He said quietly. I had to think back a minute before I realized that I did.

"I guess, I did."

"You've never actually called her mine like that. Not without the words 'possible' or 'potential' or some other conditional word. I liked it. It felt right," he continued softly. During this time, he'd moved closer to me, taking my face into his hands. I looked up at him.

"Me, too," I said equally as quiet. I did like it. It did sound right. This whole scene felt right. Me the mommy, Quil the daddy, and the both of us were getting ready for the new day together. I wanted it so badly. I could see how much he did too. But I couldn't give that to him, though, could I?

He leaned down and I reached up, our lips meeting in the middle. His lips were so warm and inviting. The kiss was slow and gentle, everything it wasn't the night before I left for Jacksonville. I could taste syrup on his lips; he'd already taken a taste of breakfast without me. I moved my hands to rest on his well sculpted chest. One of his hands drifted down to my stomach, cupping my baby bump, while the other pulled my head closer to his. I didn't want it to end. It'd been so long since I'd shared a kiss with anyone, six months ago with the same man, and this kiss was turning me to goo.

I could feel my daughter moving around inside, she was usually a pretty quiet baby. I hardly ever felt her moving around, a concern I brought up with my OB/GYN in Florida. I was worrying for nothing like always she said. I tried to ignore my insides being bruised, not wanting to end the kiss that shouldn't have begun. I didn't think I'd let myself do it again and I wanted to treasure each second I could. I guess she didn't like being ignored, because she gave a final hard kick. Quil pulled away quickly.

"Wow, what was that?" I looked at him.

"You felt that?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I felt that. Something hit my hand in there." He looked alarmed, puzzled, and a little scared, pointing at my stomach.

"It was the baby," I grinned. Since she rarely kicked, and she never kicked hard enough to be felt from the outside. Much to Renee's disappointment, no one had felt her besides my self yet.

"Really? That was her…from…inside you?" He asked in wonder.

"Yeah," I said as she kicked hard again. "Oh, she's really worked up. She never gets like this. You're the first person to feel her kick." She did it again and I winced. "Here, put your hand right here," I said resting his hand where she was kicking.

"Whoa, that's a little bit freaky. I mean, I can feel her. It's so weird. I'm really the first?" He asked smiling but with his eyes glued to my stomach.

"Yes, you are. She apparently wanted to make her presence known." Quil kneeled down and put both hands on my tummy.

"Hey, baby girl. How you doing in there? Don't be kicking Mommy too much. You don't want to bruise her up all up. Mommy's a bit of a klutz and doesn't need help getting hurt."

"Hey, don't tell her that."

"What? It's the truth. Hopefully that's the one trait she doesn't get from you."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically.

"Well, we don't want her getting the freaky wolf gene either. We don't want another Leah on our hands."

"Leah is not that bad. She's my friend, and potentially my future step sister."

"Yeah, well, you've never had to share a mind with her."

"Whatever."

"You think she knew what we were doing?"

"I don't know. Maybe she liked her mom kissing her dad."

"Or maybe she didn't like her mom kissing a guy that's not her dad," he said dolefully.

"Quil…"

"It's all right, sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Not when we should be celebrating. I mean, she let me feel her."

"Right, before anyone else. Honestly, it was probably because I was getting…worked up. She could probably feel my emotions changing."

"Right…you're probably right." We stood in silence for a few moments before I broke it.

"Is breakfast ready?"

"Yeah, sure, let me put on the last of the pancakes to cook. You can get started with the ones on the table," he said going back to the stove.

Before sitting down I walked over to Quil and pulled his face down to me. He looked at me with vulnerable eyes.

"Happy Birthday, Quil," I said leaving a small peck on his cheek. "And thank you for breakfast. You really shouldn't have, seeing as you're the birthday boy." I walked back to my seat.

"I didn't mind. I like taking care of you." We shared a smile before he sat down and we both dug into our delicious breakfast.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I hope this gave you your Quil fix, at least for a little while. I know many of you were looking forward to the party scene soon, but I actually had other ideas first. But I'll leave it up to you, my wonderful readers. Would you rather skip straight to the party scene or go on the baby shopping trip to Port Angeles with Bella and Quil first? Shopping would be chapter 18 and then party would be 19, or just skip straight to party at 18. You decided. So let me know what you want and what you thought of this chapter!


	19. Chapter 18

**Author's Note:** So most of you voted for the shopping trip. A couple said they wanted the party first, then the shopping, but the purpose of the shopping trip was to get Quil out of La Push, so that everyone else could get ready for it.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_Is breakfast ready?"_

"_Yeah, sure, let me put on the last of the pancakes to cook. You can get started with the ones on the table," he said going back to the stove._

_Before sitting down I walked over to Quil and pulled his face down to me. He looked at me with vulnerable eyes._

"_Happy Birthday, Quil," I said leaving a small peck on his cheek. "And thank you for breakfast. You really shouldn't have, seeing as you're the birthday boy." I walked back to my seat._

"_I didn't mind. I like taking care of you." We shared a smile before he sat down and we both dug into our delicious breakfast. _

* * *

We spent the car ride joking and playing around light heartedly. Neither of us brought up the kiss, though, I knew we were both thinking about it. To be completely honest, I wasn't sure what to think about the kiss. It was great, there was no denying that, but it confused me more than I already was. I had made up my mind to be alone raising my daughter, with the help of the father is if he so wanted. I needed to do what was best for her, and trying a unsteady relationship wouldn't be in her best interest. I needed to focus on her for the time being. I knew Jacob had his soul mate in Katie and couldn't be with me regardless if that's what either of us wanted. I also knew that Quil would eventually imprint too. And I would not subject myself to that kind of pain again. Not intentially or when I had a child to consider. So logically I shouldn't want to repeat that kiss Quil and I shared in the kitchen, but I did. I did so badly. That one kiss open the flood gate of emotions and feelings. Over the last few weeks, I'd gotten a lot closer to Quil and I'd seen the great guy he'd turned out to be. Any girl would be lucky to have him. I wanted to be that girl.

I had so many wishes. I wished that Quil wasn't a wolf and imprinting didn't exist. I wished that Quil and I could be together. I wished that I could give my daughter a complete, unified family. There had to be a way around imprinting. If there was just a way to keep it from happening, I could get my happy ending. I realized quickly that there wasn't a way, because surely Billy would have told Jacob if there was any sort of way.

We arrived in Port Angeles around nine o'clock. Quil and I made our first stop at Babies R Us. I figured it would be a good start to look. When we arrived, Quil went straight to the shopping carts.

"We don't need one of those today, Quil," I called out to him. He looked back at me as if I'd taken away his favorite toy.

"Why not? You know, I'm a wolf, not a pack mule, Bella. I don't want to carry everything," he said with a twitching smil.e

"We won't be buying anything." The smile fell.

"What?! Then why come? I'm confused."

"Today, we're forming a list. We'll use the scanner thingy to make a registry. That way we can see what we need and how much everything will cost. From there we can create a budget, and we can also prioritize what we actually will need from what we just want."

"Oh, that make sense, I guess," he said dejectedly.

"It does, trust me. But just listen to this. I'll let you be the one to use the scanner. It's sort of like a laser gun." Quil's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Now sounds fun," he said excitedly.

We made our way to the customer service and did all the preliminary sign up forms. The service rep gave us the scanner and gave us free reign of the store. I headed over to the 'For Mom' section first. We were going down the first isle of the section when Quil questioned some of the items.

"Seriously, what is some of this stuff?" I turned to see what he was looking at.

"What stuff?"

"This, 'Proud Body Tummy Tatts'. Who puts a fake tattoo on their pregnant belly?"

"Not me that's for sure. I don't really want to point out my stomach more than it already does. Don't scan that."

"Okay, what about this?" I looked to see him holding a small bottle labeled 'Otopia Organic Mom Belly to Babe Stretch Mark Oil'.

"You use it to reduce stretch marks."

"Stretch marks? Those don't sound good."

"They're not. As your stomach grows, the skin gets stretched out and leaves marks."

"Do you have those?"

"Not yet," I said quietly.

"But you will?"

"I'm not sure. I already have some of this stuff at the house. Some people are more prone to getting them. Renée didn't get them with me, so I'm hoping I won't get them either."

"Oh, okay," he said before heading down the isle.

"Maybe we should leave the mommy section and get on to the baby section."

"That sounds like a plan to me. I want to see the toys."

"She won't need a lot of toys right off the bat. We need the essentials first."

"Baby shopping isn't turning out to be as fun as I thought it would be." I rolled my eyes.

"Let's go."

We made our way over to the baby bedding part of the store. I started to look at a bedding set that was blue and red floral pattern with soft green leaves.

"No, no, no. Bella, this is the one." I looked behind me look at 'the one' bedding.

"I think not," I said simply before turning back to the one I was previously looking at.

"Bella, do you not see how perfect it? I mean just look at it." I turned to look at the themed bedding.

"I see it, Quil. It's blue bedding with wolves on it. My daughter will not be sleeping on that."

"Why not?" he whined. "It's perfect."

"She's a girl, Quil."

"So?"

"No."

"No, what?"

"No, my daughter is not going to sleep amongst the wolves at night. She'll be spending more than enough time with them during the day."

"All right, I can see where you're coming from. But think about this. She'll feel completely safe with them around her. She'll know that she's protected and loved."

"Quil, read my lips. N-O. No."

"Fine," he grumbled. "But yours doesn't even look like a girl's bedding."

"Yes, it does. It has a floral pattern."

"But there's no pink or purple. No girl colors."

"Things can be girly or feminine without being plastered in pink and lavender, Quil. I won't force my daughter to conform to society's demands. Later in life if she chooses to like pink on her own, then I won't make a fuss."

"But-"

"Scan this one, please." He looked at me, then the bedding, then me again. He sighed and then scanned the barcode on the bedding I chose. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah."

We made our way through the furniture and we agreed on an oak c rib set. Next we looked at the car seats.

"Oh, check this one out, Bella. It looks like a cow."

"What don't you get about this baby being a girl? Why would our daughter want to sit inside a cow?"

"I don't know anything about girls, Bella. I'm an only child, remember? No experience with girls."

"What about cousins?"

"The only girl cousins I have are Rebecca and Rachel, and they're older than me."

"Well, you'll learn fast."

"Maybe I should get a book while we're here," he said looking around.

"That might be a good idea."

"What about this one, it's pink with flowers. Very girly." I sighed. He was trying, but it just wasn't working.

"Quil, that's a toddler seat."

"So?"

"She needs an infant seat. See one like this," I said pointing to a lavender infant seat. "Actually this one can later convert into a toddler seat too."

"Oh, I'm really suck at this. Maybe Jacob should have come with you. He couldn't be any worse than I am."

"No, Quil, I wanted you here. And you'll get the hang of it. I've had months of reading to learn this. Trust me when I say, that I didn't just know all this stuff. I knew next to nothing about babies before I saw that positive sign on that little stick."

"All right, I guess. But I will read up on all this. I'll have more time to learn all this stuff after the test next week."

"Don't worry yourself. I have faith in you, Quil. You'll be a great father."

"I hope so."

"You will." Quil smiled down at me. He leaned down and placed a small kiss on my lips. I wanted him to deep it, but he pulled back. We stood staring at one another for I'm not sure how long. I cleared my throat. "Let's finish up, so we can get out of here."

We finished going through the store, Quil scanning away. Once we were done, Quil picked out a couple of daddy-to-be books to buy. As we stood in line to pay, Quil started to read as we waited, and I had to yank it out of his hand so we could pay for it once it was our turn to check out. We printed out our list, returned the scanner, and left for La Push.

On the drive Quil would read out things he thought were interesting. He stayed confused for most to the ride on how a full term pregnancy was forty weeks, which would equal ten months, not the said nine. He was anxious to go to the next appointment with me to hear and see the baby himself. When we got into La Push, Quil started toward his house.

"Can we stop by Sam and Emily's house?"

"Sure, not a problem." I got out my phone and texted a quick message to Emily. "ETA 2 min.'

When we pulled into the drive, only Sam's truck sat there. We walked up to the front door and knocked.

"Why are we knocking, we never knock."

"It's locked," I said jingling the door handle.

"That's weird."

"We're out back!" Sam shouted from the back yard. Quil looked confused.

"Why is the door locked?" he asked staring at the door. "It's never locked."

"I don't know, but let's head back," I said pulling on his arm. As we turned the corner, a loud chorus of shouts erupted.

"SURPRISE!"

* * *

**Author's Note:** Pictures of the bedding and car seats up on my website. http://blueboarderchick(.)webs(.)com

Also, I put up the newest chapter of Learning to Love Bella. It's some good Quil time.


	20. Chapter 19

**Author's Note:** Party time!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_When we pulled into the drive, only Sam's truck sat there. We walked up to the front door and knocked._

"_Why are we knocking, we never knock." _

"_It's locked," I said jingling the door handle._

"_That's weird."_

"_We're out back!" Sam shouted from the back yard. Quil looked confused._

"_Why is the door locked?" he asked staring at the door. "It's never locked."_

"_I don't know, but let's head back," I said pulling on his arm. As we turned the corner, a loud chorus of shouts erupted._

"_SURPRISE!"_

* * *

"Oh shit!" Quil yelled. He was either surprised or a very good actor. I was really hoping for surprised. "What's going on here?"

"It's your birthday party," I told him.

"You did this?"

"With a lot of help."

"Wow, um, thanks everyone," he said looking around the crowd. His eyes lingered on the pack. I knew that they'd been excluding him from pack hang out time. If they went cliff diving or watched a move or whatever, Quil was always conveniently forgotten to be told. He was probably wondering what I'd done to get them all here.

"Can we eat now?"

"Shut up, Paul," Jacob said hitting him upside the head.

"Ouch, what was that for?"

"For being you."

"Yes, we can all eat, but Quil as the birthday boy should go first," Emily said motherly.

"Shouldn't I be the birthday _man_? I am after all an adult now."

"Sure, sure, keep telling yourself that," Jacob grinned at Quil. Quil looked taken back by Jacob's attitude. Jacob walked up to us, and pulled Quil into a hug. "I'm sorry about my poor attitude before. I miss my best friend."

"I miss you too, man. And I'm sorry for my part in everything too."

"Cool, we'll talk later."

"Yeah, sounds good." I smiled. The party was starting out perfectly. Quil and Jacob would be friends again, even if it wasn't as best friends. It was a start. Jacob walked over to where Katie stood off to the side. She certainly wouldn't have been on my invite list, but including the pack meant imprints too. She wore a sour expression. I would be sure to stay clear of her.

"You had something to do with that too?"

"With what?" I looked at Quil questioningly.

"Jake."

"We may have had a little chat." Quil beamed down at me before pulling me into a hug.

"Thank you, Bella, for everything," he whispered into my ear.

"It's your birthday, you deserve anything you want." He smiled went a little crooked and a mischievous glint filled his eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind." I chose to ignore his statement.

"Go fix your plate," I said pushing him toward the tables of food.

"All right, pushy," he snickered, pulling me with him.

We fixed our plates, two plates in Quil's case, and headed for one of the picnic tables. Everyone enjoyed their meals with conversations dispersed around the different tables. All the food was amazing. Emily and everyone else did a great job. I was very happy with the outcome of the party so far. All the pack seemed to be getting along, and no glares were being sent out in Quil's or my directions. That was always a good sign. I still didn't know exactly who had taken Jacob's side in the mess. Now that Jacob wanted to reconnect with Quil, I was hoping those that supported his fight against Quil would welcome Quil back to the pack.

After everyone finished up eating, or should I say when there was no more food to be seen, we all moved the picnic benches around the fire that Sam and a couple of the other guys built. The pack members didn't need the warmth of the fire, but we humans did. As the sun began to set, the chill moved into the air. All we all got settled, Emily came out of the house carrying a wrapped gift.

"Present time," she announced.

"Oh, no one had to get me anything. The party is more than enough," Quil said.

"Nonsense, Quil, my son only turns eighteen once."

"You know I've never gotten that line of reasoning. You only turn every age once. So what makes one year more important?" he questioned. I had to admit, he had me on that one. It was a pretty good question. But Celia doesn't take reasoning very well if it goes against what she wants.

"Shut up, open your presents, and be grateful."

"Yes, Mamma." The boys snickered at Quil's quick obedience to his mother.

"If you want cake, you boys will shut it as well," Emily warned them. They quickly obeyed too.

Emily handed Quil the gift she was holding. He gave her a small, appreciative smile before taking it from her.

"Thanks, Emily."

"Not a problem, Quil." He tore away the paper easily and revealed white box. He opened it up and gasped. I looked over his arm to see some sort of necklace in the box. I recognized it. It had a leather strap, and hanging from it seemed to be a tribal pendant. I'd seen Sam, Embry, and Jared all wearing similar ones, but had never put much thought into them.

"You deserve it, Quil," Sam said in his deep voice. Quil met his eyes and nodded. I was severely confused. He deserved a necklace? Everyone in the pack seemed to get it, as well as the Elders. Guess I would be in the dark by myself as usual. I sighed frustrated.

Leaning over, Quil whispered into my ear, "I'll explain later, okay?" I nodded with a small smile.

Next Jacob and Embry, with big, goofy grins, presented Quil with his next gift. Quil looked at them suspiciously. The two wolves were bouncing with excitement. I had a feeling that they shopped for themselves when they picked out Quil's gift. He ripped away the paper to reveal a case similar to a DVD.

"Oh shit. This is perfect. How did you two already get your hands on this?" Quil shouted excitedly. Again I was left confused.

"Oh you know, we have connections," Embry said evasively.

"What he means is that he made the poor dork in front us that got the last one in stock to hand it over, or the kid would be 'dealt with accordingly'," Jacob added.

Embry just shrugged. "It was the last one in Port Angeles. I didn't want to have to go to Seattle, where we would probably just have to threaten another kid. My way made it easy." Quil just laughed at his friends. I was glad that all the awkwardness seemed to be gone, or at least on its way out.

"Thanks, guys, we'll have to play it later." _Play? So it's a game._ Before he set it down on the table next to him, I got a glimpse. _Call of Duty: Modern-_ something. He moved it before I could read the whole thing. I had a feeling it was one of those fighting games. I really didn't see why he needed that. Between all the guys in the pack, they had like twenty similar games. Whatever, I would never understand the male mind.

The rest of the guys in the pack handed over a few things, some new shorts that were the typical gift to any wolf on any occasion. A new band to secure his shorts to his leg. Apparently his was looking a little worn as of late. Quil's mom seemed thoroughly confused by that gift. Old Quil seemed to distract her by suggesting that she give Quil her gift next. She walked over and handed Quil a small box. He opened the lid and his eyes bulged.

"Mom?"

"He'd want you to have it, Quil." He nodded and pulled a pocket watch.

"I gave that to your dad on his twenty-first birthday. He was going to give it to you then, and I'm a few years early, but I thought it was something that you'd like now," Celia explained.

"Thank you, Momma," he said pulling her into a hug.

"He'd be so proud of you. Proud of the man you've become," she said whipping away a few tears.

"I love you, Momma."

"I love you too, son."

A few other people had gifts for Quil. He had a couple of aunts and uncles that had things for him. When it looked as if everyone was about done giving gifts, I went to stand up. As my daughter kept growing, it was getting harder and harder to stand up.

"What are you doing?" Quil asked alarmed.

"Getting your present. It's in the truck."

"Bella, you didn't have to get me anything. I pretty sure what you gave me this morning was more than enough." And once again, I was confused. I hadn't given him anything.

"This morning?"

"During breakfast…"

"You made breakfast." He sighed. I didn't understand why he didn't just tell me whatever it was that he was referring to.

"After breakfast was made, but before we ate it." I looked at him confused. I felt like I was trying to figure out a riddle. Pregnancy brain was killing me. I felt like my IQ had gone down fifty points in the last six months. "Just before she kicked." _OH, the kiss._

"Oh, that. Well, that wasn't planned. I have real gift for you."

"Taking it back then, I don't want you wasting money on me."

"It's not wasting it. Plus, there are no returns."

"What kind of store doesn't have a return policy?"

"I didn't get your gift at a store. Besides, I know two other people that would be very upset if you made me take back your present." Now it was his turn to be confused. Let's see how he liked being the one in the dark for once.

I left the backyard for the front one. Under the seat, I had hidden his gift. I pulled it out and headed back toward the group. I handed Quil the rectangle gift box. It was wrapped in a kid's birthday wrapping, with sports equipment.

"Love the wrapping, Bells." Jacob called out. I turned and stuck out my tongue at him.

Quil tore away the wrapping and lifted the lid of the box. A huge smile filled his face.

"These are amazing…" he said in awe. I knew I'd done well.

"Well, are you going to tell the rest of us what they are?" Embry complained.

"Mariner's tickets and they're great seats too." Embry and Jacob each took a ticket, and both of their eyes bulged upon reading the seat section.

"How'd you get these, Bells?" Jacob asked keeping his eyes on the ticket in his hand.

"I have connections too."

"Oh please," Leah muttered. I glared at her. I didn't want everyone to know what I did to get those tickets.

"There are three of them," Embry commented. "And there're three of us."

"Wow, Em, you can do math," Quil said rolling his eyes.

"I'm just saying. So Bella, who are the other two tickets meant for?" Embry asked with hope shining in his eyes.

"Well, it's really up to Quil, but I was thinking of you three when I got them. I know the three of you haven't really done anything together in awhile, and I thought this would be a great start." Jacob looked at me with a smile. He knew this was my way of trying to make up for being the reason the three of them stopped being friend to begin with.

"Thanks, Bells," he said pulling me into a hug. I could feel multiple eyes on us. "I think this is perfect to get us back on track. You're the best," he said quietly enough that only I could hear.

"You're welcome," I answered softly.

"This is the best birthday present ever!" Embry proclaimed.

"Yeah, we'll it's my birthday present, and I haven't said that I'm taking you, loony." Quil said with a smug smile.

"What? You'd really do that? Go without me?" Embry asked pushing out his bottom lip.

"Nah, man, I'm joking. It is a pretty damn good present though." He pulled me into a hug. "Thank you so much, Bella." He left a kiss on my cheek and pulled away, slipping his hand around mine.

"Thanks everyone for the presents. It's been a great birthday. My only question is, do I get cake? It is after all my favorite part of a birthday party."

"Yes, you get a cake. It's in the house."

"I'll get it," Emily said walking toward the back door, with Sam close behind her.

A few minutes later she came out carrying a stack of paper plates, and some new forks. Sam carried the massive cake to the table where the food had been previously. He then lit the candles on the cake. We were all gathered around the table, Quil standing in front of the cake.

"Blow the candles out and make a wish, sweetheart," his mother told him.

He closed his eyes for a second before opening them and blowing all the candles out in one blow. Emily started to cut the pieces. She gave each wolf an extra large piece of cake, making them wait for all humans to eat their full of cake before allowing the wolves to finish the cake off themselves.

I was seated with Leah while Quil went to talk to his brothers. It seemed that all anger or resentment was gone and for that I was glad. Part of the reason this party was so important to me was to be able to have Quil reconnect with the rest of the pack. We were quietly enjoying the cake when I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I turned to see Katie standing there, looking uncomfortable. I had been successful in avoiding her and Evelyn all night. The two of them had kept close to one another, not really socializing with anyone else besides their wolves. Now Katie stood there alone. I wasn't sure where her sidekick was. I simply looked at her expectantly.

"May I have a word with you?"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Leah snarled from beside me.

"I just want to clear a few things up," Katie said calmly with little emotion.

"Just keep moving along, Katie. Bella can't be stressed out. It's bad for her and the baby. She doesn't need your shit."

"Look, I don't want to be here at all. This whole situation sucks…for everyone. Call me selfish or insecure, or whatever, but I don't want you to have anything to do with my Jacob. I'm sorry but I can't see you as anything other than a threat to my happiness with my soul mate. Sorry you got the short end of the stick, but I refuse to lose him. Unfortunately, Jacob has tried to make it clear that he still wants you in his life. And if it's his baby you're carrying, he intends to be involved. If that happens then the three of us are going to be forced together more. I want to clarify a few things now."

"I'm not here to take your happiness, Katie."

"And why should I believe you?"

"I left. I left the day after he imprinted on you. I abandoned my life, my family, my friends, and the guy I thought I was spending the rest of my life with. All so Jacob could move on more easily. So that he could get the happily ever after he deserved, that he was destined to have. So that he could be with _you._ I would say that me leaving Forks was giving you a chance at your happiness, not taking it."

"But you're back."

"For my daughter. Regardless of my mistakes, imprinting, or the mythical world that seems to consume my life, she deserves a father, her father. Plus, Jacob and Quil both deserve the right to know that they might be becoming a father. Each deserves the chance to be a dad to his if that's what whoever it turns out to be wants."

"What about Jacob? And you."

"What about him? Us? There is no 'us' anymore. He's yours now and always will be. Jake knows it. I know it. You know it. There's nothing to say. You don't have to worry. I won't be trying to win him back. I know it would be fruitless. I just want Jacob as my friend."

"Just as a friend? You swear?"

"I swear."

"I still don't know how comfortable I feel with the two of you spending time together alone."

"I can understand that, but if Jacob wants to help with the baby, I'm not going to deny him because we don't have someone to chaperone over us."

"Fine, just…please don't take him from me."

"I'm not going to. I've told you that. I honestly don't think I'll be able to convince you either, at least not with words. You're just going to have to learn from time that I'm not here to win Jacob back."

She nodded. "I think you're right about that. Look, I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch. I'm trying not to hate you, because if I look at this from your point of view, I'm the villain. I took everything from you. I'm sorry it had to happen that way, but I'm not sorry that Jacob belongs to me."

It was my turn to nod. I didn't really have a response to that. If I was her I wouldn't be sorry that he belonged to be either. Katie silently took her leave.

"You okay?" Leah asked.

"I'm good." I answered. And I was.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So the confrontation was pretty tamed. I didn't think Katie would really go all ape wild on Bella. At this point, Jacob and Katie would have had many talks about the situation. And I'm sure that Jacob would have made it clear that Bella was in no way at fault here and didn't deserve the treatment that Katie was handing her. So in order for Katie to keep in Jacob's good graces, she would have to be somewhat respectful in this much needed talk with Bella.

**SNEAK PEAK TIME!!** So I've already started on the next chapter and I've decided to give a sneak peak to those who review. So let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	21. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:** Wow, 65 reviews for that last chapter. More than on any other chapter in this story. As amazing as that it, it's also a bit depressing as the average number of reviews on the other chapters is only 21.5 reviews. So to help encourage you all along, I'll update the next chapter after I get at least 33 reviews for this chapter. It's only half the number as the last chapter, so I know that it is EASILY DOABLE.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_Fine, just…please don't take him from me."_

"_I'm not going to. I've told you that. I honestly don't think I'll be able to convince you either, at least not with words. You're just going to have to learn from time that I'm not here to win Jacob back."_

_She nodded. "I think you're right about that. Look, I'm sorry that I've been such a bitch. I'm trying not to hate you, because if I look at this from your point of view, I'm the villain. I took everything from you. I'm sorry it had to happen that way, but I'm not sorry that Jacob belongs to me."_

_It was my turn to nod. I didn't really have a response to that. If I was her I wouldn't be sorry that he belonged to be either. Katie silently took her leave._

"_You okay?" Leah asked._

"_I'm good." I answered_. And I was.

* * *

After the party was over, Quil drove with me back to my house. It was still pretty early, around seven o'clock. Charlie and Sue stayed in La Push. I decided that my curiosity couldn't hold much longer in the truck.

"So are you going to explain this?" I asked playing with the new necklace around his neck.

"It's called a one'seóm he'neho necklace."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"True brother."

"And what is it for?"

"Well, the necklace symbolizes that you're not just in the pack, but that you're a 'true brother'. It's really sort of a real honor to receive one. You have to earn it in the eyes of not only the Alpha, but also the Council. They consider your dedication to the pack, responsibility you've taken on in the pack and in your life. You have to prove yourself worthy of wearing it. Prove that you are a true brother of the pack and the tribe. You have to put others before yourself. There's not a set requirement of things to do, everyone earns it differently and at different times."

"And only Sam, Jared, and Embry have one?"

"Yeah, Paul's not too happy to have been skipped over again. He's going to have to do more outside of the pack to get one. As protectors, we're supposed to be like model citizens, being good examples for the tribe. Paul's temper doesn't really let him do that well."

"What about Jacob? He phased before you did." He sighed.

"That's complicated. There's talk that he won't get his until he finally steps and takes the Alpha position as he is meant to."

"That makes sense somewhat."

"Yeah, but Jacob doesn't want Alpha at all. That would mean that he would never get his one'seóm he'neho. He doesn't think that's fair, that he has to do something so much more extreme than the rest of us. I know he doesn't feel threaten or mad that I got one, not like Paul at least."

"So why now? Why did Sam present you one tonight?"

"Because of the last six months."

"Because of your changes?"

"Yeah, I've taken on more duty in the pack and at the store. I don't goof off like I used to, instead I make use of my time wisely. I help out around the res when someone needs help. I volunteer for patrols, I don't complain. I worked harder in school. I stopped messing around with girls. I've just matured and started to hold myself accountable for my actions and behavior. The Council and Sam are proud of my changes, especially that I did them on my own. Nobody had to order me to do those things, instead I willing on my own did them all. Presenting me with the necklace is their way of acknowledging my work and changes. To show they're proud of what I've done and who I've become as of lately."

"I'm really proud of you too," I said, absent mindedly putting my hand in his. He squeezed my hand softly.

"I know, and that means more to me than this necklace ever could," he said looking over into my eyes. I broke our eye contact and blushed. He was progressively getting braver in his comments. I knew the big conversation would be coming soon. I would have to put an end to all this. I did, right? Because there was no way around imprint. Quil and I could never be, no matter how much either of us wanted it.

He pulled me out of my thoughts. "So are you going to tell me now?" Quil asked.

"Tell you what?" Did he want me to tell him what I was thinking? I wasn't ready for that conversation yet.

"About your mysterious connection." Oh, that. I could handle that, maybe. It was really embarrassing. And I so didn't want to tell him, but it was only fair. He had answered my question.

"If I have to…"

"You do." He said quickly, looking over at me a twinkle in his eyes.

"Fine, so Leah and I went to the box office in Seattle to buy the tickets. The tickets the man tried to sell us were awful. Nosebleed section for sure. I wasn't having that, not for your birthday. Leah told the man that there had to be some better seats somewhere. The man said there were, but he was only authorized to see them to 'Gold Members'."

"Gold Members?"

"Yeah, apparently some businesses have an agreement worked out with the team. If the business sponsors the team, then their employees get access to buy premium seat tickets."

"Oh, okay. That makes sense."

"Yeah, sure for them it does, but it didn't help me."

"So how did you get the tickets then?" Here came the embarrassing part.

"I started to cry."

"Oh, baby, you didn't need to cry. I would have been happy with any seat."

"No, no, no. I didn't cry because I was upset, though I was, but that wasn't why. I cried because Leah and I had already worked out a plan."

"A plan?" sneak peek

"A back up plan if you will, you know, just in case. If they would only give up crappy seats, then I would throw a pregnant woman tantrum. Nobody wants to see that."

He snickered, "You threw a tantrum?"

"Yes, I did, sort of. I started to cry and talk hysterically. I blubbered on how much I wanted to do this one last thing before the baby came and how we wouldn't be able to afford these luxuries after she came. I had slumped to the floor, sobbing wildly. The ticket man was freaking out, trying to calm me down. Saying he would have to call security if I didn't quiet down. Leah yelled at him for saying such a thing. And well, as it turned out, the man has an eight months pregnant wife at home. Apparently she's really hormonal and bursts into tears at the slightest thing. He agreed to sell us the tickets if I would just shut up and leave the premises. Work was his escape from the tears and the pregnancy hormones and I was his worst nightmare."

"You're amazing," Quil told me dotingly.

"How can you say that? I think I scarred that poor man. Now he has no place of quiet solitude."

"I say it because it's true. Who else would go to such dramatics to get me awesome seats to a game? I would have been happy with the very top row, but knowing you cared so much to go through all that, makes the tickets that much more special."

"I'm glad. I really wanted you to like them. And I was hoping that they would help the three of you."

"I think they will, Bella. Jake and I talked a little tonight. I'm not sure that we'll ever be as close as we once were, but we had our first real conversation since before you came back. And what's better is I didn't feel completely guilty during it. I've felt like I had this weight on my shoulders every time I talked to him while you were gone. And now with everything in the open, I feel like I can talk to my friend again."

"I'm sorry you ever felt like you couldn't talk to him."

"Bella, don't you dare start to blame yourself. Seriously, how many times do we have to have this conversation? Nothing was your fault. It was fate and uncontrollable circumstances." He was right; we did have this discussion a lot. We always ended it the same, agreeing to disagree.

"Us sleeping together was an uncontrollable circumstance?" I asked slightly amused.

"Well, not exactly. I mean, once you asked me to kiss you, I started to lose control over my body. My mind was just barely functioning reminding me not to take advantage of the situation. Then when you suggested you wanted more, I was a complete goner."

"Maybe it wasn't just the circumstances that led us to that night, maybe it was the fate part." He looked over at me with small grin.

"You think so, because I sort of do too. I mean, if anyone else had found you, that wouldn't have happened. But it was me, and it did happen. That's got to mean something, right?"

"I don't know. Maybe we'll get lucky and fate will hand us a clue sometime soon."

* * *

The rest of the car ride, all five minutes of it, was quiet. Quil instinctually knew when I went into my little Bella world and he knew when to and not to pull me out of it. He parked the truck and helped me out of it. My growing belly was really becoming an issue.

I went straight to my room after he unlocked the door. Our very busy day had really taken a toll on me. I felt exhausted. Lying on the bed and being off of my feet felt great. I closed my eyes to relish the feeling. I felt a shoe being pulled off. I propped myself up to see Quil pulling the other one off.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I was going to give you a foot massage. Your feet have to be sore and tired after being on them so much."

"You don't have to. It is your birthday after all. I should be giving you the foot massage."

"Bella, I like doing things for you. I like taking care of the two of you."

"You do take care of us, Quil. I don't know what I would do without you."

He snorted. "Bella, without me, you might not be pregnant."

"Maybe, maybe not," I said glumly. I really didn't want to think about what would happen if Quil wasn't the father. Yeah, Katie was more pleasant easier in the night, but life for everyone would be easier with Quil as the daddy to be.

"You know I'm not going anywhere, even if she doesn't turn out to be mine. Bella, I want to be with you, both of you." He said it with sincerity.

"I know you want to be involved regardless, Quil. I-"

"No, Bella, you're not getting what I'm saying. I want you and me to be a couple." I did get what he was saying, but I was trying to redirect the conversation. Obviously he wasn't going to allow that.

"Quil, I- that sounds nice. It does, but-"

"No buts, Bella. That kiss- that kiss this morning was indescribable. It was the single best moment of my life, well, maybe after that one night we shared," he said smiling and with a far off look. He shook his head. "Bella, I want to be with you. I love you." I wanted to say it back. I knew that the feelings had been building inside of me. There was just too much to risk. My heart could only handle so much hurt.

"What about imprinting, Quil? I can't, no I _won't_ go through that again."

"I don't know," he said dropping his head. "But we can figure something out, surely. I'd do anything to be with you, Bella."

"Quil, what's there to do? Don't you think Jacob would have done it?"

"Maybe we missed something. I don't know. I just know that I didn't think I'd ever see you again, and now that you're here, I don't want to lose my chance."

"I don't think-"

"Please, Bella, please give me a chance. I'll make you happy, I know I will."

"I know you would, Quil. That's what sucks so much about this. I know we could be happy. I can see it when I close my eyes, I can see it in my dreams, I can see it your eyes. I just can't set myself up for that hurt again. I can't ignore it."

"What if we don't take the chance and then I never imprint?"

"Quil, you don't know how much I wish that that would be true, that you would never see her. If there was any way to eliminate the chance or even just decrease it significantly, we could give us a try. But I can't, not without some assurance."

We both sat quiet. Both of us lost in our own thoughts. I wish there was a way to make it work. I wanted nothing more than to give my daughter a father and mother who were together and loved one another just as much as they loved her. But even more selfishly, I wanted Quil for myself. He'd turned into such a great guy. He took care of me, but still knew when to back off and let me have my independence. He was mature, responsible, and so dedicated. I knew he would make a great husband to someone, and to my daughter he was going to be a great daughter.

"What if I stopped?" He said whispered, and I could just barely make out the words he spoke.

"What if you stopped what?" I asked confused, looking at him.

He looked me in the eyes. "Phasing," he said a little louder.

"What?"

"If I don't phase, then maybe I won't imprint. Imprinting, it's a wolf thing, if I'm no longer a wolf, then it can't happen, right?" He was grasping at straws. He didn't know if it would do anything, but he was trying. He was trying so hard to find a way for us to be together.

"Well, in theory, I guess, but I don't really know. I mean, imprinting and anything to do with the pack, none of it is fully known. So we don't know if you could still imprint even if you've stopped phasing."

"But it's worth a shot, right? It's enough to make you consider. You said you didn't need absolute certainty, just a really good chance. That's what this could do."

"Quil, how would you give you phasing? Is it even possible?"

"I would try, Bella, I would succeed for us."

"I can't ask that of you, Quil. This- being a wolf is your destiny. It's your birth right."

"I told you, Bella, I would do anything to be with you. If giving up my wolf side meant getting to spend the next sixty plus years with you, I would do so gladly."

"It would have to be soon. The longer you wait the more chance you'll imprint."

"I won't phase again starting this second."

"I'm not saying that. That's a bit exaggerated."

"You tell me when, and I'll do it, Bella."

"Quil what about this?" I asked taking the medallion on the necklace into my hand.

"I told you earlier that you mean more to me than this necklace ever could, or anything behind the thing. If they want it back, then fine, I'll give it back. There are two things that get put before the pack in my mind. You and the baby. The pack comes after you two. Sam would understand, I think."

"You're completely serious about this?"

"Dead serious, Bella. Give us a shot. Please, baby. I'll take care you. I'll never leave you if I can control it at all. I'll love you like you deserve. So what do you say? Can we try if I stop phasing?"

"Quil, I…"

* * *

**Author's Note:** What do you think of the one'seóm he'neho necklace? It does mean 'true brother', more specifically 'true older brother' from what I could research. It is actually Cheyenne though, as I couldn't find Quileute translations on the Internet. Many of you read about the baseball ticket adventure, for those who hadn't, what did you think? Did you think Bella could be such a drama queen? And the BIG question, what will Bella say to Quil's idea?

Remember the next update won't be until after review 510.

Also, Team SOB is currently taking votes for their second challenge, "The Rain Scene Challenge". So head over and read some awesome one-shots and vote for your favorite three.

http://www(.)fanfiction(.)net/u/2046940


	22. Chapter 21

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone! Thanks for the great reviews for chapter 20. This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but it gives Bella's answer and sets things up for the next chapter.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_I told you earlier that you mean more to me than this necklace ever could, or anything behind the thing. If they want it back, then fine, I'll give it back. There are two things that get put before the pack in my mind. You and the baby. The pack comes after you two. Sam would understand, I think."_

"_You're completely serious about this?"_

"_Dead serious, Bella. Give us a shot. Please, baby. I'll take care you. I'll never leave you if I can control it at all. I'll love you like you deserve. So what do you say? Can we try if I stop phasing?"_

"_Quil, I…"_

* * *

"Quil, I… think we should talk to Sam and the Council before we make any big decisions."

"Okay, I agree. But if they think me ceasing to phase will reduce or eliminate me imprinting, you'll consider letting us be together?"

"Yeah, Quil, I think will."

"Yeah?" He asked smiling broadly. "Really, we can be together?"

"After we talk to the Elders and only if they think you stopping will actually help." Quil leaned over, taking my face into his hands.

"Thank you," he breathed out before placing his lips upon mine.

He meant it as a sweet, short kiss, but I wanted more. I wouldn't let myself tell him with words that I had fallen in love with him, but I could tell him in that kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held myself close to him. He quickly responded by enclosing my body into his arms. I licked his bottom lip wanting entrance, and he instantly gave it to me opening his mouth. It had only been that morning since I last kissed him, but that felt like a lifetime ago. He guided me back so that I reclined on the bed. He started to leave kisses along my jaw and down my neck.

"I love you so much, Bella," he whispered in between kisses. "I will worship you." He moved my shirt up, placing sweet kisses on my belly. "I will care and support you both."

He moved back up my body, keeping a hand on my stomach, and hovered over my lips. I wished that he would just lean down a little further, so our lips could connect. I tried to move my head up, but he was keeping me in place. I whimpered in response.

"Bella, we need to stop." _What? Did he change his mind?_

"W- why?"

"'Cause if we don't stop now, I think that my body might do that whole take over thing again. I don't want to lose control, Bella. Not when I just got you to agree to give us a shot."

"I want you lose control. I want you to make love to me, Quil." His eye popped open wide, his mouth open and jaw slacked.

"Wh-what? Bella, I- What?" He was looking at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. Why would he want me when I was all fat?

"Oh, never mind."

"No, I mean, I just thought that- I assumed that you'd want to wait to go any further until after we spoke to Sam and the Council."

"So it's not because I'm fat?" I asked quietly.

"Bella, no! God, how could even think that? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"But I'm fat, how could you think that?"

"Bella, you aren't fat," he said rolling his eyes. "You're pregnant. I'd be worried if you were still the same size you were when you left almost seven months ago. And I'll let you in on a secret."

"A secret?"

"Yeah, a secret," he whispered leaning down to my ear. "I think you're even sexier how you are now." I blushed furiously.

"You lie."

"I don't lie. I only speak the truth. Your hips are wider, giving you more curves. These babies," he said taking my breasts into each of his hands, "are spectacular. I was a fan of them before, but now, I have to force myself not to just stare at them or reach out for them." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I refused to look at him. He had to be lying, trying to make me feel better. "And this," he said adoringly placing a kiss on my stomach, "is my favorite part of your new body. You aren't fat, Bella, you're caring new life. That's something special, 'cause I sure as hell can't do that. The changes that your body has made are simply signs of the miracle that you're carrying. I don't care what that test says, you're carrying my daughter in there. So don't go knocking this body. It's doing amazing things."

I couldn't fathom how I had gotten so lucky to have him by my side. It seemed unreal, too good to be true. This meant that it wouldn't work. Not phasing wouldn't stop imprinting. That was the only explanation I could think of. I would lose him down the road. But in that moment, he was mine. He wanted me and I wanted him. My heart would hurt the day he imprinted regardless if we were together. I wanted one night to forget about imprinting and pretend that I didn't know that his theory wouldn't work. I would give him, us this one night. We could face reality tomorrow.

"You always know exactly what to say, Quil."

"Well, I'd like to think I have a pretty good way with words," he said smirking.

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Your wish is my command," he said leaning back down to my mouth. His lips were so warm. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him down closer. I dug my fingers into his hair and pull on his dark locks. He growled into the kiss. The kiss escalated quickly and without knowing how it happened, my shirt was gone and Quil's hand was moving to release my bra.

His lips moved restlessly against mine, our tongues dueling for control. My hands moved to the bottom of his shirt, wanting it off. He tossed aside the bra and broke the kiss. He yanked off his t-shirt and tossed it to the side as well. Quil was staring at my bare stomach and chest. I moved my hands over my large stomach.

"Don't you going doing that, Bella. I thought I told you that this was my favorite part." He placed a few kisses on my stomach and started to work his way up. He took one of my nipples into his mouth and my eyes fluttered shut as the moan left my lips.

I felt his hands start to undo the button on my jeans. I lift my hips so that he could pull them off. His mouth traveled across my collar bone and then up my neck. As his mouth reconnected with mine, he moved his hands to my face and brought his body closer to mine. There was no room between us and could feel his excitement pushed against me. He groaned as moved my hips against his.

One of my hands worked its way through his hair and the other worked to remove his shorts. I pulled my mouth away from his so I could catch my breath. Quil was breathing just as hard. He shifted some to lose his pants and rested his head on my shoulder.

I trembled when I felt him start to rub himself against my core.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"Yes, Quil," I said quickly, wanting to feel inside of me.

His answer was to push himself into me. We both let out deep groans at the contact. The feeling was amazing and I didn't want to lose it. I had come to terms that I was undeniably in love with Quil. And I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't just yet. I was hoping against all hope that the Council would have good news for us.

**

* * *

**

Author's Note:

So I was planning on going a little more in depth with the end of this chapter, but since Fanfiction is starting to pull lemony goodness stories, I went light. Sorry, you'll just have to use your imagination and fill in the blanks. Up next is the conversation with the Council. What will they say?! 


	23. Chapter 22

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

**_Previously on Learning to Live Again…_**

_"Are you sure about this?" he asked._

_"Yes, Quil," I said quickly, wanting to feel inside of me._

_His answer was to push himself into me. We both let out deep groans at the contact. The feeling was amazing and I didn't want to lose it. I had come to terms that I was undeniably in love with Quil. And I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't just yet. I was hoping against all hope that the Council would have good news for us. _

* * *

I woke up from the best night's sleep I had ever had. I felt warm and I knew Quil was still by my side. Smiling I rolled over to see him. He was awake staring at me.

"Good morning, babies," he said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, really good."

"Yeah, me too. You want to go to La Push today? Charlie left awhile to go fishing with Billy. Sue's downstairs fixing you breakfast."

"La Push definitely. I want talk to Sam as soon as we can."

"Okay, baby, me too. Let's get some food in you and them we can find Sam."

So I took a shower and got dressed. After I was ready for the day, Quil and I headed down the stairs. He followed me into the kitchen. Sue was leaning over the stove.

"Good morning, Bella, how are you to- Oh Quil, I didn't realize you were here."

"Um, yes ma'am. That's not a problem is it? I can leave and come back?"

"Well, no point in leaving now. From the looks of your clothes you haven't been gone yet." I blushed knowing that Sue knew the truth. I hadn't even thought about him wearing the same clothes as at the party. "Don't worry, kids, I won't tell your father. I mean really what's the worry, you're already pregnant."

"Right well, Bella's going to eat and then we'll get out of your way."

"You make it sound like you're not eating, Quil."

"I don't want to be a bother. I can get something later."

"Nonsense, you'll eat here."

"Thanks, Sue."

Sue finished setting up breakfast, doubling the amount of food on the able. We all sat down at the kitchen table. After Quil had stuffed down his entire plate, he looked at Quil.

"Sue, what would it take to gather up the council today?"

"Is something wrong?" She looked worried.

"No, I just have a question for them and Sam. I'm not sure if Sam will know the absolute answer."

"What's this about, the baby?"

"Not exactly. It's about me."

"Billy is fishing this morning, but we could all meet around six I suppose."

"Okay, thanks. I'll speak with Sam first to see if it will be necessary."

"Or you could just tell me what this is all about now?" Quil looked to me for permission. I nodded though I didn't think he needed to ask me permission.

"I want to know what happens after we stop phasing, if stopping will also stop imprinting?"

"Oh! Well, that's a mighty loaded question. Are considering the idea of stopping phasing?"

"Yes, I am."

"But why?"

"I would think the question would explain that pretty well itself. I want to be with Bella and I can't do that if I'm going to imprint."

"Oh my, this will not be easily accepted." That didn't sound hopeful.

* * *

Sue thought meeting with the Council and Sam would be well advised, as Quil would need permission to stop if we got the answer to imprinting we wanted. We didn't look for Sam, figuring it would be easier to explain and ask only once.

So there I sat in front of the Council of Elders and Sam. I was a nervous wreck. If Sue was right, Quil and I might not be able to be together. I wasn't feeling very confident under the narrowed gazes of the Council.

"So, Quil and Bella, tell us why you've requested our audience tonight," Billy spoke.

"Well, to begin with, I have a question," Quil spoke anxiously.

"Go on, son," Old Quil encouraged.

"I wish to know if imprinting will discontinue if a wolf stops phasing."

The whole Council sat shocked, with the exception of Sue. Sam wore his typical mask of no emotion. The Council looked to be absorbing the question.

"There is no known wolf that has imprinted after he stopped phasing. But that doesn't mean that it can't happen, only that it hasn't in the past," Sam spoke.

"Why are you asking such a thing, Quil?" His grandfather asked through narrow eyes.

Quil once again looked at me. Though this time I knew that he was asking if what Sam had said was enough. Was it enough for us to give us a chance to be together?

I smiled and nodded my head. With my luck Quil would be the first retired wolf to imprint, but I would enjoy my time with him. He was worth the hurt. I wouldn't waste our chance to be happy and a family. The sigh of relief followed by the wide grin on his face told me I made the right decision.

"I want to quit, I want to retire." That was a little blunter than I was expecting. I though he might work them into the idea smoothly.

"Quit what, Quil?" Billy asked wearily, as if he was afraid of the answer but already knew it.

"Phasing. I don't want to be a wolf anymore."

"Why the hell would you want that, boy?" Asked the elder I wasn't familiar with.

"Quil looked over at me and took a deep breath. "I don't want to imprint. And this seems the only way to avoid it."

"Why wouldn't you want to find your soul mate?" Inquired the same man.

"Bella is who I want. I'm willing to do anything to be with her." He let go of my hand so that he could wrap his arms around me.

"I swear! Is this girl the pack bicycle? Everyone seems to get a ride." Old Quil yelled out. I looked to the floor, sure my face was bright red with embarrassment. Quil let out a low, but loud growl.

"You won't talk to her that way, Grandfather."

"Am I to assume this is the same girl that used to belong to Jacob Black? Is she the same one that is the _alleged_ mother to be of a wolf's child?" The nameless Elder asked.

"Alleged? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Quil asked heatedly.

"Well, there's no way to know if there's any other possible fathers. Who knows if either wolf is actually the father?" Old Quil asked. _How dare he say such things about me._

"Hey, that's not-" I started.

"Silence!" Billy shouted. "Bella, as an outside guest you cannot speak unless asked to."

"You can't just talk to her that way. She doesn't deserve your rude remarks, from any of you." Quil said before leaving a kiss on my cheek.

"I agree with Quil," Sam said, speaking for the first time. "As a guest, she deserves our respect and hospitality."

"You're right, Alpha," Sue affirmed. "Bella is no the topic at hand. Quil is and whether or not will release him of his duty."

"No."

"Grandfather, just try to understand. Please listen to me."

"You have my vote. I won't let you give up your honor. It is a privilege to be a pack member. You will no disgrace our family by turning you back on your tribe."

"I'm not turning my back, I'm-"

"That is exactly what you are trying to do."

"I can find another way to serve the tribe. But I need to do this for me. This may be my daughter, and I want her to have a complete family. I don't want to imprint down the line and start another family. I don't want this little girl to feel unloved or unworthy. I don't want her mother to feel that way either." The room was silent. Old Quil wouldn't look at Quil. Finally it was Billy to break the silence.

"Anyone having anything else to add?" Silence continued on. "Fine, let's take a vote," Billy instructed. "Sue?"

"Yes, give the two of them a chance."

"Quil?"

"No, my grandson still has a job to do."

"Rafe?" _Ah, finally a name to the face._

"No, tribe first, self second."

"Levi?" I looked over at Sam's grandfather. The man had remained silent the entire meeting.

"Yes," he said firmly.

"What? Are you mad?" Old Quil asked. Obviously Old Quil was confident that his friend would vote the same way as he did.

"I know my grandson loves his imprint. But I also know how much it killed him to hurt his previous love. Bella has already been hurt this way herself. I think wolves leaving the ones they choose to love twice in one pack are quite enough."

"That makes the vote two to two. The decision lies with you, Billy," Sue said.

"Let me ask you a few questions, Quil, before I decide." Quil nodded. "Do you plan on being with Bella regardless of the paternity of the baby?"

"Yes, sir, I do. I want Bella no matter what."

"You say no matter what, how far would you really go? If we deny you, what will be your next move?" _There wouldn't be one left,_ I thought.

"I would leave the tribe," Quil said with his head held high.

I gasped and looked at him wide eyed. How could he possible say such a thing?

"No, Quil, I won't let you do that," I told him.

"Bella, I meant every word I've told you. I'd do anything for you and the baby. We can live in Forks if you want. If she's Jake's daughter we'll still be close enough by. It'll work, I promise." Tears started to roll down my face. I didn't want him to give up so much for me. I wasn't worth it. "Don't cry, baby. It will be all right. I'll make it right."

"No need. I vote yes, on a condition though."

"Yes, to whatever it is."

"You wait until after the birth and paternity test. I want both of you to think this through thoroughly in the mean time." I couldn't hide the smile. We would get to be a family. Quil nuzzled his nose along my neck. He turned back to the Council.

"We agree to that. Thank you, thank you so much," Quil said excitedly.

"I'm trusting you take care of them, both of them, Quil."

"I will, Billy, I swear by it."

"All right, meeting adjourned then." I left Quil's side to go to Billy. I bent down and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"You deserve happiness, Bella. I'll always think of as another daughter. So when, not if, Quil screws up, I'll beat him upside the head for you to straighten him out." I laughed and Quil groaned.

"Thanks, Billy, I might take you up on that."

"Bella!" Quil whined. "I think you dad and his guns will be more than enough to keep me in line. Especially when my healing beings to decrease, I won't be up for taking chances."

"I won't let him get the guns out."

"Well, if you old folks don't mind, I'd like to take my _girlfriend_ out to dinner. Man, that feels good. Girlfriend, I like that." He kissed my neck and nipped at it. "Mine."

Yes, I was his. And I would stay that way as long as I was allowed.


	24. Chapter 23

**Author's Note:** It's late, but it's also relatively long.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_You wait until after the birth and paternity test. I want both of you to think this through thoroughly in the mean time." I couldn't hide the smile. We would get to be a family. Quil nuzzled his nose along my neck. He turned back to the Council._

"_We agree to that. Thank you, thank you so much," Quil said excitedly._

"_I'm trusting you take care of them, both of them, Quil."_

"_I will, Billy, I swear by it."_

"_All right, meeting adjourned then." I left Quil's side to go to Billy. I bent down and hugged him tightly._

"_Thank you," I said softly._

"_You deserve happiness, Bella. I'll always think of as another daughter. So when, not if, Quil screws up, I'll beat him upside the head for you to straighten him out." I laughed and Quil groaned._

"_Thanks, Billy, I might take you up on that."_

"_Bella!" Quil whined. "I think you dad and his guns will be more than enough to keep me in line. Especially when my healing beings to decrease, I won't be up for taking chances."_

"_I won't let him get the guns out."_

"_Well, if you old folks don't mind, I'd like to take my _girlfriend_ out to dinner. Man, that feels good. Girlfriend, I like that." He kissed my neck and nipped at it. "Mine." _

_Yes, I was his. And I would stay that way as long as I was allowed._

* * *

We left the Council building and headed for one of the local diners. I was felt like I was walking on then air, like nothing could wrong. Well, as long as Quil's imprint didn't show up in the next three months.

We slid into the booth, my belly just fitting in between the table and chair. Quil slid in beside me.

"You can't sit on your side?"

"Nope. Now that you're mine, I'm not letting go," he said wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I rested my head against him. "That sounds perfect."

"Hi, can I get the two of you something to drink?"

I looked up to see a girl smiling down at us. I felt my heart clench. Suddenly I realized how miserable the next three months could be. What if she was his imprint? What if the next girl he sees is? Too many possibilities.

Quil look up at her and smiled politely. "Two waters for my girlfriend and me." I sighed, nothing in the look, and only reassurance in his words. I was who he wanted and he was willing to take the steps to keep it that way.

The girl came back a few minutes later with our waters and took our orders before she left. Baby had me feeling starved. I assumed by the girl's reaction to Quil's long order that she'd never served one of the pack members.

While we waited for our food, Quil continuously nuzzled into my neck and placed kisses wherever his lips could reach. I closed my eyes and relaxed in his arms. I was safe, I was cared for, I was happy. My contentment was cut short by the sound of someone sitting in the seat across from us.

"What do you think you two are doing?" I knew that voice. I opened my eyes to a disapproving Sam. _What is his problem? We just got the okay, the seal of approval._

"We're doing just what I told you and the Elders what we were going to do. I'm eating dinner with my girlfriend."

"I understand that. But do you have to be so physical about it?"

"I just got the girl I love to agree to be in a relationship with me and I have the approval of the Council as well. I'm not going to hold back."

"I just think that maybe you could limit the intimate touches until after we've all spoken to the pack. I don't think seeing the two of you being so loving in public is the best way for them to find out, particularly Jacob. I don't see that going well even behind closed doors."

"Jacob should be happy for us. Or does he want Bella raising the baby alone."

"Think if you were in his shoes, Quil. He's probably going to be upset that he didn't get this same opportunity."

"He didn't ask for it, I did. I thought about what it would take to be with Bella instead of ignoring the possible problem like it wasn't there. It's his fault that he didn't think proactively. I did, because I want her, I want Bella more than anything."

"So did Jacob once upon a time. And I'm sure if he had thought this was an option, he would have considered it." I had thought of that. I felt bad, seeing as I loved Quil now, but I couldn't help but think of the 'what ifs' if Jacob had stopped phasing. But then again, I didn't think the Council would have as easily given into the idea. Jacob was meant to be Alpha. They wouldn't just let him give that up completely. And it was that thought that I held on to. Even if he had thought of this, it wouldn't have been allowed. So really there was no point in thinking 'what if'.

"Look, Jacob and I seem to be on pretty good terms again, and I hope this doesn't change that. But I'm not going to let him not thinking of this option himself in the past affect me and my future with Bella."

"I get that, Quil. Just think of his feelings though. Seeing the two of you together will no doubt be hard, even if he has his own imprint."

"He has a point, Quil," I added.

I knew Jacob would hurt. He had accepted that there would no longer be an us, a Jake and Bells, but I knew he finding out that there was a possibility of an us and he didn't take it would cut him deeply regardless if the Elders wouldn't have permitted it.

"I know he does. I just don't want anyone to mess this up for us."

"He might get upset at first, but I'm sure that with time he can accept it, accept us."

"Maybe."

"Well, I left Emily at our table alone, so I'm going to head back over there. Just keep what I said in mind. At least until we can tell the pack."

"And when do you think we can do that?" I asked. I just wanted all the obstacles out of the way. I wanted to have Quil fully and enjoy our relationship as much as we could as long as we could.

"Tomorrow after the boys get of out of school. Does that sound good to you two? I think we should do it before you patrol tomorrow night, Quil."

"That sounds fine to me. Bella, can you come down tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I can."

"All right, see you both at my house around three."

"Goodnight, Sam."

"Night, Bella, Quil."

"Sam."

As he walked away, our waitress came with our mountain of food. We ate in silence for a bit before I broke the silence.

"Truthfully, how do you think Jacob will react?"

"Not well, not well at all. And I can understand that, because if I was him I would react badly too. He, honestly, didn't know that there was any way to keep you. But it's not my fault that I thought of a way and he didn't. I'm not saying it means that I love you more that I did either. I guess it's luck of the draw. I couldn't ignore the possibility of imprinting like he did. You agreed to date him regardless of the possibility. You wouldn't date me with it, so if I wanted you, which I do more than anything, I had to come up with something. I'm sure if you'd given him the same options he would have eventually come up with the same solution. Jake's smart, he could have come up with this same idea if he felt the need to. He just was naïve enough to think that imprinting couldn't happen to him if he didn't want it to."

I think everything he said rang with truth. Had I made Jacob give me real assurance that imprinting wouldn't come between us neither of us could have ignored it like we did. Outwardly we ignored the existence of imprinting; inwardly I feared it on a daily basis. And in the end it ripped us apart without warning. We were both to blame. We both disregarded imprinting like it was of no importance. We learned nothing from Sam, Emily and Leah's situation. At least they had an excuse. They didn't actually believe imprinting was a true part of the legends. No, Jacob and I had no excuse. We were young, foolish, and thought our love was invincible.

"I think with time he'll accept us."

"And if he doesn't, Bella?"

"Then- well, I'm not sure."

"Does our relationship hinge on his approval?" I looked over him. He looked worried.

"Of course not, Quil. The only things that can take me away from you are imprinting or if you choose another path for yourself."

"Well, good because I'm not choosing any other path and we won't let imprinting ruin this for us."

"There's still almost three months to worry about."

"I won't leave this reservation unless I have to. And then I'll just keep my eyes on the ground."

"Jacob imprinted on the res."

"Bella, I can't promise with absolute certainty that I won't imprint between now and the birth. I can promise that I don't want to imprint, that I want to remain yours. I can promise to avoid eye contact with other girls as much as I can. I can promise to love you as greatly as I can each day."

"That's more than I can ask for." Quil sighed deeply.

"No, Bella, it's not. You deserve someone that can guarantee you tomorrow, and even more that that, three months or even a lifetime."

"I'm not asking for that, Quil. I just want you as long as I'm allowed."

"You deserve more."

"Well, I'm not going to be picky. I'm just going to take what I'm given."

"I love you so much, Bella. I don't want hurt you." I felt my breath hitch. He'd always implied that he loved me. I knew he did. And I loved him. As quickly and rushed as it had happened, I was in love with Quil Ateara. I could admit that to myself. How could I not? In just the past few weeks, he had been amazing to me. But point was that neither of us had actually said it out loud. Not directly at least.

"I love you too, Quil. And you're worth it." A goofy smile adorned his face.

"You love me?"

"I do," I said smiling.

"I love you more than I ever thought possible, Bella." He placed a small kiss on my lips. "Now I guess I better not do that again until after we leave. Don't want the big, bad Alpha to come and get us." I giggled at the thought. We were like students hiding from the principal. It felt weird but as normal. Like there wasn't all the drama or supernatural going on around us. We were just two kids in love.

We enjoyed the rest of our dinner happily and not as touchy feely. Later, Quil drove me back to Charlie's. After making it seemed as if he had left back for La Push, he came in through my window. Sue may not mind Quil staying over, but Charlie would go red in the face if he knew. Pregnant or not, I was his daughter and this was his house.

* * *

I woke up the next morning alone and disappointed. Laid next to me was a note. I picked the slip of paper up and read it.

'_My beautiful Bella,_

_I am sorry to leave before you woke up. I didn't want to disturb you when I left. You and our baby girl need all the rest you can get. I had to leave for school. Hopefully, this is my last Monday having to do so. I'll meet you at Sam's at three o'clock._

_Love you with my whole heart,_

_Quil'_

Smiling, I set the note on my nightstand. I rubbed my belly.

"Looks like it just you and me, little girl." I climbed out of bed and got ready for the day. After my shower and getting dressed, I headed downstairs to fix myself some breakfast. I wasn't really feeling up to cooking, so I reached for the Cheerios. I felt a sharp kick into my ribs.

"Ouch. Okay, how about scrambled eggs?" I felt nothing, so I assumed that she was satisfied with eggs. The second and third months of my pregnancy, she did not like eggs and she made that clear with my many trips to the bathroom. Granted I didn't know at the time that it was her causing that reaction, but looking back I knew it was.

I fixed the eggs and a couple pieces of toast. I lathered each with pile of strawberry jam. I finished eating breakfast and cleaned up my dishes. I sat down with a glass of milk.

"What should we do today, baby?"

I really didn't want to sit around doing nothing. I'd done a lot of that. As much work as Quil's party had been, I enjoyed it. It gave me something to work on while everyone else was at work or school. The lack of anything to do led me back to the thought that I really needed a job. But I had to be truthful with myself. Who would hire a woman in her third trimester? Not many, that's who. I did know one person; I just had to suck up my pride.

I found myself outside of the general store debating on if I really wanted to go in. On one hand I needed a job and being almost seven months pregnant did not do wonders for a resume. On the other I didn't want a job out of pity or whatever it was that Celia felt toward me. Sucking up my pride I climbed out of the truck. When I walked through the front door, the little bell above it rang. An elder woman that I had never seen was sitting behind the counter. I approached her.

"Excuse me?" She looked up at me with a smile. Taking in my swollen stomach, recognition filled her face.

"You must be Bella, dear. Oh my, that looks like one healthy baby. How far along are you?

"Yes, that's me. And I am just about seven months. I was wondering if Celia was around."

"Oh goodness, yes. She's upstairs. Can you make it up, or would you like me call for her?" I wasn't sure, looking at the woman, if she could make it up the stairs any better than I could.

"It may take me a little bit, but I can make it up."

"All right, dear. It was nice to meet you."

"You too, thanks."

I made my way to the back of the store and up the stairs that lead to the soon to be apartment space. In the stairwell I could hear a lot of banging going on up there. I waddled my way up the steps one at a time. I was beginning to think the apartment might not be a good idea for a clumsy and very pregnant Bella. A hand rail on both sides was going to be needed before I moved in. At the top of the stairs I opened the door and let myself in.

Walking through the door, I was shocked. The once large, bare single room was gone. There were wall built creating individual rooms. I stood still in what would be the living room just looking all around me. I had been there just the week before and none of this was there. Clearly Celia moved fast.

"Bella." I turned to see Celia smiling at me from the soon to be kitchen.

"Hello, Celia."

"How are you this morning? Good, I presume."

"I am good, thank you." She stood beaming at me. "You seem rather happy as well."

"Well, seeing my son so happy this morning was enough to put me in a rather good mood."

"You saw Quil?"

"Yes, when he came home this morning to get ready for school." My eyes widen in realization. I had been so concerned with Charlie not knowing about Quil's sleepovers that I had complete forgotten about what Quil's mom would think. "Don't worry, Bella. He's a big boy, he can stay out if he wants. I trust him. Which I know sounds funny as I am standing in front of the girl that he may have knocked up, but I do. He's a changed man from then."

"Yes, he is."

"So you're finally giving my boy a shot, right? Quil wouldn't say a word."

"Um, I can't really say right now."

"That's a good enough answer for me. It's written all over both of your faces."

"Well…" I stopped wondering what to say. I knew I sucked at lying, but more than that I just didn't want to lie to his mother.

Celia smiled knowingly. "You don't have to say another word. Like I've told you before, a mother knows."

"All right. I'll let you believe what you want to believe for now."

"Right, anyway, I assume you stopped by for a reason."

"Actually, yes, I did. I think I may take you up on your job offer. Things are going to get expensive soon, and not many places are going to hire someone in my condition."

"Well, I would love to have you, dear. You can start whenever you want. I am assuming that you can't be on your feet too much."

"The doctor upgraded me from twenty minutes to an hour on my feet. But he suggested sticking as close to a half hour as possible."

"Right, that's fine. We can work with that. I've been thinking of something that would work well for the both of us and I think I know exactly what it would be."

"Okay…"

"Talia, my book keeper, is getting a bit older. She's been dropping hints about wanting to retire from her duties. I've been a bit hesitant to acknowledge the hints. Talia has been keeping the books for the store since long before I married into the family. I think she's worked here for around thirty years. Anyway, as much as I love the store, I'm more management of people, not books and numbers. But Quil's told me that you did really well in school. So I was thinking that you could learn from Talia over the next couple of months. Then after you get settled with the baby, you could take over and she could retire. She manages the payroll, accounts, and inventory, really anything that involves numbers. What do you think?"

"I think it sounds like more that what I expected. I honestly just thought you'd let me bag groceries." I was expecting a full time position like that, but I should have known. Celia was a get her way kind of person.

"Bella, you are much too smart for that. I can't let your brains go to waste if you're already going to be working for me. I think this will be the best fit for everyone involved. Don't you?"

"Well, yeah, it sounds like a great opportunity."

"Then it's settled then." The woman did not take no for an answer. And really I'd have to be stupid to pass up such an opportunity. La Push did not offer many positions such as this one. Normally you would have to go to Forks or even Port Angeles to get this kind of job.

"Thank you, Celia."

"No, thank you, Bella. I mean it when I say that you're like an angel in my eyes. You have completely transformed my son."

"No, if anything, I should be thanking you for raising such amazing guy. I don't know what I would do without Quil. He's been better with this whole situation than I could have asked of any man."

"He loves you. And because of that he's the man he is. I helped raise him, yes, but you finished off the process. Really, Bella, I feel like we have this conversation every time we see one another. Quil's who is because of both of us. Let's leave it at that."

"Okay, Celia."

"Good, now when do you want to start? I can talk to Talia today. She's actually working downstairs for me while I dealt with the contractor this morning."

"Oh, she's the one at the counter?" Celia nodded. "Oh, then I met her. She told me where you were."

"Okay good. Let's head down and have a chat with her about the specifics then. I'm done up here. By the way, what do you think? I know it's still a work in progress, but things are coming along nicely if I do say so myself."

"It's great, really. I was shocked to see so much done."

"The walls are up, the plumbing is done, and the electric is as well. You'll need to pick out paint this week. The flooring will be done next week. It looks as if everything will be ready for you to move in here in about three weeks. I know you'll be pretty far along then, so if you want to wait until after the baby is born, that would be okay."

"Um, I don't know. I mean, I'd hate to be here by myself and still pregnant. I don't want to go in to labor on my own. Having Sue and Charlie close by would be nice."

"I'm sure that Quil would stay with you here."

"You wouldn't mind that?"

"Of course not, Bella. Why would I? To be honest, I think he would prefer this. He wouldn't have to sneak in or out here."

"I suppose not."

"But ultimately it's up to you."

"All right, I'll think about it."

"Okay, let us go talk to Talia then."

We went down the stairs and chatted with Talia. She beamed at the idea. She'd been dropping hints because she was hoping that Celia would find a replacement before she left. Talia didn't want to leave the store empty handed. We agreed that I would start on Wednesday. That gave me the following day to get done anything I needed before I started working.

After we got things settled, I headed for the truck. I didn't see any sense in driving back to Forks only to come back down for the pack meeting. Jacob and Quil would both be in school, so I decided on someone else to hang out with.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hope you all liked it. Who do you think she's visiting? Better yet, how do you think Jacob's going to react?


	25. Chapter 24

**Author's Note:** So sorry! Don't hate me for the long waits lately. Grad school courses are laying it all on thick. Between multiple group projects, individual projects, tests, homework, and my job, I hardly have time to sleep, much less write. Not sure when _**Waiting in the Sunlight**_ will be updated. I can promise it will be up as soon as I c an, but I have no clue when that will be.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_We went down the stairs and chatted with Talia. She beamed at the idea. She'd been dropping hints because she was hoping that Celia would find a replacement before she left. Talia didn't want to leave the store empty handed. We agreed that I would start on Wednesday. That gave me the following day to get done anything I needed before I started working._

_After we got things settled, I headed for the truck. I didn't see any sense in driving back to Forks only to come back down for the pack meeting. Jacob and Quil would both be in school, so I decided on someone else to hang out with. _

* * *

I pulled up to the house around noon. I carefully extracted myself from the truck. Regretfully that was one thing that would need to change when the baby arrived. My old truck was not baby safety approved. I wasn't too sure how I was going to afford something that was new and nice enough to drive a baby in. Maybe I could pick something cheap and broken, and I could pay Jacob to fix it. Sighing, I turned toward the house and walked up the steps. I knocked on the door and waited. After a few minutes I knocked a little harder.

"This better be important, Quil!" The front door ripped open and a scowling Leah stood before me.

"You're not Quil."

"No, I'm not." She sniffed the air.

"I can hardly smell you. You reek of him."

"Oh," I said, not sure what else there was to say.

"Why do you smell like him?" Weird question if it would have come from any normal human being. Only I didn't appear to have the capability to hang out with normal, run of the mill mortals. It just wasn't in the stars for me, and I was perfectly fine with that.

"I was with him this morning." Not a total lie. I was, even if I wasn't awake for it.

"Uh huh," she said with her eyes narrowed. "Well, to what do I owe today's visit?"

"I needed something to do and everyone else has a life, work or school."

Leah snorted. "Gee, thanks, Bella."

"It's true. You have just as much life as I do. Though starting real soon I'll have a life."

"Meaning what?"

"I got a job today."

"Where?" I took a look around. The clouds looked like they could open up and drown me at any moment.

"Can I come inside and tell you, or are you going to make the pregnant lady stand outside all day and quite possibly catch pneumonia?"

"No need to pull the knocked up card out. All you had to say was that you planned on staying awhile," she joked.

Leah opened the door wider so that I could go inside. We walked into her living room and sat down on the couches. The room looked almost identical as it did when Sue still lived there. Only a few pictures were missing from the mantel.

"Well, I thought you could figure that out. Sorry I overestimated you."

"You sure are in a feisty mood today."

"Only with you, Leah, only with you. Someone has to give you crap, and all the guys are too chicken to do it."

"Aw, but they are, aren't they? I like it that way. More fun for me," she said beaming.

"You have to be able to take it if you plan to give it."

"I can take it; I just like giving it better."

"Whatever."

"So what about this job?"

"It's for Quil's mom. I'm going to take over the payroll, inventory, and other stuff like that."

"Sounds like something that you could do well."

"I hope so. It sounds like a lot of responsibility. More than I would give a twenty year old. One mess up with me and I could screw up the whole business."

"I think you're over exaggerating a bit, Bella. Plus, I think when you're having a child, people tend to assume, or at least hope, that you're responsible."

"It was irresponsibility that landed me this way."

"No, you practiced safe sex both times, so bad luck landed you this way. Well, that fate, destiny or some other shit like that. Who knows, not me that's for sure. And when I say hoping, I meant that if you're planning on raising the egg you're cooking, most would hope that you would at least be on you're way to being responsible."

"I guess. And I am, responsible that is, for the most part. I still think she's only giving the job to me because of Quil being possible daddy number two."

"Well, duh. I mean, no offense, you're a great person and all, but she'd have no reason to even give you a second thought if it wasn't for the fact that you may hold her first grandchild in there," she said pointing to my enlarged belly. I swore I could see it grow before my eyes.

"What happens if she's not his?"

"If it doesn't matter to Quil, then I don't think it will matter to her either. Have you given any more thought about that?"

"More thought about what?"

"Quil and being with him."

Ugh, not what I wanted us to talk about. I didn't really know what I wanted us to talk about, but this was not it. I couldn't talk about this. I was a bad liar and she would get it out of me. Leah was just like that.

"Leah, I don't really want to talk about that now."

"Well, have you?" She pushed.

"Yes," I whispered.

"And…" I sighed.

"Can we talk about this later?"

"When is later?"

"Tomorrow."

"What will one day do?"

"Enough," I muttered.

"Is that right? Well, that's interesting to know. One day will made a difference in being able to talk about it. Let me think why that could possibly be."

"Just leave it alone, Leah. Please."

"Not uh. Think, think, think." Her eyes crinkled and a small frown formed on her face. "Oh! It's the meeting tonight. Something about it will let you talk tomorrow." She waited for some clue as to if she was right or not. I stared straight faced back at her. "Okay, don't tell me, but I know I'm right. So is it good news? I think it is since you're not being bitchy or crying."

"You said I was feisty earlier. That could mean I'm in a bad mood and that would mean that it didn't go well."

"Yeah, but you're feisty when you're in a good mood. It's different that being bitchy. Feisty is in good fun, while bitchy is all about anger."

Well, I guess you're the expert since you're the queen of being a bitch."

"See, that there is being feisty. I know that you don't really mean it."

"Sure, I'm feisty then."

"Which means it's good news. You decided to give him a chance. That's why you smell like him." Suddenly her eyes shined with new awareness. "Oh my God, you two had sex!"

"What? No, I don't smell like sex, I just smell like him."

"Nice try working around the actual accusation, Bella."

"What are talking about? I didn't do that. I answered the question."

"If you were innocent you're simple response would have been, 'Duh, why do you think he's possible daddy number two.' But you didn't go with the simple response. I of course know that the two of you have had sex. And I didn't even say you had sex today, I just said you'd had it. So that all leads me to believe that you two have had sex in the time since he phased last. So that's what, three days roughly. That gave you more than enough time to wash the sex smell off."

"You sure do put a lot of effort into analyzing things. Maybe you should look into being a psychiatrist, or perhaps even an investigator, that way you could sniff you're way to the clues."

"Funny, Bella. I almost put as much time into analyzing as you do deflecting questions."

"I'm not deflecting anything."

"Yes, you are. You just did it again. You're tying to pick an argument over this so that I won't remember my questions."

I narrowed my eyes. "Stop analyzing me."

She narrowed hers back at me. "Stop avoiding my questions."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too, little sister."

"We're not sisters yet and I'm only a few months younger than you are."

"But we will be and you will be the little sister that I always wanted but got stuck with Seth instead. I already know that Charlie bought a ring. He's been muttering to himself all week about getting up the courage to ask Seth and me for permission to ask Mom. So think of all this as practice. You were an only child and never got this experience. And all I got was a little brother, not the same as sisters fighting."

"It will be nice to have siblings finally."

"And the best thing, that makes me the aunt officially."

"Yeah, I guess it will."

"That means I should get to know the dirty details, so spill."

"You don't give up, do you, Leah?"

"Nope, so you might as well tell me now. We still have a few hours before the meeting and I can use every second of that time to bug until you cave. And by the way, you will cave. I'll make sure of it."

"Fix me lunch and I'll give you a sneak peek into tonight's topic of interest."

"I'll make cupcakes too if you give me everything." Cake sounded too tempting to pass up.

"Chocolate on chocolate and we have a deal. Just try not to let Sam or Quil know that I told you before."

"Sam knows?"

"Well, yeah, he's the Alpha. We kind of had to go through him to set up a meeting."

"Damn, I wanted to know before anyone else. 'Cause you know I so predicated this that day in the hospital. Quil had an air about him that I knew he'd succeed in winning you over."

"Yeah, yeah he did."

* * *

After I finished my lunch and the cupcakes were securely placed in the oven, timer on, did I gave her the plan of Quil stopping and then us hoping and praying that doing so would end the chance of imprinting. When I finished Leah sat dumbfounded.

"They're just going to let him stop?"

"Yeah, after the baby is born. They want us to take the next couple of months to make sure it's what we both really want."

"Wow, I don't foresee Jacob taking this well."

"Yeah, I'm a bit worried about him. Quil thinks if he truly wanted a future with me that he would have manned up and thought of a solution rather than ignoring it. I think even if he had thought of it they wouldn't let him. Not with him being rightful Alpha."

"Yeah, he has more responsibility to the pack and tribe than Quil does. I still think he'll be pissed. We might want to keep the meeting outdoors."

"I don't think he'll lose control."

"Always better safe than sorry."

"I just don't want to hurt him."

"You still love him."

"Yes, I do. Not exactly like I used to. I'm in love with Quil now. I want my future with him. But I still hold very strong feelings for Jacob, just as I do for Edward. They were both huge parts of my life, you can't just let go of that."

"Trust me, I know what you mean."

"Things happen for a reason, Leah. I think I've heard those words come out of your mouth a time or two."

"Doesn't mean that there's _always_ a reason. And it's easier to believe such things about other people's lives rather than your own. But anyway, enough about my depressing self, I want to hear more about this meeting. I bet Old Quil shit bricks when he heard what Quil wanted to do."

"Yeah, he wasn't too pleased. He voted no."

"Who voted what?"

"Old Quil and that man I don't really know, Rafe, voted no."

"That old bat. He's like the grumpiest man on the reservation. Of course he would vote against someone else's happiness."

"He said it was because the tribe should come before one's self."

"It's not like having one less wolf is going to hurt the tribe. There are by far more of us than any other pack has ever had even without Quil. Some people are just stuck in the past. That's two. I would assume my mom would vote yes. What did Billy and Levi say?"

"Levi said yes because of what happened with you and Sam. He knows that Sam loves Emily, but he doesn't think a wolf should be pulled away from someone that he's already chosen for himself."

"I always did like that man. He doesn't speak much, but it's usually pretty smart to listen when he does."

"Yeah, I got that impression last night."

"So it was tied, and what Billy broke it in your favor."

"Precisely. He added the part about waiting until she's born and who she belongs to. I think he thinks Quil may change his mind if she belongs to Jacob."

"What do you think?"

"I don't think he will. I think it will hurt initially, but I think he'll stand by us. Down the line we can have our own children together. I don't think he'll lover this one any less because of her blood, but I know I want a little piece of him. Especially a little boy. I really want a little Quil." She laughed.

"Oh, so you want big trouble then." I shook my head.

"Quil will already know every trick in the book, so our son won't have a fighting chance at pulling them," I smiled. Leah smirked at my response and I felt my smile fade. "What?"

"That or he'll have a dad helping him." I completely frowned at that thought.

"Quil wouldn't do that, would he?"

"He's Quil, Bella. Before wanting you, he looked for trouble, anything he could find."

"Hmm, well, I guess I better get him trained before any boys come."

"Good luck with that."

"Thanks, I think I'm going to need it." I heard the buzzer go off, and my eyes widen in excitement. "Cupcake time!"

"They still have to cool before we can ice them."

"I don't wanna wait," I pouted.

"Unless you've developed some cooling power that I'm unaware of, then we wait." And that we did, but it was worth it. Each bite was like a little piece of heaven in my mouth.

I helped Leah clean up and we headed for Sam's house. The boys would get out of school soon and be making their way there as well. We walked into the house after Emily greeted us at the door. She was glowing with pre-wedding anticipation. Sam had yet to return from work himself. The three of us chatted about baby and wedding stuff. Emily was hinting that she wanted to throw a baby shower. I really tried to discourage her, but I don't think I succeeded. From the sounds of it, Celia and she had already teamed up.

A little while later, Sam came in and walked straight over to Emily. I saw Leah turn her attention else where in the room. I wondered if she would ever get a happy ending, or at least a pain-free one. She deserved someone of her own. I questioned in my head if she would be able to imprint. She was the only female, a first in tribe history. Was imprinting even possible for her? Even if it was, I didn't think she'd want it. She associated too much pain and heartbreak with it. Falling in love on her own terms would be what Leah would want. She's want that control. I think she needed it, to feel in control of at least one part of her life.

Another fifteen minutes passed before I heard the loud laughter and yelling that followed the pack every where. Any second they would all come through the door and the meeting would start. After that, who knew what would happen.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Leah time! I felt like she needed some more spotlight time in this story. Not many of you guessed her after last chapter. Most said Katie or Billy. Though remember Katie would be in school with the boys. Anyway, how did you like the chapter? The pack hears about Quil's future plans next chapter? Any guesses on what the reactions of the pack will be.


	26. Chapter 25

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_Another fifteen minutes passed before I heard the loud laughter and yelling that followed the pack every where. Any second they would all come through the door and the meeting would start. After that, who knew what would happen._

* * *

The door opened and the boys all funneled into the house at full volume. Leah and I remained on the couch, but she shifted over some to the other side. At the entry way to the living room, I saw Quil survey the room looking for me. A wide grin adorned his face when our eyes met. He quickly crossed the room to sit next to me.

"How was your day, Bella?"

"It was good. How was school?"

"Boring just like always. I can't wait to take that test this weekend and be done with it all. What did you do today?"

"I went to see you mom. And then I spent the afternoon with Leah."

"You saw my mom? Why'd ya see her?"

"I'm going to take over Talia's job, so she can retire."

"That's great, Bella. It's like the perfect thing for you. You can have the baby with you at work and you won't have to worry about daycare or anything like that. Plus work will be like fifteen steps away."

"Yeah, I think it'll work out really well. I'm excited."

Quil opened his mouth to speak but Sam's voice filled the room.

"All right, everyone settle down. Let's get started." The room quieted down instantly.

"We have something important to discuss tonight. Well, not discuss, more me tell you."

"Isn't that what always happens at these meetings?" Embry joked and a few of the others joined him in laughter. Sam remained sober as he waited for the boys to settle back down.

Sam cleared his throat before starting, "One of our brothers will soon be stepping down."

"What?!"

"Who?"

"What the fuck?"

"How?"

Sam remained quiet while the yelling and questions continued. I felt Quil stand up beside me. I looked up at him to find him looking back down at me. He winked before turning toward his brothers.

"Me," he said with his head high.

"What the hell, man?" Embry asked.

"Why, Quil?" Jared questioned.

"It's for Bella," a quiet voice answered. I turned to look at Jacob. He was staring down at the carpet, his shoulders slightly shaking.

"Who the fuck is she to care if you phase or not?" Paul bellowed. "It's none of her business."

"It is her business," Quil growled.

"Since when is it? You don't even know if it's your kid or not," Jared added.

"It's her business since we decided to be together," he said, reaching down to take hold of my hand.

"Like _together_, together?" Embry asked with his eyebrows drawn together.

I watched as his eyes shifted from Jacob to Quil and I, then back to Jacob. I couldn't bring myself to look at my once sun. It actually surprised me that he hadn't left or phased yet. I'd expected an uproar of some kind from him. Instead he only offered those three soft words.

"Yes, Bella and I are dating now."

"But why won't you let Quil phase anymore, Bella?" Seth asked gently.

"She's not, _not_ letting me. It was my decision."

"But why would you want that?" Embry whined, before continuing, "Why would you of all people want to give it up? You were stoked after you first phased."

"Imprinting," Jacob spoke quietly again. "He's hoping it will prevent imprinting."

"That true?" Jared asked, looking at Quil.

"Yeah, it's true. It's the only way things could possibly work."

"That's fucked up! Sam, you can't possible let him give up being a wolf for some girl, a girl who isn't even his imprint. That's ludicrous," Paul yelled.

"Paul, it's Quil's decision."

"Don't you get some say at all? You're Alpha!"

"The Council voted already, and they will permit Quil to step down on one condition."

"And what's that?" Jared asked.

"I have to wait until after the baby's born. They want me to be secure in my decision."

"So you're stopping so that you won't find your soul mate?" Jared said dumbfounded.

"No, I'm stopping so that I can be with the woman I want to be with."

"But if she's not who you're meant to-"

"I don't care," Quil growled. "I only want Bella and if this is the only way to ensure that happens, then I'll happily give up being a wolf."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, but I just can't imagine life without my Kim."

I knew for those wolves that were happy with their imprints, the concept of never finding their imprint would be a hard one to grasp. Even I could see how absurd it sounded to purposely not find your soul mate. Quil, whether he knew or acknowledged it, was giving up a lot to be with me. And the selfish person I was, I let him.

"Look, I'm stopping and I'm going to be with Bella. None of you get a say in any of that. The Elders spoke and with that granted me permission to stop. I'd like to have my pack behind me in my decision though."

It was quiet for a bit before Seth spoke up, "I say good for you. Just remember that's my future sister you're committing to. And what with me being her only brother, I'll have to rough you up if you hurt her."

"Like you could rough him up, Seth," Jared commented.

"Hey, I'll be able to after he stops phasing."

Jared rolled his eyes at Seth, before addressing Quil. "If Bella is who you want, then I say go for it too. Sorry for my earlier comments," Jared said, "but I can't see where you're coming from exactly since I never fell in love before imprinting. Sure I liked girls before, but the only love I've known is Kim. It's your life, so it's your decision. Plus, we already know and love Bella, so there's no issue there. Be happy."

"Thank you, Jared," I softly responded. He nodded back at me with a small smile.

"I think you're stupid, Quil. I won't support such a dumbass move. You're gonna regret it one day. Just you watch."

"Paul, be nice to your brother," Emily chastised.

"Why, he won't be my brother for long."

"He'll still be our brother, Paul. Just a non-phasing one," Sam clarified.

"Whatever. I won't lie and tell you how happy I am for you. You're obviously going to do this regardless of what I say, so it doesn't really matter, now does it?"

Sam sighed in annoyance while looking through narrowed eyes at Paul. "I support the two of you. I know that you'll take good care of her."

Quil squeezed my hand before answering, "Thanks, Sam."

"Hell, you should know that I've been rooting for you since Bella came back."

"What the fuck, Leah? I thought for sure you'd be on my side."

"That's what you get for thinking, Paul."

"Leah," Jared started, "honestly it would make sense for you to be like number one of the list of people against this. Do we even know if stopping will successfully cease imprinting?"

"Yeah, it makes sense that I wouldn't agree to this, but I just had a feeling about these two. Bella deserves happiness and I think Quil can give it to her. I have faith that things will work out this time."

Quil smiled at her, "I appreciate your confidence, Leah. And no, Jared, we don't know for sure, but it's the only chance." Quil took a deep breath before addressing one of his best friends. "Embry, what are you thinking?" I knew besides Jacob, Embry's opinion would mean the most to Quil.

"I think…"

He looked over to Jacob. I allowed my eyes to follow him this time. Jacob's gaze still focused on the floor, his breathing hard, and his shoulders still slightly vibrating.

Embry took a deep breath and looked back to Quil, "I think I want to be happy for you, but I'm not sure if I can be. I do want you to be happy, both of you. But then…" he cut off looking back at Jake. "I don't know, I just- It's a lot to digest at once and it's all so complicated. I'm sorry I don't have a real answer for you."

"It's all right, Em. I value your honesty; I wouldn't want you to tell me something just because it's what you think I want to hear."

"Collin, Brady, what about you two?" The two young boys glanced at one another.

Brady shrugged before answering, "It's not like we're short on wolves around here. Do what you have to do."

"I agree. This life took a lot from us all, so I think we all deserve to be selfish every once in awhile," Collin added.

Almost every pack member had weighed in, all but one.

"Jacob," I said softly. The room stayed in silence for what felt like an hour, though only a few minutes had actually passed before he spoke.

"Congratulations," he muttered to the floor. He suddenly jerked up and stalked out the door without a word or glance at anyone. I winced as the door slammed.

"Maybe I should…" Embry started, before I cut him off.

"I'll go."

"Bella, I don't think that's a good idea," Quil said holding my hand tightly. "I think Embry should be the one. Jake will be most open to talking to him right now."

"I'm going."

"Bell –" he started again.

"Quil, it's partly my fault he's hurt. Well, more like mostly my fault." Quil started to interrupt, so I placed a finger over his open mouth. "I want to talk to him, make him understand a few things. Please, Quil, this is important to me."

"He may not be in control right now, Bella. I can't see you hurt."

"Jacob would never hurt me if he could help it."

"He did though, not a month ago."

"He heard very troubling news and had absolutely no time to calm down. By the time I reach him, he'll have had enough time to relax. The baby and I will be fine."

"How do you even know where to find him?"

"I just do, Quil," I murmured. My boyfriend did not look very pleased with me leaving to go after my ex. He'd have to get over it. I needed to see Jake.

"Fine, but if I don't hear from you in an hour, I'm coming for you."

"Okay, that's a deal. I'll be at your house in an hour, I promise."

"Take the truck to wherever it is that you're going. I don't want you walking all over La Push."

"All right, I love you, see you soon."

"I love you too. Please be careful."

I placed a kiss on his lips before standing up. I noticed then that the whole room seemed to have been focused on us.

"Can I help any of you?" Everyone suddenly found random things to stare at. "That's what I thought."

I excused myself from the house and waddled my way to the truck. I drove the short five minute drive before pulling into a parking spot. It took fifteen minutes to walk to my destination. From a few yards away, I could make out his figure.

Just before I reached him, he spoke quietly, "You know, I refused to come anywhere near here for months after you left. I hated that she stole this place from us. This was our spot and in one moment it was tainted forever. I love her, I do, and I've accepted that she's my soul mate. But why did it have to be here? Of all the places in the world, why did I have to imprint here? I feel like I've lost every thing that was us. But then there are day that I wake up and forget that the past seven months have happened. I wake up thinking we're still together and then I feel like I've hit a wall at a hundred miles an hour when I realize that's not my life anymore."

"You hold my friendship always, if you want it, Jacob." He turned to look at me. My sun looked so tortured.

"I do, God, I do. I have to have you in my life somehow, Bella. I don't feel complete without you. I know the imprint is supposed to make so that I only need Katie to feel that way, and it does for the most part, but a part of me will always belong to you. It's not mine to give to Katie. And I try to be what she wants, what she needs, but I don't know how to do that with you still so prominent in my mind and my heart."

I walked the rest of the way to him. I sat down on our log with him.

"I'm your first love, Jacob. It's natural to hold on to that somewhat. I don't think imprinting can override that. Look at Sam and Leah. He still cares for her. I think you just have to learn to redirect those feelings."

"How do I do that when I've loved you as more than a friend for as long as I can remember?"

"I don't know, Jake. Time, practice, trying. You've got to let go of me, let go of any thought of us having a future. You belong with Katie, and now I'm with Quil."

He snorted. "I still can't believe you're with Quil. I mean he's Quil. I never would have guessed this is where all of our lives would be a year ago."

"How do you honestly feel with everything that Sam and Quil said tonight?"

"Pissed, but not at you, or at Quil. I'm pissed at myself. Why didn't I think of that? As soon as he said he it was him stopping, I knew. I fucking knew why he was stopping. It seems so simple now, like why the hell didn't I ever come up with that solution? I must be the biggest idiot out there."

"I don't think it would have mattered." He turned to me confused.

"Why not, I would have given up being a wolf for you. You have to know that, Bella. I would have done anything for you."

"I know that, Jake. I just don't think the Council would have allowed you to have stopped. The vote ended in a two to three vote for Quil. I think it could have gone the other way if it'd been you they were voting on."

"Why would you say that? Why would Quil get want he wants and I wouldn't?"

"You're supposed to be Alpha, Jacob. I don't think they'd have let you give up being a wolf. You have much more responsibility to the pack and to the tribe than Quil does."

"Fuck being Alpha. I don't want it, I never did. I'm tired of people expecting more of me just because of who my great grandfather was."

"Even so, Jake, they wouldn't have let you. You have to know that."

"Okay, you're right, though I certainly don't like it. It's not fucking fair."

"No, but that's life."

It was quiet for a few more moments. We both sat, both lost in our thoughts. I wanted to know what he really though of me being with Quil. "Jake, be honest. What do you think about Quil and I being together?"

"It's weird. It pisses me off a bit. It hurts more than just a bit." He sighed before continuing, "I want you to be happy, to be loved properly, to be taken care of. Quil can do that, especially if he stops phasing. The old Quil, the one I grew up with, wouldn't have been up to the job, but he changed. And he did it for you. Since I can't be the one to take care of you, then I'm glad it's someone I can trust to do the job well. It'll take time to fully accept it, but I will. I have to have you in my life, and I need Quil too. He's my best friend, my cousin, my brother. I want the both of you happy and if that's together then I'll deal with it. Maybe it will help in making me see you in a new light, let me redirect my feelings."

"Thank you, Jacob."

"Thanks for what?"

"For being understanding or at least willing to be understanding. I wouldn't blame you for being pissed and refusing to accept us."

"You don't have to thank me, Bella. I'll always want what's best for you. And I think that's Quil now." I leaned over to hug him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and let out a deep breath.

"I love you, Jacob. I meant it that day. I'll always love you."

"I'll love you forever and a day, Bella."

* * *

**Author's Note:** So most of you thought Jacob was going to make a scene and yell or phase. I thought about going this route, but I honestly think it's time for Jacob to start maturing, grow up and acting like a man. Anyway, let me know what you think. I have to say the response to last chapter was lacking and I've totally just had the worst 24 hours of maybe not my life, but of 2010 for sure. So make my day better by telling what you think.

**And Happy early Easter to those who celebrate it!**


	27. Chapter 26

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_"Thank you, Jacob."_

_"Thanks for what?"_

_"For being understanding or at least willing to be understanding. I wouldn't blame you for being pissed and refusing to accept us."_

_"You don't have to thank me, Bella. I'll always want what's best for you. And I think that's Quil now." I leaned over to hug him. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and let out a deep breath._

_"I love you, Jacob. I meant it that day. I'll always love you."_

_"I'll love you forever and a day, Bella."_

* * *

After I left Jacob, I drove to Quil's house just as I had promised to. There on the front steps, Quil waited anxiously for my return. He pouted on the ride to my house after I refused to tell him about Jacob and my conversation.

We arrived at the house where Sue had dinner ready for the family. Leah and Seth had beaten us there because of my talk with Jake. It felt nice to have a meal as a family, the six of us. In all honesty, it just felt good to be apart of such a family. Much to my surprise, Charlie took the news of Quil and me dating quite well.

"Dad?" I asked after the meal had started. I had hoped that food would slightly distract him.

"Yeah, Bells," he said, scooping up his next bite of mashed potatoes.

"Quil and I have an announcement." Charlie slowly put the loaded spoon down and looked up at us. His eyes travelled back and forth between the two of us.

"What is it?" he asked wearily. I sounded nervous, so that had to put the man on edge. I mean, what news can your already unmarried, knocked-up daughter give you that she's nervous about? Nothing good and nothing a father would probably want to hear.

"Quil and I are together. We decided to start dating."

Charlie's right eyebrow raised. "Weren't you already doing that?"

I shook my head before answering, "No, we just decided yesterday for sure."

"Oh, all right then." He shrugged. Then Charlie turned to Quil, "I'd tell you take care of them, but I think you're already doing that, so…"

"You know I will, Charlie," Quil answered. Charlie nodded and went back to his potatoes. That was way simpler than I expected.

After dinner, Quil and I watched some television with Leah and Seth in the living room. Sue went up to bed early since she had to go to work extra early in the morning. Charlie sat down in his lounger silently. After watching him stare at the wall instead of the television for ten minutes, I decided to ask what he was doing.

"Dad, you all right?"

"Sure, Bella, why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been staring at the wall since you sat down."

"Oh, right." He looked as if he wanted to say something more.

"Charlie, you got something to say?" Leah asked a bit smugly. She already knew. We all did.

"Well, there was one thing." Leah, Seth and I all shared looks. Yep, we were right, Charlie wants to ask about proposing to Sue.

"We're all ears, Charlie," Seth encouraged.

"I guess now would be a good time, since the three of you kids are here. Bella, I've mentioned this to you already. But, Leah and Seth, I want to ask your mom to marry me."

"It's about freaking time you made an honest woman out of our mom," Seth grinned.

"Oh, well, okay then. Thanks, Seth," Charlie muttered uncomfortably. "Leah, any thoughts?"

"I hope you picked out a good ring. I'm not letting my mom wear some God awful piece of crap."

"Of course not, Leah. It took me three stores to find the one. Your mom deserves the best." Charlie pulled out a small box from his pocket. Apparently he carried it with him everywhere, afraid that Sue would find it in the house. Leah highly approved and Charlie beamed proudly. He had now asked Seth and Leah, but it'd taken him over a week to do that. Who knew when he'd finally ask Sue herself.

Later on Quil did his usual walk out the front door, only to climb in through the window twenty minutes later routine. We cuddled in bed for a few minutes before his deep, steady breathing took over the room. I feel asleep thinking of our future.

* * *

The week proceeded with me getting a few things ready before the baby came. Renée would have to send me the rest of my belonging still in Jacksonville. I also started working on a budget. Quil went to school during the day, worked at the store a couple of days and patrolled the others. Sam had let him slack off with the drama revolving around me, but with things settling down, Quil had to get back to work for what time he had as a wolf.

I started my training at the store on Wednesday. Talia helped me immensely, being very patient with me. We started with inventory management. After I had that down, we'd move on to pay roll, accounts payable and taxes. She expected me to have it all down in about three weeks. That was good because I wasn't sure how much I would be up to doing after that point. I already felt like a balloon at my current size.

* * *

Saturday was the big day. Sam and Emily's wedding day had arrived. I wondered how Leah was really holding up, but she refused to give an answer for the most part other than being 'okay'. I knew things were tough for her even though she denied them. I had Quil to support me, a baby to live for. She only had her mother and brother, and soon Charlie and me.

Saturday afternoon I stood in front of my mirror wondering why I let Leah let me buy the dress I wore. Leah convinced me to go bright in color with my dress choice. It also curved around my round stomach. She said I shouldn't try to hide my full belly, that I should show it proudly. So I put the dark blue, flowing dress back on the rack and bought the pink, yellow and green floral print dress. It was only after I we pulled into my house did I see the mischievous grin on her face.

"Why do you look like that?" I asked.

"Well, Bella, my mother and father had a little fun and their genes merged and blessed me with this stunning face."

"You know what I meant, Leah. Why do you have that stupid grin on your face?"

"Oh, this?" She asked pointing to her now large grin. I nodded. "I'm just glad that I'm not going to be the only miserable one at the wedding."

"What?"

"You hate that dress. You're still going to hate it on Saturday. I hate my dress. I'll hate it until the end of days. I won't feel so bad with you feeling bad too."

"You made me buy a dress I don't like so that you wouldn't be alone in disliking your dress?"

"Yeah, that was the plan."

"Leah!" I whined. "We're going back. I'm exchanging this monstrosity of a dress for the simple blue one."

"Come on, Bella. It's pink. Did I tell you that? It's fucking PeptoBismal pink! Emily knows how much I hate pink, so she pinked the most disgusting shade of it for me to wear. You would think me willing to be the maid of fucking honor at all would be enough for her. Standing next to her while she marries the love of my life couldn't be enough apparently. So I don't want to be the only miserably dressed person there."

"Fine, I won't take it back. You're lucky I care about you. And don't think I don't know that you're totally playing me right now. I won't do this for just anyone, you know."

"I know, and that's why you're going to be the best step-sister I could ever ask for."

"Charlie has to get the guts to ask for that to happen."

"Maybe going to a wedding will give him the needed push."

"Maybe."

* * *

A short while later Quil picked me up to go to the wedding. He arrived in black slacks and a green dress shirt.

"Leah got a hold of you."

"That she did. She thought it would be cute if we matched. She originally tried to get me to wear pink, but I refused. I won with green."

"Well, I'm glad that one of us had some success against her."

"Cheer up, baby, you look amazing in that dress."

"Don't lie, Quil. I look huge."

"No, you look healthy and pregnant. I know we've had this discussion before. If I recall correctly, this," he took my belly into his hands, "is my favorite part of your very sexy body."

"Does that mean that after she's born that I won't be sexy anymore?" He laughed.

"Of course not, then you'll be a different kind of sexy. You'll be a MILF. My MILF." I rolled my eyes. We'd see how he felt after she came.

"Whatever, Romeo, let's go."

When we arrived at First Beach, I saw that most everyone was already there. Charlie and Sue sat on the bride's side, while Quil directed me over to the groom's with the rest of the pack. As I sat down, I caught Katie's eye. She gave me a small smile and I attempted to give one back, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a grimace. I hadn't seen her since our talk at Quil's birthday and it surprised me that she was being friendly toward me.

Quil wrapped his arm around me as the service began. Old Quil presided over the traditional Quileute ceremony. Whenever parts of the vows were in Quileute, Quil would whisper the English translations into my ear softly. He said each word with such feeling and emotion, I felt like it was us getting married. And the thing that scared me the most was that the thought of us getting married didn't scare me at all. It sounded wonderful, perfect. Realizing that had me praying that no girl would steal him from me before we had the chance to do so.

Once the vows were finished and Sam had an almost too long kiss with Emily at the alter, everyone made their way to Elder's Council hall. I hadn't been in there since they day Jacob found out about Quil being daddy number two. When we walked in, I could hardly recognize the place. The room was set up with many round tables and one rectangle one at the front. Pink was everywhere. Flowers, fabric, decorations. It was a bit overwhelming for someone not a fan of the color.

Quil directed us to a table near the front. There sat Kim, Jared, Seth and Paul's date, Brooke. Paul and Leah sat on either side of Sam and Emily at the front table. Jacob, Katie, Embry, Evelyn, Brady and Collin all sat at the table next to ours. The buffet opened and all the guests hopped up to serve themselves. Well, most of the guests. Emily had previously had Sam order the boys to wait until all other guest had filled their plates before they could devour the rest of the food. Emily made sure that I made my way to the front. Being pregnant had its perks finally. I piled my plate higher than I knew I would ever be able to finish. I noticed Kim did the same.

We sat back down at the table and Quil and Jared helped themselves to our plates instantly. Brooke looked on with wide eyes, as Kim and I nibbled and Quil and Jared scarfed. Seth grumbled that he didn't have anyone to steal from. Quil informed that he needed to find himself a little girlfriend. Seth ignored him and sulked until Sam gave the wolves the okay to help themselves.

After we finished eating, the dances began. Emily and Sam couldn't have looked more in love. I noticed Leah had ducked out during thier first slow dance as a husband and wife. All through the ceremony she'd worn a smile. Eventually, Quil sweet talked me into one dance. I gladly used my being pregnant as an excuse to sit out on the rest. Thirty minutes after the dancing began, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see a uneasy Katie. I felt Quil tense up beside me.

"Yes, Katie?"

"Could I speak to you for a second, in private, Bella?" Quil let off a small growl.

"Quil, don't."

"Sorry, baby. I just don't want her to upset you."

"I'll be fine, right, Katie?"

"Oh yeah, I just wanted a second to talk. Nothing bad or upsetting, I promise, Quil. I know it's not good for the baby."

"All right, don't keep her away too long."

"I won't, thanks." I followed her over the far corner of the room. I could feel Quil's gaze on us the entire time. I knew Katie wasn't his favorite person after the things she'd said to and about me. I was hoping all that was in the past.

"I just wanted to say thank you," she started with.

"Thanks for what?" I sort of expected an apology, not appreciation.

"For being so great about the whole situation. For never asking Jacob to fight the imprint. You've been selfless this entire time, while I acted like spoiled brat afraid to lose her favorite toy. I see that now. Jacob told me about the conversation the two of you shared on Monday."

"Oh, did he?"

"Yes, and I'm glad he did. It let me understand you even further. He was starting to pull away from me lately, and on Tuesday we had a long talk about everything. I know he won't leave me, and you won't try to take him back. I'm sorry for how I treated you. And also for how Evelyn treated you. She did that because of the things I've been saying about you since the very beginning. She'd apologize herself, but I think Leah scared her out of it."

"Leah scared her?" I could only imagine what the female wolf could have done to the poor teenage girl.

"Well, Leah has her scared of you. Leah said that pregnant, hormonal woman can be more dangerous than a werewolf or vampire. I think she might apologize after you've given birth."

"Only Leah could do such a thing."

"Yeah… I also wanted to say that I don't plan on trying to keep Jacob from you or the baby. It's not my place. You were in his life long before I was, and if that's his daughter than he has every right to be in her life. I won't be a wicked step-mother either. I'll try to be her friend."

"I appreciate that, Katie."

"Sure, sure. I also wanted to say good luck with Quil. He seems to really love you, and you him. I hope it works out." I looked over at Quil, who sat at our table with both legs bouncing in anxiousness.

"Me too."

"I better get back to Jacob. Plus, Quil looks like he might pounce on me at any second, so I'm sure he'd like to have you back now."

"All right. And thank you, Katie."

"For what?"

"Thank you for talking to me today. I don't want us to be enemies. I think we could be friends in the future."

"I think so too," she said, smiling. She headed back toward Jacob, who stood close to the cake, waiting for the first piece.

The cake was served, more dancing occurred and everyone continued to have a great time. Quil and I left early, before the serious partying got started. After the supernaturally unaware humans left, the wolves planned on some major drinking. Champagne didn't do much for them, so the hard liquor would soon be pouring. I could tell Quil sort of wished he could stay and have fun with his brothers. Neither of us had thought about the consequences of planning his GED test for the day after the wedding. But it was the next day and Quil needed to get a full nights rest.

* * *

Lying in bed next to Quil, who insisted he would get better sleep next to me, I reflected on the day. I really wanted to marry him, which I knew sounded crazy. We had been together less than a week, been on one date, two if you count the wedding. Plus, I may have been pregnant with his best friend's daughter and he had turned eighteen just weeks before.

"What do you want your wedding to be like?" he asked quietly. I noticed the 'your'. Quil was never one to pressure me.

"Like Sam and Emily's, but in the woods."

"The woods?"

"Where you found me."

"Yeah, that would something, wouldn't it?" he said with a small chuckle.

"Sure would. I think it would be perfect for us. It's where we had our start."

"I like it. I can't wait until I can marry you. I wish we could do it before she was born."

"It will happen when the time is right, Quil."

"I know. I just wish she could be born into a complete family." I turned to look him in the eyes.

"She will be. We're together with or without a document. We'll still be a family." He smiled.

"You're right like always." It was my turn to laugh.

"You would be wise to remember that." We were both quiet for a few minutes. "We should go to sleep, Quil. We have an early morning."

"All right. Good night, baby," he said against my lips. "And good night to you too, little one," he said placing a kiss on my stomach.

"Good night, Quil."


	28. Chapter 27

**Author's Note:** Thank you to all my reviewers. I'm glad you enjoyed the wedding. I hope you all also enjoyed the sneak peek I sent out. **twilighter3301** & **malonelikespeeps**, I'm sorry that I couldn't send you sneak peeks but you have your PM's disabled, so I couldn't. I appreciate your reviews, as well as the anonymous ones.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_"What do you want your wedding to be like?" he asked quietly. I noticed the 'your'. Quil was never one to press me._

_"Like Sam and Emily's, but in the woods."_

_"The woods?"_

_"Where you found me."_

_"Yeah, that would something, wouldn't it?" he said with a small chuckle._

_"Sure would. I think it would be perfect for us. It's where we had our start."_

_"I like it. I can't wait until I can marry you. I wish we could do it before she was born."_

_"It will happen when the time is right, Quil."_

_"I know. I just wish she could be born into a complete family." I turned to look him in the eyes._

_"She will be. We're together with or without a document. We'll still be a family." He smiled._

_"You're right like always." It was my turn to laugh._

_"You would be wise to remember that." We were both quiet for a few minutes. "We should go to sleep, Quil. We have an early morning."_

_"All right. Good night, baby," he said against my lips. "And good night to you too, little one," he said placing a kiss on my stomach._

_"Good night, Quil."_

* * *

"Here's your lunch," I said handing over the grocery sized paper bag. "Remember to think each question through thoroughly, but if you don't have any idea, move on. You don't have an unlimited amount of time, so if you haven't a clue, skip it, do those you do know, and go back at the end if you have time left."

"All right, Bella. I'm ready, at least I feel that way. I'll do fine. I'm sure I'll pass. I can do this. No biggie." It sounded as if he was attempting to convince himself, and not me. So I decided to help a little.

I kissed him softly. "Quil, you're ready, you'll be fine, you'll pass, and you can do this. I be– I mean, _we_ believe in you." I said rubbing my belly.

Quil took a deep breath in and nodded his head. "You're right. I'm overreacting, aren't I?"

"Just a little, honey."

"I don't know what I would do without you. I'm sure I'd be sitting here freaking out and probably wouldn't make it out of the truck in time for the test."

"You should go in? You'll have to check in and you should get a good desk."

"And pray tell, what would be a good desk?"

"It would be the one in the back corner. That way whenever someone gets up and leaves the room for the bathroom or whatever, you won't get distracted."

"Okay, I can see how you came up with that answer."

"One last checklist. Registration paper?"

"Check."

"Lunch?"

"Check."

"Two pencils?"

"Double check."

"Calculator?"

"Check."

"ID?"

"Check."

"I think you're good to go then. Good luck and make us proud."

"I'll do my best. I love you, Bella," he murmured against my lips.

"I love you too, Quil."

"And we both love you, baby," he said laying a kiss on my belly.

"Go now, before you're late."

"Yes, ma'am. See you at two."

"We'll be here then."

Quil got out of the truck and walked toward the building. Just before he entered the door, he turned around to wave with a smile on his face. I returned both. After the door closed, I turned the truck back on and pulled out of the parking lot. I had six hours to do as I pleased in Port Angeles as I waited for my wolf to pass the GED exam.

* * *

My first stop was the hardware store. Celia told me to go ahead and pick out the colors I wanted for the apartment, or to at least get some samples to try out. I stood in front of the paint sample wall in awe. I had never realized how many colors there were to choose from. And I had no idea where to really start. The whole apartment would need paint.

"Excuse me, miss, do you need any assistance?" I glanced behind me and saw a woman in her late thirties, early forties looking at me.

"Um, yeah, I have no clue where to begin in choosing colors."

"What are you painting?"

"It's an entire apartment consisting of two bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, a kitchen and two bathrooms."

"That's a lot of rooms to paint," she chuckled. "Did you just move?"

"Not yet, I will be soon though."

"Okay, we'll start easy then. Usually a nursery is simple enough to pick for. Boy or girl?"

"Girl," I answered.

"We have a wide selection of pinks over her– "

"No pink, please."

"No?" She asked with her eyebrows raised.

"I'm not really a fan of pink, and unless she expresses an interest for the color herself, I won't be pushing it on her."

"All right, then. Sorry, I didn't mean to assume, just almost every mom-to-be picks pink for a girl. I personally like the idea of going against the stereotypical choice. So what colors were you thinking about, if any?"

"I don't want to go with a predominantly boy color like blue or red, and though I like green a lot, I think it's still a little too boyish. I like lavender, but I'm not sure what my boyfriend would think of that for her."

"I think a soft yellow would work for you, what do you think?"

"Yellow…" I said thoughtfully. I pictured the room in yellow and a wide smile crossed my face. I could picture it perfectly and I couldn't wait to for her to arrive and put the room to use.

"Okay, next, your bedroom. I'm thinking green, just because of what you said earlier. Not too feminine or too masculine, but right in the middle."

"Actually that would be perfect. It's Quil's favorite color, but I would want a dark forest green. Would that be too much for an entire room though?"

"You could paint three walls an off-white or crème color and use the green as an accent wall. Place the bed on that wall for a strong effect."

"I like that idea a lot. You're really good at this," I commented.

"Thanks, I glad to hear that. I'd hate to suck at my job," she laughed.

And so that was how the rest of the rooms went. Based off of my comments, she came up with perfect suggestions. I also reluctantly picked out an orange-like color that Celia had requested I try for the kitchen. She'd been amazing to me, so I felt I had to pick the ugly color at least to sample. Hopefully my choice would win. In an hour I had a quart of paint in each color for me to take and test out for each room.

After I left the hardware store, I drove over to the local the book store. There were a few books I wanted to look at. I browsed the business section first. I found a few informational books on running small businesses. Celia had given me a great opportunity and I planned to do my absolute best at the store. I didn't know much about how small business operated, and as much help as Talia had been with the specifics of what my job would entail, I wanted to be as well-informed as I could in all parts of the store. This wasn't a job for the next year. It had the potential to be my career, my future. I intended to take that seriously.

After choosing what appeared to be the most enlightening books, I moved over to the baby section. I had mommy to be books, but I'd left my name book in Jacksonville. Renée claimed she couldn't find it when she packed up my stuff that week. So I picked out a new one figuring the old one was probably forever lost in my mother's house.

I walked toward the front and stood in the line. I was flipping through the baby name book when I heard my name.

"Bella? Bella Swan?" I turned around to see a slacked jaw Angela Weber.

"Angela, hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm doing well, thanks. I'm home for the weekend, here shopping with my mom. But look at you!"

"Yeah," I said staring down at my stomach.

"I didn't even know you were back in Forks. I thought you went to Florida."

"I did, but obviously I'm back. I had to come back because of this little one," I said rubbing my tummy.

"Yeah, that's something else. I never would have guessed you would be a mom so early in life."

I gave a short laugh, "It wasn't in the plan, but you gotta take what life hands you, I guess."

"Right, well, what are you doing now? My mom's in the craft store and she could spend hours in there if left alone. Why don't we get lunch?"

"Oh, well, all right. Yeah, I mean I need to kill some time anyway. It would be nice to catch up."

We paid for our books and headed to the small diner around the corner. We placed our order quickly and I started asking Angela questions before she could start on me. I asked as much as I could about school, her family and Ben. Not surprising, the two were still happily in love. I was happy to hear that. Angela deserved the best, and I thought Ben was that for her. Shortly after our food arrived, I ran out of questions to ask. Angela wasted no time in diving into her own inquiries.

"So you said you came back because of the baby, does that mean that the father lives here?" And this is where it starts to get weird and awkward.

"Yep," I answered, biting my lower lip.

"Do I know him?"

"Um, he's from La Push," I replied vaguely, hoping she wouldn't press further.

"So it's Jacob then?"

"Uh, actually I don't really know." Her eyebrows scrunched together, so I went onto explain, "Jacob and I broke up, and I sort of slept with someone else to get over it. I'm not sure who the father is."

"Oh, well, that's…um…"

"You don't have to say anything. I know how it looks. Not my smartest decision, but I'm happy where it's lead me," I said thinking of Quil. Who knew what would have become of my life had he not found me that night.

"No, Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I just, honestly, didn't know what to say. Don't think I'm judging you, because I'm not."

"I know you wouldn't do that, Ang. You're the sweetest person I know."

She blushed. "I don't know about all that. So are you and Jacob back together then, or what?"

"No I'm with the other guy now."

"Do I know him?" I didn't think she'd ever met him, but I knew I'd probably at least mentioned him to her. I wasn't sure she'd remember though.

"His name is Quil."

"Quil…that sounds familiar."

"Yeah, he's Jacob's friend."

Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth made an 'o' shape. "I see. Well, I'm sure things will work out however they're meant to. Do you know what it is?"

"She's a girl," I smiled.

"How much longer do you have?"

"A little more than two months."

"You look good, you look happy."

"Thanks, I am."

"So things with Quil are working out even with the uncertainty?"

"Things are so perfect it's scary. I don't think he could be a better boyfriend to me. Honestly, I'm waiting for the ball to drop."

"Don't think like that, Bella. You deserve to be blessed. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Angela. I never expected my life to take the turn it has, but I wouldn't change a thing."

She smiled at me with a sparkle in her eyes.

"What?" I questioned. Her smile grew wider.

"I've just never seen you so content and you have this glow about you. You look like you're on cloud nine, Bella. It's amazing. Quil must really be something."

"What do you mean?" He was of course, really something, but I wanted to know why she thought that too.

"Well, with Edward, you always seemed so serious. Like every day was life or death. Then with Jacob you appeared happy, but almost in a naïve way. Like you only had each other and ignored the rest of the world and its troubles. But now, you seem so different. I don't know how to describe it except that you appear whole. I don't think that makes sense, but you just seem complete, like all aspects of yourself work together now. You give the impression of being more aware, more accepting of the world around you. It's as if you know the world can be a cruel place, but you move forward anyway." Angela sighed in frustration. "I think I'm just rambling now. Did any of that make sense to you?"

I nodded dumbly. "Perfect sense actually," I murmured.

We finished our lunch and said our good byes. Angela promised to call me next she came into town now that she knew I was back. I left the diner almost in a fog. She'd left me with plenty to think about. I knew Angela was right in her observations. Though I wasn't sure how she had come to them in only a few short minutes. Between Quil and my daughter, I did feel whole, complete.

* * *

It was an unusually warm day for the season in Port Angeles. I decided to take full advantage of the temperature and stroll around the boardwalk. My thoughts revolved around not only what Angela had said, but also about the events of the last few weeks. It seemed like my life would take a new turn every few months. I never knew where I would be at the end of the change. I was happy where I currently was. A change now would have devastated me.

Thinking of all things that Quil willingly sacrificed for me made me sick. I wish I was brave enough to face the chance of imprinting again. To be truthful, it scared the shit out of me every day. Something that Angela said stood out in my mind. It was something I'd heard from others and even from myself. Hearing the words from someone that had no clue of my situation made them register more soundly with me. Angela said 'Well, I'm sure things will work out however they're meant to'. Maybe it was wrong of me to hold on to Quil. Perhaps her being Quil's daughter would be enough of a sign that we belonged together. Then he wouldn't have to give up the pack. It made sense, sort of. Why would I have his child if he had an imprint out there that was supposed to give him children with supposed stronger wolf genes?

That led to the question of what would it mean if she was Jacob's daughter. Would that mean that fate didn't necessarily have a role in everything? If she belonged to Jacob, did that mean that Quil for certain didn't belong to me? I'd already established that I was selfish and needed Quil. If my daughter turned out to be Jacob's, then Quil stopping would have to be done if I wanted to keep him. But if she was Quil's baby, then could he stop and we could be a family. But our assumption that Quil would not imprint would be based solely on my daughter's paternity.

It was all certainly things to consider. I hated that Quil had to give up being a wolf. He loved it, and I knew that. It wasn't as if he'd already been a wolf for five or ten years and was ready to retire. He'd only been phasing for just over a year. I would definitely think about it further before I brought it up to Quil or anyone else.

I looked at my watch and saw it was one thirty. It was about of fifteen minute drive, plus I wanted to get there a bit early in case Quil got done sooner than expected. I wanted to the truck and drove back to Peninsula College, where the test was given. Pulling up to the school, I saw quite a few people standing around the parking lot. It took only one look around to spot my wolf. Six foot three inch tall Native boys tend to stand out in a crowd.

I parked in a spot close to Quil, got out and made my way over to him. He quickly took me into his arms, placing a small kiss upon my head.

"This is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, these are some of my fellow test takers. That there is Tony," he pointing to a rather short boy, who looked to be only sixteen. "Next is Stacey," a blonde haired girl around my age gave me a small wave, "and lastly, is Robbie," Quil said as a guy with bronze hair and green eyes gave me a crooked smile. It was looking at what Edward could have looked like as a human.

I had to pull my eyes away from him to think enough to reply, "Nice to meet you all." Though, I really could have gone without the less attractive, human version of Edward. It didn't stir any old feelings for which I was grateful, but it did have a certain level of weird. I probably could have ignored his looks, but it was the one-sided grin that really freaked me out.

They all responded politely. Stacey chose to inform me of Quil's actions.

"He wouldn't stop talking about you during the breaks, and before the test began. I don't know what you did, but I wish you'd share you're secret."

"My secret?" I had lots of secrets, none that I'd care to share with her, none that she would probably even believe.

"Yeah, how did you get him to be so ubber sweet? I've never heard a guy go on about a girl like he did about you." I blushed and gave a small, shy smile to Quil. He grinned proudly down at me. He wasn't ashamed of his words or actions. He loved me and he didn't care who knew it.

"No secret, just find an already great guy."

"Well, that advice sucks." I looked at her slightly taken aback.

"Sorry, I just meant that doesn't really help because that's like looking for needle in a haystack."

"I take what I said back. I don't think you can find them. I think you have to let them find you." She started to open her mouth, and I instinctively knew what she was going to say. "Which I know sucks even more."

"Yeah, it does. I'm not a patient person, so I'm not sure how that will pan out."

"Trust me when I say things fall into place on their own. No amount of planning can dictate the true outcome of your life."

"Unplanned pregnancy I'm guessing," she said timidly.

"More like unplanned life. Every plan I've made over the last two years has strayed far off track. I'm finding it better to roll with the punches every once in awhile. Not all the time, because I'm just not that laid back of a person. I need some order in my life. But every once in a while you gotta let go of the steering wheel and hope for the best."

"Sounds like you've had lots of time to think about such things."

"That I have, so you'd be wise to heed my words of wisdom."

"I think I will," Stacey smiled. "Thanks."

"Not a problem at all."

"Well, I should be going. It was nice meeting you guys," Tony said before walking away.

"Yeah, me too. I've got to go to work. Congrats on the baby. And good luck with everything," Stacey said.

"Thank you," I smiled.

"I give my best wishes as well. See you around," Robbie said.

"Thanks, later, man," Quil added before Robbie turned away.

Quil leaned down to give me a proper kiss. I found myself whimpering when he ended it too soon.

"Don't you have something to ask me?" I stared at him blankly for a moment. Stupid pregnancy hormones screwed with my head.

"Oh, yeah, duh, how do you think you did?"

"I passed, baby," he said with confidence.

"You think that for certain?"

"No, baby, you don't understand. I _know_ I passed. We did it on a computer instead of paper. We got our results at the end, all except the essay part. So unless I completely screwed that up, I passed."

"That – that's great, Quil!"

"I know, so now we can start our life together no problem. I'll start working at the store full time, or Sam even said he might be able to get me on at the construction crew he and Jared work for. The pay would be slightly better, and then I could still work a few night and weekend shifts at the store."

"Quil, you don't need to work that much."

"At least until the baby comes I can. That we we'll have as much as saved up as possible."

"I'm so proud of you."

"Then that makes it all worth it."

* * *

After we drove back to Forks, we decided on my house. I had something I wanted to talk with Quil about and I knew no one would be home at the time. After getting both our fills of snacks, we headed up to my room. As Quil opened his fresh can of Pringles, I began the conversation.

"So I was thinking about the apartment, what with picking out colors…"

"And? Did you pick out nice colors? I don't want my daughter living in bad taste. It might screw up her development learning skills."

"Ha ha, you are just so funny. No I picked out good colors, I hope. And their only test colors."

"Okay, so what did the apartment get your pretty little head thinking about it?"

"Um, well, I was wondering if you were moving in too."

"Do you want me to move in?"

"Do you want to move in?"

"I asked first."

"I brought up the topic."

"Fine, I'll talk first, scaredy cat. I would like nothing better than to move in with the two of you. One, I practically live here already with you and two, once the baby comes, I want to be there full time. I don't want to be a part-time daddy."

"I agree, I just didn't want you to feel like I was pushing you or making you get in deeper than you were ready for."

"Bella, I'm completely committed to you, to the baby, to our family. I thought I made it clear that I would marry you this minute if I could."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure."

"I'm glad you asked. I'd been thinking about it the past two or three days. I didn't want to assume that I would just because I spend the night here, but I really hoped that it meant that I would."

"We're really doing this, huh?"

"What, being a family?"

"Yeah," I sighed. Again I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

I shook my head. "Not at all, it just feels surreal. I don't think I could get any happier."

"You just wait until she comes. It'll be the best day of our lives."

"You're right. I can't wait."

"Neither can I."

* * *

**Author's Note:** School is a madhouse right now. I barely have time for sleep and my cat is feeling sorely neglected. So from now until April 28th, don't expect many updates. I do have most of the next chapter done, as I actually wrote the big scene like two months ago for it, but I still have to add to the end and beginning and edit. Anyway, I thought I would share this chapter with ya'll today as a present since it's my birthday. **So send me lots of love!!**


	29. Chapter 28

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the birthday wishes! You guys are amazing.

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

_**

* * *

**_

Previously on Learning to Live Again…

_"We're really doing this, huh?"_

_"What, being a family?"_

_"Yeah," I sighed. Again I was waiting for the other shoe to drop._

_"Are you having second thoughts?"_

_I shook my head. "Not at all, it just feels surreal. I don't think I could get any happier."_

_"You just wait until she comes. It'll be the best day of our lives."_

_"You're right. I can't wait_."

_"Neither can I."_

* * *

Over the next week, the apartment made even more improvement. Though the floors still weren't down, Celia thought we should test out the paint that I'd bought on Sunday. On Thursday, we used the small samples in each room, letting them dry before we made our decisions. We agreed on most, but differed on the color of the kitchen. We stood at a stand still, so we called in a third party.

"Would you look here, my three favorite girls in the same room," Quil said walking into the apartment after a day of work with Sam.

"Stop sucking up and help us make a decision, Quil," Celia said smiling wryly.

"Gee, thanks, Momma. I love you too."

"Oh, I love you, son. You just annoy the crap out of me sometimes." Quil rolled his eyes at his mother before dropping a kiss on her cheek.

I loved watching Quil interact with his mom. Celia kept him on his toes, that was for sure. I could see where he'd picked up some of his humor from. Because I certainly knew it didn't come from Old Quil I could count the number of times I'd seen that man smile on one hand.

My Quil walked over to me, kissing me softly on the lips. "And what you, baby? Do I annoy you too?"

"Not all the time," I said, attempting to hold back smile.

"Bella…" he whined.

"See, you drive all of us mad." Celia laughed.

Quil stuck out his tongue at her before dropping to his knees in front of me. Placing both hands on my stomach, he said, "I sure hope you don't inherit one of their attitudes, little one. You're going to love daddy, right?" There was a strong kick from inside my stomach. His eyes widened and he grinned up at me.

"See, she agrees with me. She'll love me even if you two don't."

"First off, we never said we didn't love you. Second, she's kicking because of the stuffed peppers I had for lunch. She's been doing it for the past half hour."

"Lies, you tell lies, Bella. She kicked because she's on my side."

"You believe what you want then," I said patting his head.

"I will thank you very much," he beamed up at me.

Celia grinned from behind Quil. "All right, all right. Get up off the floor and help us pick a color already."

"Yes, mother dearest."

"Don't call me that. You know how much I hate it."

"And yet there is lies the reason I love it."

"Where did you learn to be such a smart aleck?"

"Oh, I learned from the best…you."

"Okay, time out between the Ateara's. Look at the kitchen wall there with the two squares of paint. Tell us which one you prefer."

Quil moved across the open floor plan to the wall. I found it amusing to watch him. He would close one and squint at the wall, then open both eyes, then close the other eye and squint again. After five minutes of repeating his odd process, he turned to face us.

"The orange is all right," he said wearily.

"They call it apricot," Celia stated proudly.

"Oh, okay. That's nice, but I think I favor the green."

"Green is a nice color but not for the kitchen. Apricot is known to be a kitchen color. It stimulates hunger," Celia reasoned.

"That is exactly why we don't need it. Quil and the rest of the boys have absolutely no trouble with building up appetites. I'd rather not help them along in that area or I might go broke feeding them."

"You can send them downstairs."

"I like the green, Momma. You have my answer."

"You picked it to make her happy. That's not fair."

"One, you don't know that. I do like the color; in fact it's my favorite color. Two, if, and I do mean if, I didn't like it, you're right I would still pick it because it would make Bella happy. I only have to live with you for a little while longer. Then I'll be living with her for I hope to be forever, so I'd like to keep my hormonal, pregnant girlfriend happy."

Celia snorted, "Like you live at my house now. I'm not stupid, boy. You may take showers and change at my house, but that bed has not been slept in for quite some time."

"Right, so to further my point, happy Bella equals a happy Quil. Green it is. Plus, I think it will good with the chocolate cabinets you both already picked out."

"You've proved your point, Quil. You don't have to come up with more reasons. The kitchen will be painted green."

Quil walked around the apartment and added his agreement to the colors chosen in the other rooms. I don't think he really cared as long as nothing was too out there. He approved of our bedroom, really liking the forest green I'd picked out for the accent wall. Though he didn't understand the concept of an accent wall completely, I tried to explain it.

"Why won't all the walls be green? I like green."

"Because the green will be the accent wall.

"What's an accent wall?"

"It's where one wall is painted different from the rest."

"And the point of that is…"

"…to bring that wall out as the focal point."

"Can't we just paint the whole room the green? I really like it. Green is my favorite color, you know."

I sighed. "I know that's why I picked it."

"So the whole room can be green?" He asked hopefully.

"It's too dark of a color, Quil, to paint every wall. There's only one small window in the room, so not much light will come in. It'll be to dark in the room, that's why we need the crème colored walls to offset it."

"I like green."

"I know you do, baby. But if we paint every wall green, then it'll look like a cave in here."

He let a long, dejected breath. "I guess you're right."

"Didn't I already tell you'd be wise to keep that in mind always?"

"That you did and I'll try harder to remember that in the future."

* * *

Saturday, I wanted to go back to Port Angeles and pick up all the paint we would need for the apartment in the colors we picked. Only problem, no one would allow me to make the drive by myself. Apparently they didn't trust a seven months pregnant, danger magnet woman to make the three hour there and back trip alone. Quil had to work at the store during the day, so Jacob volunteered to take me. We hadn't gotten to spend much time together since I'd been back. According to him, Katie was very supportive of our trip and had been more understanding as of late.

Jacob drove us there in my truck. We caught up on each other lives. He told me how since our talk, Katie and he had seemed to bond better with one another. He was finally letting go of me and giving his heart fully to her. And in return she changed her attitude about the baby and me. Katie told him that she would no longer try to keep him from us if the baby turned out to be his. Instead she would give her assistance when needed. Jacob smiled one of his dazzling Jacob smiles, while telling me about the improvement in their relationship. It was the first time I'd seen it since before I left.

In turn I talked about work. He, too, agreed that it seemed like a perfect fit. Then I briefly talked about the apartment. I knew he approved of my being with Quil, but I didn't want to shove it in his face. He asked himself if Quil was planning on moving in. I told him yes and he simply nodded and said it would be good to have help with the baby full-time.

Soon enough we arrived at the hardware store. Pulling in, Jacob asked why we couldn't just go to the one in Forks. My response was short.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I hadn't really thought about it."

"Bella, did we just drive to Port Angeles for nothing?"

"Well, I got the samples here because I needed something to do while Quil took the test. I just assumed I would get the gallons of paint from the same place." He chuckled at me and I found myself frowning. I really hadn't thought that trip through thoroughly. I had been so concerned with everyone letting me go, that I didn't think if I really needed to go.

"That brain of yours isn't fully functioning lately, is it?"

"Hey, that's not nice, Jacob Black. I can't help it, being pregnant sucks out some of your brain cells."

"All right, no need to get feisty. Let's just get them since we're already here."

We entered the store and quickly got all of the paint the apartment would need. Jacob gallantly carried the heavy cans with little effort to the truck. I think the cashier might have thought he was on steroids, as he carried them all in one trip out to the truck. Her jaw was slacked and her eyes wide. I smiled and quickly followed him out.

The car ride home was silent for the first fifteen minutes before Jacob broke the silence.

"So I've been thinking."

"Well, that's a scary thought," I laughed.

"No, this is something serious, Bella." He spoke with such somberness, it shocked me.

"And what was it that you were thinking about?"

"I was thinking that we shouldn't have the paternity test done." I blink twice with my mouth open in shock.

"Why wouldn't we have it done, Jake?" I was confused. We needed the test to know who the father was.

"With Quil and you together now, we don't need it."

"I don't know what us being together changes, Jacob."

"I just think it would be better for everyone is we just all went along with the notion that Quil is the baby's father. The three of you can be the complete family that she deserves, that _you_ deserve. I'll just be Uncle Jake. I'll be there any time she needs me, but Quil can be the full-time father that I can't be."

"Don't you think she deserves to know who her real father is?"

"She will know. It will be Quil. He'll be the father she needs."

"Don't you think _we_ should know who her real father is?"

"That will still be Quil. He'll be the one to comfort her after nightmares in the middle of the night. Quil will be the one to teach her ride a bike. Down the line, he'll be the one giving the stink eye to the boys that come knocking on your door. He'll walk her down the aisle. No matter what, he'll be her father, her dad. I already know he feels that way even without the test. Whenever you or the baby comes into his mind while he's phased, he beams up with pride and happiness. He claims you both in his mind. I know that he'll take care of her even if the test says she's mine, but I know it won't be the same. Not for anyone. She shouldn't come into a world of questions and doubts."

"That's exactly why we should have the test done. So there will be no doubt."

"And what happens if I'm the father, Bella? I can't marry you. I can't be a father to her all the time. Right off the bat she'll be shipped from one home to the other and back and forth for the rest of her life. I want her to have the best. And I think Quil will be the best dad she can have. He's changed so much. He'll be a much better dad than I ever could be for her. I may not be able to be a great dad to her, but I know I can be an awesome uncle. This is the one thing I can really give her. I can give her a complete family, even if it's not with me." I could see how much saying this pained him. He loved her. And he felt this was the best thing he could offer her if she was his daughter.

"And what about you? How will you feel not knowing whether or not she's really yours?" He silently looked straight out the windshield. It was a few minutes before he answered.

"I'm not sure. I know it's the right thing, but a part of me wants her to be ours so badly and for me to know it. It's the selfish part of me. The part that doesn't want to let go of you. And I'm working on that part. But in the long run, I know I'm not the important one. She is, the baby. And everyone accepting that Quil is her father will give her a lot better of a life. I don't want to her wonder why I didn't love the two of you enough to be with you. How can you explain imprinting to a little kid? You can't, not to where she'd really understand it. I don't want her to feel that she's not good enough. I'm the one not good enough. I can't give her what she needs, but Quil can, Bella. And don't think any of this is because I don't want the responsibility. It's not like –"

I cut him off, "I know that's not why you're saying this, Jacob. Don't worry about that. I could never think that about you."

"Good, because if I could change things…"

"Don't even think what if. Things happen for a reason."

"So we don't do the test and I play Uncle Jake?"

"I have to think about, Jacob. If you don't want to be tested, then you don't have to. But if Quil still wants to, then I don't know. I'll have to talk to him about it before I make any decisions."

"Of course, that's fine. Just let me know. I mean it's not like we're in too much of a hurry. We still have a bit of time to figure things out."

I still had a lot of things to figure out. If we didn't get the test done, then my idea of letting Quil continue to phase if he's the father would go out the door. My head began to hurt. Stupid pregnancy brain made it too hard for me to think about such serious things. I would worry about it all tomorrow or maybe the next day.


	30. Chapter 29

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_I have to think about, Jacob. If you don't want to be tested, then you don't have to. But if Quil still wants to, then I don't know. I'll have to talk to him about it before I make any decisions."_

"_Of course, that's fine. Just let me know. I mean it's not like we're in too much of a hurry. We still have a bit of time to figure things out."_

_I still had a lot of things to figure out. If we didn't get the test done, then my idea of letting Quil continue to phase if he's the father would go out the door. My head began to hurt. Stupid pregnancy brain made it too hard for me to think about such serious things. I would worry about it all tomorrow or maybe the next day._

* * *

A month passed and I was no farther in my decision making as I had been four weeks prior. Time slowly drifted by and I let it, ignoring some rather important issues. Everything just seemed to be going so well, I didn't want to screw anything up. I wasn't sure what Quil's response to Jacob's proposition would be. So since life went on well, I allowed it to continue that way.

It wasn't just my life that seemed to be improving. The pack began getting along seamlessly again, Quil an integral part once again. Jacob, Embry and Quil headed to Seattle for the baseball game I gave Quil tickets for. The troublesome three had a great time together, and for that I was thankful.

The day the three guys went to Seattle for the game, I asked Katie if she and Evelyn would be up to hanging out. Things with Katie and Evelyn had improved some as well over the month, but never had I spent alone time with either girl without Leah or one of the other imprints. I thought it was about time to do so. Previously I had relied on Leah to save me from awkward moments. Katie and Evelyn agreed to have lunch with me. With me not being to move around well enough to cook and the two teens not exactly cookers themselves, we arranged to meet at a diner in Forks.

I pulled up to the diner and hobbled out of the truck. That was another thing I'd been putting off that was in some serious need of attention. I walked into the diner to see Katie and Evelyn already sitting in a booth in the corner.

Waddling toward them, I decided there was no way my big belly would be fitting in between that table and the booth seat. As I approached the pair, they both looked up and smiled.

"Hey, Bella," Katie greeted me warmly. I had really appreciated the maturity that she had taken with our situation.

"Hello," Evelyn added meekly. I thought she was still a bit unsure of the situation and maybe a little uncertain of how to act around me after the dramatic stunt she pulled upon our first meeting.

"Have a seat," Katie insisted.

"Um, well, that could be hard. The belly won't really allow for that. Could we move to a regular table?"

Katie's eye widen, before she responded, "Oh, we're sorry, Bella. We weren't really thinking. I just always pick a booth and didn't think about how it would be difficult for you. We can get another table no problem."

"It's fine, Katie, really. Before the belly, I always picked booths too."

The waitress put us at another table, one where I could actually fit. She took our drink order and left us. I rubbed my belly while looking over the menu. I looked up to see Katie staring at my stomach and my hand stopped its circular motion. She glanced up at my eyes and gave a tight smile.

"What does it feel like?"

"What, being pregnant?"

"Yeah," she said, her eyes travelling back to my stomach.

"Most days it's incredible. The first few months had their downs with the not-only-in-the-morning morning sickness."

"Why do they call it morning sickness then?" Evelyn inquired.

"Supposedly it's worse in the morning and decreases during the day, but this little one apparently didn't know that. I could be sick at any time of the day."

"What makes it incredible?" Katie asked.

This certainly wasn't the line of conversation I expected us to have, but I went with it. "Knowing that I helped to create a life. I love feeling her kick, even though depending where she kicks, it can hurt. She's not an overly active baby, but when she does move, it feels like nothing else on the earth. I just can't wait to meet her, to see her and hold her."

"I can't wait until Embry and I have a baby." My eyebrows flew up with Evelyn's comment. My mouth dropped once I saw Katie's nod of agreement with Evelyn.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, girls. Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"What? Embry and I know we'll be together for the rest of our lives. What's the wait for?"

"Um, finishing school?" I said, though it came out like a question. What were these girls thinking?

"Quil got his GED, we could too," Katie added.

"No you can't."

"Why not?" she questioned with her eyebrows pinched together.

"The two of you are only sixteen. You have plenty of time to start your families. Trust me, you want to wait."

"You seem happy enough and you're young too. And it's Quil or Jacob that is the father, so what would it matter age wise if Embry had a child too. And obviously Jacob is old enough already. Plus, at least Katie and I'll be having babies with our soul mates. There won't be any of the drama that you had."

That stung. I knew Evelyn didn't say it to hurt; there was no contempt in her voice. But nevertheless, it still hurt to hear her words phrased like that. Jacob belonged to Katie and Quil, as much as we both wanted it, didn't belong to me.

"Evelyn, you really have to learn to think about what you're saying before you actually say it."

"What, Katie?"

"You just insulted Bella," Katie chastised her friend.

"No I didn't. At least I didn't try to. I'm sorry if I offended you, Bella."

"It's all right. I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"So why can't we have a baby now?" Evelyn asked.

"You want to give your children the best and most you can, right?" Both nodded. "You can't do that without at least a high school degree. Who's going to employ a sixteen year old pregnant girl? Not many, that's who. I got lucky that Quil's mom offered me a good job. Otherwise, who knows what I would be doing for job."

"So you don't think we can care for a baby now?"

"Not the way you'll want to. Having a baby is very expensive. You need to be in a good, secure job before you think of bringing a child into the world."

"I see your point on the money thing. But Embry will be graduating soon and can work, so money won't be too much of an issue. I could work after the baby is born."

Clearly Evelyn didn't see finances as a reason to not have a baby at sixteen. I could understand how a sixteen year old could not a have full grasp of how money worked, so I took another approach.

"Okay, what about this, are you ready to give up a majority of your life?"

"What do you mean?" Katie asked.

"Well, a baby will mean not going out as much. Your social life will no longer exist unless you can get a babysitter. But even then, you'll have less money to go to the movies or out to eat. It means less time with friends and even your wolf. Don't you want a few years to have with Jacob and Embry, just the two of you? Your alone time will decrease dramatically after having a baby. Between you both having jobs, the boys having pack duties and spending time with the baby, your couple time becomes nonexistent."

"That doesn't sound fun," Evelyn mumbled. I was clearly starting to get through.

"In addition, do you really want that kind of responsibility on the boys? They have enough going on in their lives with the pack. A baby is not what either of them needs right now."

Katie spoke up this time. "You mean Jacob doesn't need another one." I looked at her intently. She was staring down at the table.

"Is that what this is about Katie? That I might be giving Jacob a baby and you, his imprint, aren't?"

"Yeah, sort of. I mean, I've accepted it for the most part. What's done is done and it was done before I came into Jacob's life. But I just feel like I should be the one giving him a baby."

I knew then that Katie and I needed to have another deep talk. And I thought it might go better without an audience. "Evelyn, would you mind giving us a minute to talk?"

"Oh, yeah sure. I'll just go…to the bathroom."

"Thanks," I said as she got up to leave the table. "Katie, I know this is all hard on you."

"I'm just being stupid, you should just ignore me."

"No you obviously still have reservations and concerns about the situation. We should talk them out. It won't help things for you to bottle up your feelings."

"I suppose not. I just feel like I'm being a brat when I have those thoughts. I want to give Jacob his first child. I want to be the _only_ one to give him a child."

"I can completely understand that, Katie. You're not wrong to wish for that, not with your soul mate. And I'm sorry that I could potentially being taking that away from you. But you have to know that wasn't my intent ever. You know Jacob loves you."

"I know. He's been great the past month. Things between us have improved and we've become closer than we had in all the previous months. I can feel his complete devotion to me now. I know he's no longer holding on to you."

"Did Jake tell you what he proposed to me?"

"He proposed?!" she screeched.

"What, no! Wrong word choice, I'm sorry. He presented an idea to me a little while ago. He thinks maybe we shouldn't even get the paternity test done. Did he tell you that?"

"No he didn't. Why would he do that? I know deep down he likes the idea of her being his. I don't fault him for that anymore. I did, but I've tried to think from his point of view. I can understand wanting a connection to his first love, though I do wish he wanted me to be the only one to give him a baby."

I went on to explain Jacob's thinking behind his suggestion. "He thinks it could be a good idea, because then Quil could fill the father role without any qualms. He fears that if she is his, that she'll being getting the shit end of the stick, having a father that can only be there part-time. He thinks Quil would be a better dad for the baby. Plus, it would be easier for everyone if we went along with the idea in theory."

"In theory? So you don't think it will actually be better for everyone."

"I just think the unanswered paternity question will loom over us without end. It will always be an unanswered question hanging over everyone. And as much as I think Jacob is right in the way that she deserves the best, that being a complete home with a full-time father; I also think she deserves the truth. And I haven't talked to Quil about Jacob's thought, but I think he'll want to know the truth too. Not because it will affect anything, but just choosing to not know just seems senseless in the end."

"If you didn't do the paternity, what exactly would happen?"

"Jacob says he'll act as Uncle Jake and Quil will take the role as dad. And we'll tell everyone that Quil is the father. His name would go on the birth certificate and no discussion of her paternity would be made again. As far as we, the baby and the world would be concerned, Quil would be her dad with no question."

"And would Jacob be happy with that? Possibly living a lie forever?"

"He says he will, but I could tell the idea upset him. He just thinks that he's suggesting the best thing for the baby and everyone else."

"I think we should still do the paternity test."

That surprised me. I would have thought she would like the idea of going along with idea of Jacob only playing the uncle.

"Why?"

"Two reasons: that little girl deserves to know who her father is and it will hurt Jacob. If she finds out later in life that the pack has lied to her about her paternity, she'll be hurt and resentful toward all of us. You don't want your daughter to hate you when she finds out. And she will find out. No secret lasts forever.

"And plus, I know Jake. Not knowing will tear him up on the inside. He'll put on a show for the world, but on the inside he'll hurt. Every time he sees Quil with her, every time she calls Quil 'daddy', Jake will wonder and it'll leave wound. I think knowing and still seeing Quil with her will hurt, but not on the same level. She can have two daddies. Lots of children have that."

I sat there stunned. The sixteen year old in front of me had really changed in just two months. She no longer focused solely on herself, but thought of others.

"You know, Katie, whether she turns out to be Jacob's or not, he'll have a special bond with your children different than Jacob will with her. They'll belong to his soul mate and that will create a unique tie with them that even a first child can't duplicate. Just because we might share a child doesn't mean having a child with you will be any less special."

"I guess. I'm just really hoping she turns out to be Quil's daughter."

"You and me both, Katie, you and me both."

Evelyn soon rejoined us and we enjoyed our lunch. I had successfully talked the pair out of early motherhood. And even though I wouldn't change having my daughter, I never would have planned this for myself.

* * *

A few days later I found myself sitting on the couch at Charlie and Sue's next Quil. We had planned for a movie night in. Charlie took Sue out for the evening, so we had the house to ourselves. I knew I had put things off long enough. There were a few things I needed to talk to Quil about. I decided to start small and work my way up.

When the credits began to roll on our first movie, I choose to get the conversation going. "Quil, could we talk before putting in the next movie?"

"Sure, baby. What's on your mind?"

"I'm not sure that my truck is going to be the most baby friendly vehicle."

"No, I would imagine not. What were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I hate the thought of getting rid of it, but it's just not going to work for me much longer."

"I agree, and I've been thinking about this as well. I just wasn't sure how to approach you about it. You really love that truck, I know that. So what I came up with was that I could take the truck, so it's not going anywhere. You could drive it whenever you wanted."

"And what would I drive? I have some money saved up, but not enough to buy a car without getting something from the truck."

"I have a solution for that too. You know I told I've saved up some money while you were gone?" I nodded, not sure where he was going. "I can buy you car," he said watching my face carefully, "or at least contribute to your car fund. You can look at like I'm the one buying the truck from you."

"You'd want the truck?" I asked skeptically. He'd made fun of me for the slow moving beast. It still had no radio; I'd never had it fixed after I tore out the one that Emmett had installed.

"Yeah, I'm fine with that. It's a step up from no car like I have now. I won't need it too often, so the truck will work for what little I'll use it for. And if I need to take the baby somewhere, we can just switch cars for the day."

"I don't want you giving me all your savings, Quil."

"Bella, I promised to take care of the both of you. I'll give as much money as you need to buy a car that is safe and appropriate for towing around our daughter. If you don't want me to spend the money on you, that's fine. I'm spending on her, my daughter. I don't want her in some death trap just because her mother is too hard headed."

"Fine," I grumbled. I wasn't sure what I expected from this conversation, but Quil buying me a car was certainly not it.

"Good, we'll start looking this weekend. Now is there anything else on your mind?"

"Yes," I said quietly.

"And that would be…"

"Jacob proposed an idea a few weeks ago."

"And you're just now telling me?" He asked concerned.

"I've been thinking it over myself. I wanted to know what I wanted before I talked to you about it. I knew if I didn't, I would end up just agreeing with you."

"All right, let's here it then."

"Jacob doesn't want to get the test done."

"What?!"

"He thinks it would be best for everyone, especially the baby if we all just assume she's yours."

"We all just go along with me being her father. And what role will Jacob fill?"

"He said he could be Uncle Jake. He still wants to be involved; just he'll take a backseat to you being her dad."

"That sounds great and dandy, but I think doing that will bite us in the butt later."

"Why do you say that?" I knew why Katie thought that, but I wanted to know Quil's thinking.

"Well, the obvious would be that somehow it would come out that we don't actually know for sure that I'm her biological dad. I could only imagine the kind of reaction we'll get from her if she's in her teenage years when she discovers it."

"Okay, and what's the other reason you're thinking?"

"What if, God forbid, she has some sort of health problem at some point? If that health issue turns out to be genetic, we don't want to have to waste possibly life saving time on a paternity test. If Jacob doesn't want to know, then he can not know, but I think we, me and you as her raising parents, should know something so important."

"I never thought of that. You're right, we wouldn't want to endanger her life because of what we deem easier."

"We don't even need Jacob to know we're doing the test. We only need my blood to test. If I'm not a match, then we know it's Jake."

"No I would never do that, to not tell him. That seems wrong. We need to tell him and he can decide if he'd rather be in the dark."

"Okay, I see your point there. So what, we test my blood and then based on what Jacob wants, go from there. If he wants to know since we'll know, then we can tell everyone or just keep it between us three. From there we can finalize the role that each of us will play in her life. And then if Jacob does decide he still doesn't want to know even with the test being done and he only wants to be Uncle Jake, then we'll keep it between just the two of us."

"I like that. I think that'll work best."

"You didn't change your mind did you?"

"No I thought we should have it done as well. I just hadn't thought of the health aspect of things; that just solidified my opinion."

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page."

"I agree."

"So any other current concerns you have that we need to discuss?"

"Nope, I'm good now. We just need to talk to Jacob about what he'll want to do based off of our own wishes."

"Okay, not a problem. We can do that this week. He can't argue with you, you're the mother."

"I hope he sees our point, especially the health aspect. I can't knowingly put my daughter in possible harm."

"Don't worry. Jake's reasonable, I think he'll ultimately agree with us. I know he was just trying to help and his intentions were great, but I think the eventual decision stands with you."


	31. Chapter 30

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_So any other current concerns you have that we need to discuss?"_

"_Nope, I'm good now. We just need to talk to Jacob about what he'll want to do based off of our own wishes."_

"_Okay, not a problem. We can do that this week. He can't argue with you, you're the mother."_

"_I hope he sees our point, especially the health aspect. I can't knowingly put my daughter in possible harm."_

"_Don't worry. Jake's reasonable, I think he'll ultimately agree with us. I know he was just trying to help and his intentions were great, but I think the eventual decision stands with you."_

* * *

We talked to Jacob later that week, and he said he'd need some time to think about what he wanted to do. He understood our concerns and thought it was a good idea that someone should know her true paternity for health concerns.

Saturday was car shopping day. Quil and I drove into Port Angeles to conduct our search. At first, I was concerned about how the car salesmen would treat us, being only twenty and eighteen years old. I thought they might try to swindle us. Quil quickly reminded me that he didn't look anywhere near eighteen, and that we had the intimidation factor on our side. He could look pretty menacing when he wanted to and no fool of a salesman would try to rip him, six foot four inches of pure muscle, off.

We drove into the first car lot and quickly turned around and left without even turning off the engine. We couldn't afford a new car, but we wanted something that wasn't a pile of rust either.

The second lot seemed to present a better possibility of finding something. We pulled into a customer parking spot. From the road I had spotted a nice, little Toyota Corolla. It was probably six or seven years old, but it looked to be in good condition from the outside.

We barely made it out of the truck before a man in slacks, a wrinkled button-down, and a beach scene tie made his way to us.

"Hello, I'm Ray and I'll be helping you out today," he said, reaching out his hand toward Quil.

Quil shook his hand. I could tell he squeezed a little hard by the grimace that stretched across Ray's face. "Hi, I'm Quil and this is Bella," Quil introduced us.

"I'm guessing the soon-to-be new addition is the reason you're coming in," Ray said with a cheesy grin.

"Yeah, Bella needs a new car, something a little more baby friendly than the truck."

"Are you looking to trade in?" Ray looked wearily at the truck. I could understand; no car lot would willingly give up money for the beast.

"No just buy," I inserted. Ray's smile resurfaced.

"So how much are the two of you looking to spend?"

"Well, we have four thousand to use as a down payment. And we can go up to ten for financing." I felt my mouth drop. Where did he get those numbers? Granted we hadn't really talked numbers before going shopping, but I thought we would have been on the same page or close to it, not in different books entirely.

"Okay, so we're looking around fourteen thousand," Ray tried to clarify.

"Fourteen out the door." They continued to talk, and I still stood flabbergasted. I did not have four thousand dollars lying around. And I wasn't sure I could get financed for ten. I was thinking more two thousand down and five thousand financed. I didn't have high expectations for the car. Just safe and four doors.

"All right, let me go inside and get a full list of our inventory that fits your price range. I'm assuming four doors will be needed."

"Yeah, and a good crash rating," Quil added.

"Take a look around if you want, and I'll be right back."

I watched the man walk away before turning to gap at Quil.

"Quil, fourteen thousand dollars?"

"Don't worry, baby, we have more to actually spend, but you don't ever want to tell the salesman your true budget number. You always tell them less, that way they're more likely to work with you while negotiating."

"Quil, I wasn't concerned about it being too little money, I think it is way too much money. We don't have that kind of cash, and I really don't want to finance that much."

"Bella, calm down, baby. We do have that much."

"Quil, I know you didn't save that much in just six months at the store. And I for one don't have that kind of savings. Not and being able to afford everything else for the baby."

"Okay, so some of it came from my saving that was already built up."

"And where may I ask did it come from?" I wanted to make sure my boyfriend hadn't used his muscle to knock over a bank or a liquor store.

"My mom gave it to me; it came from my dad's life insurance."

Okay, so it legally belonged to him. And I felt a little bad about asking. Quil didn't like to talk about his dad a whole lot, and I tried not to ever push the topic. "How much money are we talking?"

"As a whole or for the car budget?"

"Both."

"For the car, I figure we could easily put eight thousand down, but I figure we should finance some of it. Both of us have no credit, and this would be a good chance for us to do build it. We put four thousand down, and then we use the other cash to pay it off early. And as a whole, we'll be okay. That's all you need to worry about it, or rather not worry about."

Again, I felt stunned. "You've really planned this all out, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah, we couldn't go in blind." Here I was the older one that should have taken the responsibility and lead, but Quil out did himself again.

"I love you," I smiled, wrapping my arms around him.

"I love you too, baby."

"All right, you two ready to take a look," a voice from behind me asked. I pulled myself from Quil's arms to turn back toward Ray.

"Let's see what you've got," I said, taking Quil's hand into mine.

Quil insisted we go to a few different dealerships and lots to find the car I liked most and that had the best price. So after five hours and two very sore feet, we ended up back in Ray's office. I loved that Quil cared and tried so hard but it really ticked me off that I was buying the car I looked at five hours previously. It could have saved time, pain, and hassle to have bought it in the first place. But it was through this selection process that Quil got Ray to lower the price even more after he heard we had a competitive offer elsewhere. Quil thought that made the five hours worth it. My feet and back painfully disagreed.

So, I then drove my green 2006 Honda Civic back to La Push, while Quil drove the truck. I sort of had a feeling we picked the Civic at Ray's over the virtually identical blue one for the same price at the Ford dealership simply because Ray's Civic was painted green. All that sensibility and the solid decision making process flew out the door at a choice about color. The thought actually made me smile though. I was glad that the silly parts of Quil still stayed in tact even with the sudden maturity he had undergone.

* * *

The next week flew by with work, preparing for the baby, and spending time with Quil. The weekend came as fast as I had hoped it would. Quil and I would be moving into the apartment. I still couldn't believe how fast Celia had it finished. I knew she had been practically a slave master over the construction workers. If they took even a minute over the fifteen minute prescribed breaks or thirty minutes lunches, Celia was on them hard. I could hear the commotion from my office downstairs. It never failed that as five foot six Celia made her very loud steps up the stairs, a sudden increase in power tool noises occurred, as I was sure they all scurried back to work. I chucked at the thought of huge, two hundred pound men being scared of Celia. Though, I did have to admit that she could be damn intimidating when she wanted to.

Before the weekend started, I had already started on a few boxes of things and the small number of boxes that Renée sent from Florida remained in tact. That left a few more that needed filling on Friday night. Quil was packing his own things at his mom's house and then he had patrol. In the morning he would drop his things off at the apartment before heading over to load my things.

I taped up the last box at nine o'clock in the morning. I had saved it for the morning since it held items I needed to get ready with – all my bathroom necessities. Just a few minutes later, I heard the truck's roar pull into the driveway. Sue was in the kitchen, so I didn't worry about letting Quil in. After all, I attempted to make as few as possible trips up and down the stairs.

If I had one complaint about the apartment, it would be that it had just as many stairs as Charlie's. Luckily there was a handrail on one side of the stairwell to the apartment, and Quil had personally installed a second a railing on the other side for me as well. A klutz – especially a pregnant one – can never be too cautious.

I heard the knock on the door, followed by the sounds of it opening and closing. I could tell Sue and Quil were talking, but not the topic of discussion. I took one last look around the room to ensure that I had packed everything I planned to take. The bookshelf stood bare, as did the dresser, chest of drawers, and bedside tables. I had put new sheets on the bed for any guest that Charlie and Sue might have –– the bed the only thing in the room that would stay. My full size bed wouldn't be needed as we would be using Quil's king size.

I sat in the rocking chair, appreciating Charlie's gesture that I could take it with me. He thought it fitting since I had as a baby been rocked in it too. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around where my life had led. I would think it all my imagination if the kicks in my stomach didn't bring me back to reality. Quil and I would be a family with our daughter.

"Hello, my babies." I looked up to see a grinning Quil standing in my doorway.

"Quil," I sighed contented.

"You all ready to go?" He asked heading toward me.

"Yeah, I am." He bent down to kneel in front of me, taking both of my hands in his.

"That's good, because I don't want to wait one more second to start our life together."

"Me neither," I smiled.

"You sit there, and I'll start with the boxes to load up your car. I asked Embry to swing by and help with the furniture. I could handle it alone, but we don't want to give the neighbors anything to talk about," he smirked.

"I would think not. Did you have breakfast?"

"Yeah, my mom fixed a little something."

I raised my eyebrows. "Does 'a little something' mean you could use a little more?"

"You know me too well, baby," Quil winked. "I love when you spoil me with food." Quil helped me out of the chair.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll head downstairs and fix myself a small bit to go along with your army-size meal," I said heading to the door.

"I love you, Bella."

"Love you too, Quil."

* * *

"No move it over a little bit more." Quil shifted the bed over a few inches. "No that's too far. Go back, like, an inch." He turned to glare at me for second before moving it just an inch. It looked perfect, centered exactly with the window behind it. "Perfect."

"Bella, you know I love you. But if we have to go through twenty minutes of me moving each and every single piece of furniture in this apartment, I might reconsider this spending forever together thing," he spoke, his voice getting rougher with each word.

I knew I was being a bit ridiculous, but I couldn't help it. The pregnancy books said in the last few months that I might start to naturally want my home to be just right for when the baby comes home. I just felt the strong need for everything to be in its right place and that started with the furniture being in the perfect spot. I felt the tears coming on and I could do nothing to stop them.

I breathed out shakily, "Oh, I mean, okay. I'm sorry. I just want our first place together to be perfect, especially for the baby. I'll be better, I promise."

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Bella," he said, rushing to my side and taking me in his arms. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I had patrol all night and I'm just tired. Forgive me, baby. I didn't know it would mean so much to you. Please stop crying. You know I hate it when you cry. I feel so helpless."

"No I'm sorry. I can't help it. I don't mean to be so aggravating. There's just this instinct that makes me want everything to be perfect before she gets here. I've been feeling for the past few weeks, but I couldn't do anything about it. It wouldn't have done anything to clean and ready Charlie's and I couldn't do it here until the work was all done. And now I just feel pressure to get everything done right the first time, because I don't have time to do it later."

"Bella, why didn't you tell me about this?"

"I thought you might think I was going crazy."

"I could never think you crazy. I love you no matter what. But a little warning would be great on things like these. We can spend however long it takes to get everything perfect. I don't mind."

I sniffed. "Thank you."

"Not a problem. I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy."

"Then why are you still crying?"

"It's the hormones!" I cried. "Sometimes I have no control over my emotions."

"Okay, it's all right. The sheets that fit the bed are in a box labeled 'bed stuff' in the living room. Why don't you get pick out the pair you want, there's like three sets in there. And I'll move the bedside tables in on each side and when you come back with the sheets, you can tell me exactly where to place the tables. Then I'll make the bed, and you and I can take a little nap. That sound good, baby?"

"When do we finish?"

"It's only eleven o'clock. We'll sleep for a couple of hours and still have plenty of time to at least get the bedroom done. Then we can start on one of the other rooms tomorrow if we don't tonight."

"Okay. A nap does sound good."

A few hours later I woke up with the feeling that someone was looking at me. I opened one eye to see Quil propped up on an elbow watching me.

"What are you doing?"

"Admiring the view."

"Hmm, well, get to work. I think I'll instruct from here," I smiled, stretching out on my back.

He nodded his head. "All right, you do that while I slave away. I expect a good, hearty meal for dinner, especially since we slept through lunch."

"Yeah, yeah. Could you get the book out of my purse in the kitchen? I'll read while I supervise."

"Sure, babe."

He came back a few minutes later with _Dear Job_ in his hands. I had a love-hate relationship with Nicholas Sparks. I loved his stories and style of writing; I hated how he always killed some beloved character in the end. I wasn't too far in the novel yet, and I certainly didn't plan on holding my breath that no one would die.

I settled into the pillows propped up against the headboard. Quil brought the dresser and chest of drawers in. Previously many drawers in each had been empty. I didn't own enough clothes to fill them both and the closet. So Quil would have plenty of room for his stuff as well, considering he didn't have much of a wardrobe either.

"Okay, before I put this stuff any further into the room. Where do each of the go?"

"The chest goes against the outside wall, next to the small window, facing the bed. The dresser should be on the wall opposite the bed, centered exactly with the bed."

"Glad I asked then."

I didn't see the difference. "Why?"

"Because if I put the dresser in first, I wouldn't have been able to move the chest passed it. There wouldn't be enough room between the bed and the dresser, unless you want me lifting the chest above your pretty, little head."

"No thanks. Just put the chest in first."

I went back to reading as he moved each into the general space they would occupy. After he had them in position he asked which way the chest needed to move.

"Um…move it a few more inches closer to the wall."

"How many is a few?"

"Uh, I think three. No four. Yeah, definitely four."

He smiled. "Four it is then." He moved the chest of drawers and looked at me expectantly.

"One more." He moved it one more inch. "Perfect. See that wasn't so bad."

"No, baby. You did great. What about the dresser?"

I looked at the position of the dresser carefully. Smiling big, I told him, "Already perfect."

"Yeah?" he smiled back. I nodded. "Thank, God. The bedroom is done!" he cheered, falling back onto the bed. "One room down and…three more to go."

"Four more," I corrected.

"What's the fourth?"

How would I know which room he wasn't thinking of? "I don't know, what's the three?"

"Kitchen, living room, and dining room. Though, I don't think the kitchen will take much."

"Quil," I said slowly, "you're forgetting the most important room."

"The bathroom?" he asked confused.

"The baby's room."

"Oh, well yeah. I didn't forget about her. But we don't have her stuff yet. That's next weekend's job. I meant three more rooms to finish this weekend."

"Oh, okay. In that case you're right. The bathrooms don't need anything except to have their boxes unloaded."

"So, it's two o'clock. Why don't you start unloading whatever it is you need in the kitchen and I'll reassemble that bookcase and put it in the living room?"

"Sounds good."

We didn't completely finish setting up and unpacking until Sunday. And even then I still felt the urge to wipe everything down with disinfectant, but we were certainly making much progress in our new home.


	32. Chapter 31

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_So, it's two o'clock. Why don't you start unloading whatever it is you need in the kitchen and I'll reassemble that bookcase and put it in the living room?"_

"_Sounds good."_

_We didn't completely finish setting up and unpacking until Sunday. And even then I still felt the urge to wipe everything down with disinfectant, but we were certainly making much progress in our new home._

* * *

I sat on the couch running through the baby book one last time. I had two names picked out that I loved, but I needed to flip through again to be absolutely sure. Quil picked out his two favorite during the week as well, and tonight would be when we planned to share our favorites and try to work out a name we could both be happy with.

I felt nervous and worried that we would like completely different names and wouldn't be able to agree on one. I had no clue what kind of names he would come up with. Quil could be a bit out there sometimes, and my daughter would not have some ridiculous name like Moxie Crimefighter, Audio Science, or after some fruit. Hollywood people were just plain crazy with the names they picked, and I wasn't about to let Quil pick some off the wall name for our daughter.

We had before deciding on the 'you pick two and I'll pick two' method we thought to ask Jacob what he thought about names. I went to him and asked, and then he gave me his decision on the paternity issue.

"_Bella, I think– no, I know I don't want to know. I fully support you and Quil finding out. I think it's the responsible and smart thing to do. But me, I don't know that I could live with the truth if she turns out to be mine. I'd hate knowing that I was pretending to be Uncle Jake, when if it weren't for all this supernatural crap, I'd be a real dad."_

"_Are you sure this is what you want?"_

"_Yeah, I think it is. I've talked about it a lot with Katie. She actually disagrees with me – thinks I should know. I don't know how I got so lucky that she could accept all this. I know it took her awhile, but honestly, I don't know how I would have done in her shoes. Anyway, I would rather just blindly be Uncle Jake."_

"_Okay, well, if you change your mind at any time, you know Quil and I will be more than happy to tell you."_

"_Thanks, Bells. I'll remember that. Though, I don't see me changing my mind.."_

"_So you don't want any say in the name?"_

"_Nah, I think her parents should be the two to do that."_

"_Quil and I want you to have a say too, Jake."_

"_And you have no idea how much that means to be, Bella. Can I just ask that you don't let Quil name her something completely ridiculous?"_

"_Trust me – I'm already dreading what crazy ideas he's probably already planning on throwing out."_

"_And pick something different. She's special; she shouldn't have some run of the mill name. It should be unique without being bizarre. You know what I mean?"_

"_Yeah, I do. That is exactly what I think too."_

So, there I sat staring at my two names. I kept Jacob's words in mind while I picked them, and I hoped he'd approve as well. Quil walked through the apartment door a few minutes later.

"Hey, baby," he said, making his way toward me. He leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips and another on my belly. "How are my two girls today?"

"We're doing fine. How did work go today?"

"No complaints. Though, I am awfully sweaty, so I'll take a shower, and then we can swap names. Sound good?"

"Yeah, you want me to fix you something to eat?" I asked, as he headed to the bedroom. He turned around and raised both eyebrows.

"Do you really need to ask, Bella?"

"I don't know what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn't," I smiled. "I'll get you something ready."

"Okay, thanks, baby."

I went into the kitchen and started piling a few sandwiches together. I didn't have the energy to fix anything more gourmet-like. Quil came out a few minutes later with a wet head.

"Thank you. They look yummy."

"They're just sandwiches," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Maybe to you, but the love of my life made them especially for me, so they are more than _just_ sandwiches."

I narrowed my eyes. He was being _too_ sweet. "What do you want?"

"You like sound my mom," he cringed. "Just because I say something nice doesn't always mean I want something." I arched one eyebrow. He sighed, and his shoulders dropped in defeat. "But in this case, you're right, I do want something."

"I see, and what is that?"

"I want us to pick one of my names!" He smiled big.

"Let's hear them all before we make any decisions first."

"Fine, but when you do hear mine, you will be blown away."

"Okay, so how about you say one, then I'll say one and then repeat."

"All right, that works for me."

"Good, would you like to go first?

"Sure." He cleared his throat dramatically and I rolled my eyes. _If the baby becomes a limelight-seeking diva, it will be because of her father, not me._ "The first name I chose is… Fallon Brooke."

"Fallon Brooke Ateara," I murmured, testing it out on my tongue.

"What do you think?"

"I like it. Fallon isn't common and it does have a nice ring to it."

"So that's a no, right? You like, not love it."

"Let's finish our lists before we dissect any of them completely."

"Fine, let's hear your first name then."

"Ansley Tegan Ateara."

"Ansley…pansley…pansy. You want our daughter to be a pansy?"

"You twisted the name to sound like that. It doesn't when a normal person says it."

"You think what you want, but kids can be pretty ruthless, Bella. Any good bully would make the same connection."

"You are so weird, Quil."

"I'm looking out for our daughter's best interest. Anyway, on to my second name that happens to be my favorite."

"Okay, bring it on."

"Raegan Nayeli Ateara."

I ran the name through my mind a few times. I liked it. Actually, I really loved it, though I did have one question. "Does Nayeli mean something? I've never heard it before."

"Oh yeah, it means 'I love you.' Which is perfect, right?"

"I do like the meaning behind it. You did really well with that name, Quil." I gave him a smile, and he beamed back at me – clearly proud of himself.

"Well, thank you. I thought it was a winner too."

"Don't go letting your head get too big there yet."

"All right then, what is your second name?"

"Lilliana Elise Ateara."

"I like Lilliana. Could we call her Lilly?"

"I think that has a good possibility."

"Hmm, I don't know. I love my name, but I also really like Lilliana."

"What if we use one from each?"

"Like Lilliana Raegan Ateara?"

"Yeah."

"I guess…" he said, with his eyebrows knitted together and a small frown on his face.

"What, Quil?"

"I really like the idea of using Nayeli. I want her to have no doubt that she's loved. That if somehow all this crazy paternity stuff gets crazier and she finds out we lied about things, then I want to make sure that she knows without a doubt that we love her," he said strongly. He sighed before continuing more quietly, "That I love her no matter who her blood father might be."

"How does Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara sound?"

"That sounds absolutely perfect. I love it," he said, smiling at me.

"Me too."

"You don't think people will think it's weird that she has two middle names, do you?"

"If they do, then that's their issue."

"You're right. Well, that turned out to be easier than I expected."

"Yeah, I agree. I thought for sure that we'd have to pull in a third party to help."

"I sure hope she doesn't get into a lot of trouble," Quil said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because, Bella, can you imagine saying her full name every time?"

I ran the image through my mind.

_A teen aged girl with skin a few shades lighter than Quil, with long hair so dark a brown, it almost appeared black. Her brown eyes narrowed as Quil told her to go back upstairs and pick another outfit, because 'no daughter of his is going out looking like that.' She'd roll her eyes, and I chaste her in a warning tone, 'Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara.' She stomp her foot before climbing back up the stairs._

"Bella? Bella, you okay there?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I just went somewhere."

He chuckled. "Yeah, baby, I noticed. Where did you leave me for?"

"You were yelling at her to change her outfit before you'd let her out of the house."

"Yeah?" he smirked. "I can totally see myself doing that. I'll make sure she walks a fine line. I know what horny teenage boys want and just how they think, our baby won't be enticing them with some scantly clad outfit."

"You, Quil Ateara, are going to be a great father."

"Not as great as you'll be as a mother."

* * *

A week later I had been put on bed rest – again. And I hated it with a deep, fiery passion. Nothing was wrong with me or Lilliana, but the doctors wanted to be sure after my spill in the Council's meeting hall that I made it to forty weeks. So that meant a whole month of sitting in bed. If the hormones didn't already have me acting a fool, then the house fever I was quickly developing would push me over the edge.

After some discussion, Quil and I had decided not to share the name we picked with anyone. We would leave it as a surprise for the day of her birth. Though, Quil did have to unexpectedly phase after a couple of his brothers and his sister all tried to mind trick him into giving the name up a few different times.

Anyway, back to my awful bed rest situation. Quil had gone into overprotective mode, and allowed me to do very little. I was sitting on the couch watching _Wheel of Fortune _when Quil came home from work.

"Hello, baby, how do you feel today?"

"Fat," I groaned.

"You look beautiful, not fat."

"You have to say that. It's your job."

"It may be my job to make you feel better, but I also would never lie to you."

I rolled my eyes. He tried, I know he did. But the aggravation of house arrest wore on me, and nothing he did could pull me out of my funk. "Sorry, I didn't cook anything today. I had Ramen noodles for dinner, so you're on your own."

"You don't have to cook dinner for me, baby. In fact, right now you shouldn't. I can manage myself. Though, shouldn't you be eating a little better than noodles in a cup?"

I looked away from the television to glare at him. "I'm tired, huge, and my feet hurt if I'm on them longer than ten minutes. Noodles in a cup are about all I can handle right now," I snapped.

Quil sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, baby. If you were hungry, all you had to do was call downstairs. You know Momma would have been happy to bring you something up."

"I didn't want to bother her."

"Bella, part of the reason that we live here is because of how easily help can come to you. I know you don't particularly like asking for help, but seriously, baby, you can't eat sodium filled food because of your pride. Lilliana needs more nutrients than that."

I sighed. One mention of her name and he had me. And he knew that and used it to his advantage. "I know you're right. I'll call next time."

"Good."

I heard him moving stuff around in the fridge, followed by a series of huffs and grunts.

"Having a problem, dear?" I asked, too sweetly. I knew his problem – an empty refrigerator.

"Yeah, there's nothing in here that looks appealing."

"Well then, I guess it's a shame that we live above a freaking store full of groceries." He shut the fridge door and turned a glare on me, but his eyes showed his inner laughter.

"Okay, smartass, I get it. I'm lazy and don't feel like going down there."

"But you will if want something good to eat."

"I guess I will. Thanks for the advice."

"Could you get me a few things since you'll already be down there?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

"Sure, baby. What would you like?"

"You might want a pad and paper."

"You need that much?" He asked, with his eyebrows raised.

"Yes," I nodded, "and I don't want you to forget anything."

"Okay, just give me a second." He moved through the drawers until he found a pen and scrap piece of paper. "List away, babe."

"I want wedding cake flavored ice cream, jelly beans, sour gummy worms, strawberries, Oreos, Kraft's macaroni n' cheese, caramel syrup, whip cream, like six Golden Delicious apples, a few Heath bars, cream cheese, and turkey bacon."

As I went further and further through my list, Quil's face got more and more scrunched in revulsion. "That's – this is an interesting list, Bella."

"I've been forming it all day in my head."

He bit down on his lip. "All right, anything else?"

"No, I think that's it."

Quil walked over to me and bent down to place a kiss on my lips.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Quil. Thanks for getting that list for me."

He cleared his throat. "Not a problem, sweetheart. You know I'll do anything for you." Quil had taken to using 'sweetheart' when I was especially driving him mad.

"That's nice. I'd really like that ice ream. So could you go get that stuff now?"

He smiled tightly. Sometimes I liked being a bigger bitch than I needed to be. It was wrong, I knew. But being on house arrest sucked and bored me to tears. Watching him squirm, trying to please my demands without yelling at me entertained me better than any television show or book could. "Right away, Bella," he said, leaving the apartment.

A few minutes after he left, I realized I forgot the most important thing on the list. I reached over for the phone and dialed the store's number. It rang twice before Haley, one of the high school girls that work in the afternoons, picked up.

"Ateara General Store, this is Haley, how may I help you?"

"Hey, Hales."

"Bella, hey. What can I do you for?"

"Can you put Quil on the phone for second?"

"Sure, just let me get him."

A minute or two passed before I heard the phone picked up from the counter. "Bella, baby, are you okay?" He asked, slightly panicked.

"Oh yes, but I forgot one thing for the list." I heard a muffled groan.

"What's that, sweetheart?" I stifled a giggle at him using the name.

"Pickles, duh!" I grinned on my side of the phone.

"Oh how stupid of me to forget those," he said blandly.

"I know. You should be more on top of things."

"Sweet or dill, sweetheart?" I'd never heard him use 'sweetheart' twice so close together. I must have been doing a particularly good job at irritating him.

"Um, get both. Save yourself a trip later that way."

"Wouldn't that be nice," he muttered, and I didn't think I was supposed to hear it, so I questioned him.

"What was that, Quil?"

"Oh nothing, baby. I'll get both types of pickles and be up soon."

"See you soon."

I went back to watching _Wheel of Fortune_, and yelling at the screen when I knew the puzzle far before the contestants. Quil sauntered in during the final puzzle.

"Hey, baby. You want me to fix that bowl of ice cream still?"

"Yes, please."

"Anything in it?"

"The worms, the jelly beans, the syrup and the whipped cream." I watched his nose scrunch up in disgust. "Hey, don't knock it until you try it, buster."

"I'll just take your word for it."

We sat and watched _Jeopardy _together, him eating a huge bowl of macaroni and cheese and me eating my ice cream concoction. Quil grabbed my dirty bowl along with his own. I heard him rinse them and put them in the dishwasher.

When he came back, I snuggled into his side, and he wrapped his arms around me. He placed a kiss on the top of my head. My eyes started to droop, and before I knew it, sleep claimed me.

I awoke to feeling myself being lifted off the couch. I burrowed into his chest, relishing in the warmth.

"Sorry I woke you, baby."

"M'kay."

"Go back to sleep, Bella."

He laid me on the bed gently. He began to let go of me, but I gripped him tighter.

He chuckled lightly. "Bella, I need to turn the lights off and lock up. I'll be right back, baby."

"I love you, Quil."

"I love you too, baby."

"I'm sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry about?"

I opened my eyes. "Being a bitch."

He gave me a small grin. "It's okay, baby. I know between the hormones and staying cooped up all day, you're having a rough time. I don't mind being your slave. I may huff and groan, but at the end of the day, I love you and I would do anything for you. You ask and demand all you want, and I'll do my very best to get you what you want."

I wanted to say more, but I just didn't have the energy to say it aloud. My eyes closed, and I felt a chaste kiss on my forehead. I couldn't have been a luckier woman to have Quil by my side.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

So, the poll came back with a very small difference between Lilliana Eilse and Raegan Nayeli. So I decided to combine the two. People seemed to feel strongly about including Nayeli as I had five alternate name collaborations suggested by 8 of you including it. After adding the two most voted for names Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara was the result of my collaborate final name. I used the order because it kept too many '–a' endings in repetition. It sounded really funny when I tried it with Raegan at the front of the name. Anyway, I hope you all, or most of you, are happy with the name choice. A BIG THANKS to everyone that voted. I never would have guessed that Nayeli would have been so popular. I totally added that at the last minute. Now I'm glad that I did.

So I have another question! I thought about this and even had a few people mention it in reviews. Do you guys want one of the non-imprinted wolves (Seth, Brady, and Collin) to imprint on Lilliana? If you do, let me know which wolf you'd prefer.


	33. Chapter 32

**Author's Note:** So as a warning – this chapter totally wrote itself. I have no clue how some of the scenes popped in my head. I blame lack of sleep. Enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_I awoke to feeling myself being lifted off the couch. I burrowed into his chest, relishing in the warmth. _

"_Sorry I woke you, baby." _

"_M'kay."_

"_Go back to sleep, Bella."_

_He laid me on the bed gently. He began to let go of me, but I gripped him tighter._

_He chuckled lightly. "Bella, I need to turn the lights off and lock up. I'll be right back, baby."_

"_I love you, Quil."_

"_I love you too, baby."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_What do you have to be sorry about?"_

_I opened my eyes. "Being a bitch."_

_He gave me a small grin. "It's okay, baby. I know between the hormones and staying cooped up all day, you're having a rough time. I don't mind being your slave. I may huff and groan, but at the end of the day, I love you and I would do anything for you. You ask and demand all you want, and I'll do my very best to get you what you want."_

_I wanted to say more, but I just didn't have the energy to say it aloud. My eyes closed, and I felt a chaste kiss on my forehead. I couldn't have been a luckier woman to have Quil by my side._

* * *

A few more weeks had passed, and I was now eight and half months pregnant. I felt fat, sore and so over the being pregnant thing. I was ready for her to get out of me.

To make things so much better, I came back from a disastrous lunch with Charlie to find nearly an entire pack of wolves in my living room. Our apartment's living room outsized Sam and Emily's by a mere three feet, but that was enough for the pack to deem our place the hang out place on many nights. Quil brought his game systems from his mom's house and bought a new, big TV. Plus, the fact that a grocery store stood just down the stairs made munching easy as pie for the bottomless pits.

I reached for the apartment door, stopping when I heard the cheers and grunts of frustrations fill the home. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, before I opened the door.

Walking inside I took in the scene. Take-out boxes rested on kitchen counters, cups and plates scattered everywhere my eyes could see and guys sitting on any available sitting space, including the floor.

I slammed the door shut, and eight heads snapped to look at me. Quil hopped up quickly.

"Baby, you're home. Did you have a nice time with Charlie?" he asked, making his way to me.

"The food took forever, it came either burnt or cold and the waitress knocked over an entire glass of ice cold water in my lap. So do you think I had a nice time?" I snapped.

"Uh oh," a few of the wolves said all lowly. I couldn't identify which ones spoke, so I glared at all of them. Seven pairs of eyes flicked back to whatever stupid video game played on the screen.

"I'm sorry, baby. Why don't you go change out of those clothes into something more comfortable? And I'll fix you some of that special ice cream you like. I went shopping earlier and got all your favorite toppings," he said, with a small, loving smile.

I grunted, "Whatever." Why did he always have to be so freaking perfect? Sometimes he made it too hard to be mad at him. I didn't want a throng of guys in my apartment, yet I felt bad kicking them out when Quil still managed to meet all my needs with them present. So I didn't really have much to complain about.

"Bella, is something else bothering you?" he asked, taking my face in between his hands.

"No, Quil. I'm sorry. Today just sucked, and I feel crappy and my back hurts. I'm going to take a long bath, maybe it will help. So don't worry about the ice cream yet."

"Okay, baby. Just call if you need something."

"Thanks, Quil."

I started to walk toward the bedroom when someone called me. "Hey, Bells."

I looked over to see my sun smiling warily. "Hey, Jake."

"Besides your bad lunch, how are you and baby doing today?"

"We're fine. Well, I'm pretty sure she feels cramped. I haven't felt too much from her today, so I think it's starting to get a little tight in there. Maybe the lack of space will encourage her to make an appearance soon."

"You still have two weeks before your due date, Bells. I know you're uncomfortable, but you don't want to rush her."

"The doctor said up to two weeks before and after the due date is normal. Though, if she picks the latter, I think I may have to take things into my own hands."

"Well, I don't want to keep you from your bath. I just wanted to check on you two."

"Thanks, Jake. I'll see you when I get out I'm sure." Usually when the guys showed up, they stayed for the long haul.

I stayed in the warm bath for half an hour before climbing out. My back muscles did feel a bit more relaxed. I put on some of Quil's clothes – a pair cut off sweats and a t-shirt.

I stood in my room deliberating on what I wanted to do. I could stay in bed and read, or I could go socialize with the pack. I went back and forth with the options in my head, but Quil interrupted my internal debate when he opened the bedroom door.

"Bella, I heard you get out and get dress, and then I heard nothing. Why are you standing in the middle of the room?"

"Deciding on what I wanted to do."

"Oh, and what did you decide on?"

"I hadn't yet."

"Well, why don't you come out? Some of the guys left, and the rest planned on watching a movie. If you use those big, Bambi eyes, I bet you could get them to let you pick the flick."

"Don't tell her that," I heard Seth yell.

I pushed past Quil, heading for the living room. "What's wrong, little brother? You think I'll pick a bad movie?" I asked, with narrowed eyes. Yes, little brother. Charlie finally manned up and asked Sue to marry him. In three months, Leah and Seth would officially be my siblings.

"I don't want to watch a chick flick today, Bella."

"What kind of girl do you take me for, Seth?"

He looked hopeful when he asked, "No chick flick, then?"

"I'm thinking the Bourne trilogy."

"Heck yeah!" Seth cheered.

"Good choice, Bells," Jacob agreed.

"Thank you. Hey, Quil?"

"Yeah, baby?" He said from behind me.

"Can I get that ice cream now?"

"Sure, Bella. The usual?"

"Please," I said, smiling brightly.

"I'm on it. Seth, why don't you move to the loveseat with Em so that Bella can lie out on the couch?"

"Oh sure, no problem," he said, moving seats.

I settled on the couch, leaving some room for Quil on the end. Jacob found the first Bourne movie on the shelf and put it in. I looked around the room. Only Jacob, Seth, Em and Brady remained.

"Seth, where's Leah?" I asked.

"Oh," he said sadly. "She wanted to be on her own today."

"Why?"

"Um," he said, stalling while he looked for help from the others. They all looked at me worriedly.

"Seth, what's going on?"

"Today marks Sam and Emily's three year anniversary."

"Why didn't she tell me? I would have done something with her."

Jacob answered me. "Bella, Leah didn't really want to be around anyone. And she didn't want you to know, because she didn't want to worry you. She just needs a little time to herself today. Tomorrow, she'll be back to the Leah we love and know busting our chops."

"If you're sure…"

"I am. She doesn't want you stressing or worrying."

"Here's your ice cream sundae, Bella," Quil said, handing me the mixing bowl of heaven.

"Good Lord, that's a huge bowl of…" Brady trailed off, not sure what word to use.

"Disgusting," Embry offered.

"More like revulsion," Seth corrected with a shudder.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Quil defended. I'd finally convinced him to try after a few times of him watching me eat my favorite bowl of dessert.

The guys all looked at him in repulsion before gaping back at my bowl.

"Is that a pickle?" Jacob asked, horror-struck.

"It's like the appetizer. I don't actually eat it with the ice cream," I said, ducking my head. I didn't like people scrutinizing my food choices.

Jake shook his head. "Whatever you say, Bells."

I took a bite of my pickle and looked up to see them all still staring at me. "Can you all please stop gawking at me?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Brady muttered as they all turned to the home screen of the movie.

Quil sat down next to me and pulled my feet in his lap. After he clicked play on the remote, he began to massage my feet while I watched the movie and enjoyed my afternoon delight.

The boys added their own running commentary to the film, hooting and hollering during the action scenes. I smiled at their antics. I wasn't thrilled to see them sitting in there earlier, but after relaxing and letting myself enjoy their presences, I felt glad with them there.

When _The Bourne Identity_ ended, Brady, sitting on the floor, popped in _The Bourne Supremacy _to continue our movie marathon. A few minutes into the second film, the lower back pain started to come back in full force.

"Ouch," I moaned, trying to rub my own back. It didn't hurt so much as feel really uncomfortable.

"Baby, you okay?" Quil asked, worriedly.

"My back is just sore."

"Sit up and I'll rub it for you," he instructed. I did, and he massaged the tense muscles. After a minute or so, the majority of the discomfort subsided.

"Bella, I don't know a lot, but can't your back hurting mean you're in labor?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, sometimes, but the doctor warned me that I could start to notice Braxton Hicks contractions more the closer I got to the due date. As long as they don't become regular, we have nothing to worry about."

"Okay," Jake said, unsure.

We all continued on with the movie, and it ended around six in the evening. I knew I felt famished, so I could only imagine how the boy's stomachs were holding up.

"Quil, I'm hungry."

"What do you feel like, Bella?"

"Hmm, I think…pizza."

"I could do pizza," Brady piped up.

"Me too," Seth added.

"Don't you four have homes of your own? And I know two of you have imprints," I inquired.

"Oh, they left us for the whole day to shop in Port Angeles. They won't be back until late tonight," Embry pouted. "We can stay for dinner, right?"

"I suppose."

"But you bums better pay up for the pizza. Bella and I can't always feed you. We do, after all, have a baby to take care of now, or well, we will soon."

"Brady, Seth, pay the man," Jake spoke up.

"Us? Why?" Brady whined.

"Why you ask, because you, Seth and Collin always worm your way out of paying for crap just because you three are the youngest. You have jobs too, you can help out with pack finances every once in a while. The rest of us have more bills than you do."

"I have bills," Brady bolstered.

"Playboys and porn films do not constitute as bills."

"Hey, that's Collin and Brady. I don't buy that crap. I'm fine with paying for the pizza," Seth said, pleading me with his eyes to believe him.

"Way to throw me under the bus, Seth."

"Hey, it's not Seth's fault that you're a dirty boy," Embry said.

"Em," the boy whined, throwing nods at me.

"She dates Quil, Brady. She knows we're a horny bunch."

"Still, don't say things like that in front of her." I couldn't decide if I felt bad for Brady or not. It was true, over my time hanging out with the pack, especially since dating Quil, I knew the wolves had overly healthy sex appetites. But it did have to be embarrassing for him to have me actually know what he did with his _private_ time.

"Well, don't claim to have bills when we all know you don't."

"Fine," Brady glowered, pulling out his wallet. He threw down a few bills on the coffee table. "Buy away," he exclaimed, before slinking down in his seat on the floor. Seth added a few bills to Brady's pile.

"Good," Jacob said, picking up all the bills. "What type of pizza do we want tonight?"

"I don't care about what ya'll want, but I need half a pizza with…" I trailed off.

Jacob and I both looked at each other expectantly.

"With…" he said, waiting for my answer.

I heard a small chuckle to my right. "She wants you to get a pad of paper to write it down with," Quil supplied.

"Bells, I have the memory of a wolf. I'll get it all. Just tell me." I sat there and patiently waited.

Quil snorted. "Seriously, Jake, just get the paper."

Jacob huffed, but did as Quil instructed. "Good day, madam, what can I get for you this fine evening?"

I ignored the sarcasm and attitude in the question. "I want extra cheese and light sauce with pepperoni, bacon, tomatoes, onions, hamburger, green peppers and pineapple. And cheese bread with pineapples on it too. If they give you a hard time, just tell them it's for me." Jacob wrote down the list, biting on his lip. I could tell he was refraining from some type of comment about my order.

Quil, Jacob and Embry all went into the kitchen to argue out the rest of the order and to use the phone to order the pizzas. Brady, Seth and I sat in silence for a few moments before the youngest wolf broke it.

"Just so you know, I'm not a pervert or anything," he mumbled, not looking at me.

"I don't think that, Brady."

"Well, just with what Embry said. I didn't want you to think…"

"You're a teenage boy. I get it."

"It can be tough," Seth added.

"Why do you say that?"

My future little brother looked at me. "For two years, we've had to see the thoughts of guys a lot older than us. They guys don't have the purest thoughts while phased. It starts to rub off on us young wolves."

"They make you horny?" I asked, slightly confused, slightly weirded out.

"What? No!" Seth sputtered out. "I mean, feeling their emotions and desires or whatever you want to call that which makes them horn dogs, starts to influence our…"

Brady jumped in to help. "They made our sex drives kick in earlier than they probably would have on their own. Not to mention the boost of hormones that we got when we first phased. Our bodies are older than our minds. Both things combined make us a little juiced up. And we each have our own ways of dealing with that."

I'd never thought of any of that. I mean, I knew things had to be rough for the younger boys, but I never thought of ways it would be different for them than the older ones.

"Oh." Was about the only response I could think up.

"We didn't mean to freak you out or anything. I just didn't want you to think I was a pervert. I'm not, and if I am, it's the pack's fault."

What Seth and Brady said got my brain rolling. They mentioned the thoughts of the older wolves influenced them. Did that mean the older wolves didn't do a very thorough job of keeping their thoughts to themselves? That was disturbing.

"Have either of you ever seen me…naked?"

They both looked at me with wide, terrified eyes.

"Well? Has Quil ever given you a free show of–"

"Pizza's ordered," Quil yelled, barreling into the room. "Let's get that last movie on. Brady, put it in. Now!"

"Quil," I said, warningly.

"They've never seen anything major." I raised an eyebrow. "Maybe they've witnessed a few tiny, miniscule slips."

"What constitutes as a 'tiny, miniscule slip'?"

"Like the beginning of things, but never the actual show. I catch myself before anything big plays out."

"Quil."

"Okay, so maybe they've seen your breasts once or twice…"

"Five," Brady declared.

My jaw dropped, and Quil's eyes narrowed and snapped to Brady.

"Do you want to keep that tongue, boy?" Quil growled.

"Don't you growl at him," I yelled. Quil's eyes flew back to mine. "He didn't do the screwing up."

"Baby, I'm sorry," he said, wrapping his arms around me. "Please don't be mad. You know I try my damnedest not to slip even a bare shoulder."

"They've seen me fat, Quil," I bawled. I had accepted the pack mind seeing the imprints naked a long time ago. But them seeing me in my body's prime differed greatly from them seeing me as huge as a beached whale. And talking to the boys had finally clued me into that fact.

"No, baby, you aren't fat. And I'd never show that much. You know your stomach is my favorite part, and I'd never share that with the little twerps."

"They really didn't see my big belly," I sniffed.

"Guys, did you ever see Bella's stomach in any of my slips?"

"No," they chorused together.

"See, no harm."

"I guess so," I sighed. _Maybe I'm being a tad overdramatic? I can't wait for my hormones to shift back to normal_, I thought.

"All right, so back to the movie," I said into Quil's shirt.

"Sure."

"Press play, someone," Quil encouraged.

I stayed pressed into Quil's chest. I didn't really want to look at any of the guys after my… display of hormones at work.

Awhile later the door bell rang and I jumped.

"I'll get it," Seth volunteered, taking the cash from Jacob. I heard the apartment door open and the sounds of Seth's feet bounding down the stairs. I worked to stand up.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Quil asked.

"I'll get the plates and everything. You guys can keep watching."

"You don't have to do that, Bells. We're capable."

"It's fine. I haven't really been watching anyway."

I got up and made my way to the kitchen. Pulling out the plates and glasses, I heard Seth bounding back up the stairs. He returned with five large pizza boxes. He opened them all up, and I took the 2-liters outs of the fridge.

"One by one, tell me what you want," I called.

"Meat Lover's," Jacob answered.

"Okay," I said, loading five pieces on a plate. "Coke or Sprite?"

"You don't have orange?"

"Um…" I looked back in the refrigerator. "Nope."

"Coke then. Thanks, Bells."

I picked the plate and glass up and started for the living room. I handed it all over to a smiling Jacob.

"Em, how about you?"

"Half supreme and half Meat, please. Oh, and with a sprite."

"Coming right up."

As I went back to the kitchen, I passed Seth. He had his own plate and drink fixed. I prepared the pizza and went to add ice to the glass for Embry. One piece fell to the floor, though. I looked over to the guys. They all looked enthralled by the fight scene. I squatted, trying to get the piece of ice. After a few attempts, I gave up. I gave a big huff followed by a grunt. Then another sound followed.

"Bella, what was that?" Quil asked. I looked up to see him looking worriedly over the couch back. "Bella?"

I looked down at the ground seeing the floor wet.

"I think Jake was right," I murmured.

"Right about what, Bells?"

"I don't think those were Braxton Hicks contractions."

"What were they?" Quil asked, apprehensively. His voice sounded closer, so I looked up to find him standing just on the other side of the island counter

"Real contractions," I calmly said.

Quil walked around the island and looked at the floor.

"Bella, did– did your water break?"

"I believe so."

"Fuck! What are we sitting here for then?" Jake shouted.

"I think we're supposed to remain calm," Brady suggested.

"What do you know about having a baby? You've never even had sex before," Jacob barked.

"Hey, this is not the time to harass him," I snapped.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit freaked. But seriously, shouldn't we be getting you to a hospital?"

"Yes, I think that would be wise. First, I would like to change my clothes if you don't mind."

"Come on, baby." Quil helped me to our room. I put on a new set of sweats. On the way out the bedroom door, Quil grabbed my already packed overnight bag. Jacob was fidgeting with the keys, and Embry had a couple of towels in his hands.

"Where are Seth and Brady?"

"Down here," Seth voiced. I looked to see them in the kitchen. I shuddered at them cleaning my…mess.

"Oh, I would have done that. Boys, you don't have to clean that up."

"It's okay, Bella," Seth said, blankly. "You go have my niece. We'll be there after we clean up things and lock up."

"Let's go," Jacob pushed.

"What are the towels for, Embry?" I asked.

"Oh, well, we didn't know if you'd…um, _leak_," he winced, "anymore. So the towels are for the seat in the car."

"All right," I said, uncomfortable. _Did he really have to use 'leak'?_

Embry, Jacob, Quil and I headed for the door. As I almost walked through it, I stopped.

"Wait, Quil, get the pizza, please."

"Seriously, Bella?" he asked deadpan. "You're in _labor._"

"I'm hungry," I whined.

"I don't think you're supposed to eat. The women in the movies always suck on ice chips."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Then you better give it to me now before the doctor won't let me."

His eyes widened slowly before he nodded. "You're the boss."

Pizza in hand, we were off to have a baby.


	34. Chapter 33

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_Embry, Jacob, Quil and I headed for the door. As I almost walked through it, I stopped._

_"Wait, Quil, get the pizza, please."_

_"Seriously, Bella?" he asked deadpan. "You're in __labor.__"_

_"I'm hungry," I whined._

_"I don't think you're supposed to eat. The women in the movies always suck on ice chips."_

_I narrowed my eyes at him. "Then you better give it to me now before the doctor won't let me."_

_His eyes widened slowly before he nodded. "You're the boss."_

_Pizza in hand, we were off to have a baby._

* * *

We piled into my Civic with Embry as the driver, Jacob sitting shot gun and Quil in the back with me, holding my hand. I only got down one piece of pizza before deciding that the pain didn't allow me to fully enjoy it.

On the way to the hospital, Jacob had made the many needed calls – the hospital to alert them of my soon arrival, Charlie, Renée, Celia, Billy and Emily, who would telephone tree the rest of the pack.

We arrived at the hospital in Forks in a mere twenty minutes – half the normal drive time. I think my screaming at Embry, who was driving, might have had something to do with our amazing time. Really he acted like a baby. I only threatened him one measly time before he floored the accelerator. He'll need to man up before Evelyn gets pregnant in what I hope is the distant future. She'd eat him alive as he was now.

A nurse stood outside the hospital doors with a wheelchair. Quil helped me into it and refused to let go of my hand, even if he had to look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame to do so.

Jacob closed all the car doors behind us so Embry could go park. I knew if I didn't say something, my bag would get forgotten in the car.

"Embry, make sure to bring my overnight bag," I yelled out.

"Okay," he called back before driving away.

The nurse began to push me inside. "I didn't check, but did you do the pre-registration online?" she asked as a contraction hit.

I shook my head while grinding my teeth. "No. I meant to do that this week. But obviously she decided to come a little early."

"Baby, are you okay?" Quil asked worriedly.

"Do I look okay?" I snapped. It hurt. It hurt badly, and I wanted some form of painkiller.

"Um…" he hedged slowly.

"Don't answer that," I heard Jacob mutter lowly.

We approached the registration desk, and the lady behind it handed Quil a clipboard of papers.

"You need to fill these out before we take Ms. Swan back."

"Now?" he asked horrified. The lady nodded her head. "But she's in labor. She needs a doctor ASAP."

"Her doctor wasn't on call tonight, and he hasn't arrived yet. So if you have a seat and fill out the forms, I'm sure he'll have arrived by the time you finish," she said too sweetly with a fake smile.

"Fine," Quil huffed. Jacob pushed me over to a set of chairs, and he and Quil sat down.

Quil started to fill out the form, muttering each question to himself. He wrote down each answer, stopping when he reached one he didn't know.

"I need your insurance information, baby."

"Um…the card is in the overnight bag," I said. "Embry said he'd bring it in. Though, I'm not sure where he is."

"It doesn't take that long to park a damn car," Jacob grumbled. "I'll go see what his issue is."

Jacob stood to leave, but just then Embry strolled into the waiting area with a huge grin on his face.

"What took you so long, moron?" Quil asked, snatching my bag from Embry's hand.

"Did you get lost?" Jacob barked out. "Bella needed her bag."

"It's all right. I have it now," I said, flipping through my wallet for the insurance card. I didn't need three werewolves arguing in the waiting room of the hospital.

"I apologize, Bella. But, Jake, you have to come out to the parking lot with me."

"No, you dipshit, I'm not going anywhere. Bella's in labor, what don't you understand about that?"

"I get that, I do. But a once in a lifetime opportunity sits in the parking lot right now."

"What are you going on about?" Quil asked while he wrote in my insurance information onto the forms.

"A 1969 Ford Torino Cobra 428 sits just two parking spots over from Bella's Civic," he said, excited like a kid in a candy store. "I mean, come on, Jake. You know we never see cars like that around here. The thing is in perfect condition."

I could see the wheels in Jacob's head working in overdrive. He shook his head and answered, "Embry, now is not the time to look at a freaking car. Bella is having a baby here."

"But–" Embry started, but my groan from an on setting contraction shut him up. Quil dropped the clipboard and grabbed both of my hands, not flinching when I clutched onto them tightly.

"Just breathe, baby," he cooed. "You're doing great. Soon we'll get you those painkillers." The pain faded away, and I took a deep breath before releasing my grip on Quil's hands.

"See that, Em. I'm not leaving Bella. Maybe after the baby comes we can check it out."

"But it could be gone by then," Embry cried.

"Then so be it," Jacob sighed.

"Just go, Jake," I told him.

"No, Bella, it's o–"

"I'll be fine. The doctor isn't even here yet. We probably still have quite a few hours before she comes. Quil will stay and help me if I need anything, right?"

"Yeah, baby, of course."

"If you're sure, Bells," Jacob said, a spark of hope and excitement flicking in his eyes.

"Go have fun, boys."

"Thanks, Bella. You're the best!" Embry exclaimed, dragging Jacob to the door with him.

"You know a little part of Jake died when he thought he wouldn't get to see the car," Quil mused, chuckling.

"Yeah, and that's why I let him go. Jacob lives for cars. I don't know much about them, but the way his eyes lit up at the car's name, I'd guess it's a pretty special car."

"You have no idea. It's debated as one of the top ten muscle cars ever made."

"And that's a big deal?"

"To a car guy like Jake, oh yeah."

"Well, then I'm glad he gets to see it. You've never had much of an interest in cars, how do you know so much?"

"When you listen to twiddle dee and twiddle dumb out there talk about them for years on end, you can't help but pick up a few things here and there."

"Oh God," I moaned when I felt another contraction hitting.

"What?" Quil asked alarmed.

"Another one," I muttered gripping the arms of the wheel chair for dear life.

"I think they're getting closer, Bella."

"I would hope so, that's what they're supposed to do."

"Ms. Swan?" a female voice asked. Quil and I turned to see a new nurse standing batting her baby blue eyes. Her perfectly-laid blond hair and perky personality did nothing for me. And I didn't like the way she admired Quil's body.

"Yes," I grunted out. If she wasn't coming to take me back to get my pain meds, then she could fuck off.

"Have you completed your paperwork?"

"Yeah, I just finished it for her," Quil interceded.

"Oh, good, mister…"

"Ateara. But I just go by Quil."

"You can call me Amber. I'll take the forms to registration for her, Quil," the nurse purred. "And then I'll be back to get your sister. Maybe you and I could get some coffee after that?" This chick had a lot of nerve.

"Excuse me?" Quil growled before I could say anything.

"Is something wrong, Quil?" the nurse asked with wide eyes and a put on innocent expression.

"I think I'd like it better if you referred to me as Mr. Ateara after all. And Bella's not my sister. One, I'm an only child. Two, we look nothing alike. And third, we have different last names as you know. Of course, that last one will no longer be true in the not so distant future. Seeing as how Bella is my girlfriend, and I plan on marrying her very, very soon. So if you could just do your job and leave me alone, I'd appreciate it."

"Of course, Mr. Ateara. I'm sorry if I offended you."

"No, you insulted _my_ Bella with your behavior. She's having my baby for Christ's sakes. She's the one you owe an apology to. And I would like a different nurse attending to her. You can take the paperwork and leave."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Swan, for my mistake. I'll just turn this in and send someone else to retrieve you."

I gave a nod, and she walked toward the desk with my forms in hand.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I started to answer when yet another contraction hit.

"Fucker, these things hurt."

"Just remember what the end result will be. We finally get to meet her."

"I know," I mumbled, with my eyes closed tightly.

A minute later, another nurse came to get me. She said the doctor had arrived, and she was taking me up to my labor and delivery room. As we passed the desk area, Quil asked the woman there to send Jacob and Embry upstairs when they came back inside.

The new nurse, Sarah Beth, helped me into the bed and started getting me all hooked up. A little while after Sarah Beth had everything all set, the doctor came in to check on my status.

"You're about four centimeters along."

"What does that mean?" Quil asked.

"It means she can have an epidural administer if she wishes. But it will still be a little while yet before the delivery actually starts.

"Dear God, yes, I want an epidural. The quicker the better." The doctor chuckled.

"The baby coming a couple weeks early isn't, like, a major worry, is it?" Quil questioned the doctor.

"She's not so early that it makes me concerned. Bella's at thirty-seven weeks, which is just at what we consider to term. I don't foresee any complications."

"So how long is this supposed to last?" I asked.

"Well, honestly, you're already almost halfway there. The first four centimeters take the longest. Out of curiosity, why didn't you come in sooner?"

"I thought they were Braxton Hicks contractions. We didn't come until my water broke."

"Yeah, usually women get it the other way around. They all come in with false labor pains, and then we have to send them all home. Doesn't happen the other way too often."

"Bella tends to down play her pain levels in any situation."

"Well, it's just as well that you came when you did. We couldn't have done much any earlier. You have to be four centimeters before we give the epidural."

"Oh, we'll I'm glad I didn't come here just to sit then."

"I'll be back in an hour or so to check back in," he said and left.

A long ten minutes later, the anesthesiologist came in and gave me the epidural. I firmly held onto Quil's hands while the monster needle went into my lower back.

A little while later, Jacob, joined by Charlie, bounded into the room.

"You doing all right, Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, Dad. The epidural is kicking in."

"What took you so long, Jake?" Quil questioned. "You didn't, like, drool all over the car did you? I don't think the owner would appreciate that too much."

"No, Quil, I didn't. But I did get to drive it."

"What? No way!"

"Yeah way. While Em and I stood there admiring the beauty, the owner came out. He let me take it around the block. That's why I took so long. Sorry, Bella. I thought I would be back before they brought you up."

"Don't worry. Nothing too exciting happened. A blonde bimbo openly flirted with Quil right in front of me, and then I had a big ass needled shoved into my back. Just another normal day in the life of Bella Swan," I said.

Jacob snorted. "She flirted with Quil? It's obvious that the two of you are together."

"She called Bella my sister."

"What kind of morons do they have working here?" Charlie asked. Jacob snorted again trying to hold in his laughter, and Quil chuckled under his breath. "She's not still your nurse, is she?"

"No, Quil got rid of her," I told my dad.

"Good," he huffed.

"So where's Embry?" I asked Jacob.

"Oh, the rest of the guys and imp– girls arrived, so he's down the hall in the labor and delivery waiting room with all of them. By the way, Emily and Leah both send their love."

The three most important men in my life all deposited themselves into seats around my room. The nurses and doctor flitted through the room occasionally. The contractions continued on, and we were left waiting for that ten centimeters mark.

What felt like days passed, but I know really about four hours lapsed. By this point the contractions came only two or so minutes apart. I felt drained. People moved in and out of the room to say their 'hello's'. I wanted to tell them all to fuck off, though Quil strategically answered them before I could say anything that could be deemed rude.

Eventually, the doctor came back in again.

"How we doing, Bella?"

"Tired." It was almost midnight. Add that with I had been keeping a nine o'clock bed time and labor allowed me no sleep, and that left me a not so happy camper. How did he think I was doing?

"Let's see what progress we've made." He did his check. "You're at seven centimeters. You're doing great, Bella."

"Are you sure we have to go to ten?" I asked. The doctor laughed, though I saw nothing funny about my question or the situation.

"Yes, Bella. Only three more to go."

"It took the whole time I've been here to get that far."

"Isn't there anything you can do to speed it along?" Jacob asked.

"No, sorry. The baby gets control of the time table from here on out."

"Great," I muttered. Clearly she planned on taking her time.

"But things should move more quickly now. You may start to feel nauseous. If you do, that's okay, it's normal. I'll be back in an hour, if not sooner," he said, walking to the door.

The hour from hell passed next. Quil had to hold the bin for me while I repeatedly threw up. It was during this time that I concluded that my daughter had to hate me. At the time, that was the only explanation for all the pain, nausea and exhaustion I could come up with.

The doctor walked back into the room and immediately checked how dilated I was.

"Please say 10."

He shook his head. "Sorry, Bella. Close, nine centimeters now."

"Just think, Bella, you'll probably see her in the next hour or two," Quil said, trying to help.

An hour seemed a long way away.

"Bella, I'll need to know which two individuals will be staying in the room with you."

"Quil and Jacob," I answered automatically.

"Really, Bells?"

"Of course, Jake."

"Okay, good. I'll come back in thirty minutes. Hopefully you'll be ready to push then."

So now it was time to push…thank God. I had Jacob and Quil standing on each side of me, both holding one of my hands. Quil kept whispering soothing words into my ear, and I really wanted to tell him to shut up. But I thought better of it. I knew it was the only way of trying to help that he could probably think of.

"Oh God, I hate you both," I yelled as another contraction came.

"I'm sorry, baby," Quil said.

"Don't sorry me, you asshole."

After about fifteen minutes of pushing, the doctor announced he could see the head. Jacob moved to try and see.

"Oh God," he muttered as his face scrunched up in horror. "That's–" he started before falling over.

"Jacob!" I yelled.

"He'll be okay. You'd be surprised how often that happens," Sarah Beth told us. "They'll just take him in another room until he wakes up." It took.

"I think I'll be staying up here then," Quil said, staring at passed out Jacob as three male nurses lifted and carried him out.

"You pass out and I'll hurt you. You will not leave me alone," I growled. He simply nodded with wide eyes.

"Okay, the next contraction should be coming. I want you to push as hard as you can, Bella," the doctor instructed.

Not ten second later, the contraction hit full force.

"Fuck!"

"You're doing a great job, Bella. The baby's head is out now. Once you get past the shoulders, the really hard parts done."

"Arg!" I cried out, pushing.

"Okay, Bella, relax now. We'll wait for the next one."

"I just want her out now," I cried.

Quil rubbed circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. "Almost there, Bella. I love you so much."

"Shut up, Quil. I don't want to hear your voice anymore." Again he nodded.

"Okay, Bella, in a minute the next one will hit. I want you to push harder than you already have."

The contraction hit and I pushed with all the energy I still had. I was about to stop when Sarah Beth encouraged me on.

"She's almost here, Bella. Just give it one last big push." I did, and soon a small cry could be heard. I let out the breath I was holding and fell back on the bed.

"Quil, would you like to cut the cord." I watched him numbly nod his head, as he didn't take his eyes off of her. He took the scissors from Sarah Beth and did the daddy honor.

One of the other nurses carried her off to be cleaned up some. Then she wrapped her in a pink blanket and handed her to me. I sat in awe staring at my daughter.

"She's perfect," Quil said softly. He sat on the bed next to me and wrapped an arm around me, pulling Lilliana and me close.

"Yeah, she is," I agreed.

"I can't tell you how proud of you I am, Bella."

"I love you, Quil," I said, looking up at him.

He pulled his eyes away from our daughter. "I love–" he said before stopping.

"What?" I asked, but it took him a minute to answer.

"It came true," he breathed out.

"What came true?" I asked, confused.

"My birthday wish."

His birthday passed months before, so I didn't know what he could have wished for that would have come true today besides maybe Lilliana arriving healthy. "And what was that?"

"You. That'd I have you forever."

"Quil, I've already told you that you have me."

"No, Bella, I mean I really have you," he said, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Quil, I don't underst–"

"I imprinted."


	35. Chapter 34

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

_He pulled his eyes away from our daughter. "I love–" he said before stopping._

"_What?" I asked, but it took him a minute to answer._

"_It came true," he breathed out._

"_What came true?" I asked, confused. _

"_My birthday wish."_

_His birthday passed months before, so I didn't know what he could have wished for that would have come true today besides maybe Lilliana arriving healthy. "And what was that?"_

"_You. That'd I have you forever."_

"_Quil, I've already told you that you have me."_

"_No, Bella, I mean I really have you," he said, his eyes never leaving my face._

"_Quil, I don't underst–"_

"_I imprinted."_

* * *

"You what?"

"I imprinted on you, Bella."

"But how?"

"Who cares? You're mine and no one can tell me different now."

"I– but– what– really?" My mind didn't want to work properly.

"Yeah, baby. We belong together. I knew we did," he said, dropping a kiss on my lips. A small cry broke us apart.

"Sorry, baby girl. Do you feel left out? Mommy and I love you too – so much, Lilliana." Lilly had a grip on one of his fingers. She looked up at us with her big brown eyes. I smiled up at Quil, but I could see tears building in his eyes.

"Quil?" He turned to look at me, one tear falling down his face.

"I never have to lose either of you. This is the best day of my life."

"Mine too."

"No more worrying."

"You don't have to give up phasing now."

"Hmm, I guess not. We'll think about that later. Right now, I really want hold my daughter. That is if her mother would stop hogging her," he joked.

"Oh, of course. Sorry, I should have already asked."

He smiled at me. "It's okay, we got distracted." I handed my daughter to her father. He carefully took her in his arms. He looked down at her in awe, a smile constantly pulling on his lips.

I took the second of silence to ponder of what had just happened. _How could he have imprinted on me now?_ I didn't doubt him; the look in his eyes had changed when directed at me compared to how he used to look at me. The love was the same, even the devotion, but there was a little something else. I couldn't place it, but it shined bright in every glance he gave me.

But all the other imprints happened upon first eye contact after their first phase. So what did that mean for us? Quil had seen me hundreds of times before that day. Did Lilly somehow play a part in this?

"Everyone is probably dying to see her," Quil said quietly, looking at me carefully.

I smiled. "Probably."

"Did – are you not happy I imprinted?"

"What? Of course I'm happy."

"You don't look happy."

"I am, Quil. I feel like my happy ending is finally coming true. I just don't understand it. And that worries me."

"Life's a mystery, and sometimes we don't get all the answers."

"I know. I just don't want whoever hands these things out to realize the mistake and take it back."

He laughed. "I don't think it works like that, Bella."

"I think you just proved that we don't really know at all how imprinting works."

"I see your point. But really, Bella, I think we should count our lucky stars and be thankful for what has just been given to us."

"Yeah, we should."

"We'll ask Sam and the Elders. We can even ask Billy when he comes in. Maybe one of them will know something."

I nodded. "I'll take her, and you go get our family."

"All right," he said, handing Lilliana back to me. She fussed a little at the hand off. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and then kissed me.

"I love you, Bella – with or without the imprint. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I love you too, Quil." He nodded and went into the hall.

"Everything is going to work out," I told my daughter.

A few minutes later, Jacob walked through the door alone.

"Hey, Bells."

"Glad to see you standing on both feet."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Someone really should have warned me about what I was about to see," he said, shuffling his feet. Jacob seemed to be keeping his distance at the door.

"Would you like to see her, Jake?"

"Yeah," he breathed out.

"Well, come on. She won't bite."

He snorted softly and made his way over. Jacob looked down at her and smiled.

"She's beautiful, Bells."

"Thanks, Jake. You want to hold her?"

He looked a little unsure. "I've never held a baby before."

"Sit in the chair, hold your arms out." He did as I said. "Now place one hand under her head and neck, giving her support. Good, like that. And the other under her butt." I took my hands away and watched him pull her to his chest.

"She's so small."

I gave off a short laugh. "Says he who didn't have to push her out."

Jacob smiled sheepishly. "Right, sorry."

Lilliana gave a gurgling sound.

"She's going to have everyone wrapped around her little finger," he said, playing with said little finger.

"Yeah," I said quietly. I laid there wondering, once again, who her father – biologically speaking – was. I also wondered if now holding her, Jake had changed his mind about knowing.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, Bella?" he responded, not taking his eyes off Lilliana.

"It's not too late to change your mind."

I heard him sigh before he looked up at me. "Yeah, I know. I have to admit, it sounds more tempting now that I'm holding her. As amazing as she is, I think it would hurt more knowing that she's mine and I can't be there properly than if I were to find out she's not mine. I'd rather assume she's being raised by her father, by Quil."

"Okay, but you know you can always find out later if you change your mind. Quil and I would never keep that from you."

"I know, Bells." A minute of silence filled the room, except for Lilly's small sounds. "So what's the big news?"

"Hmm, what news?" I wasn't sure if he was referring to the imprint or something else. I didn't know if Quil would have said anything when he left the room or not.

"Quil said when he came out that the two of you have big news. I don't see a ring, so I'm guessing you didn't get engaged. So, what's the big news that has Quil grinning like a mad man? I mean, I know this little one has to be contributing to the smile, but by the look on Quil's face, I'd say there's more to it."

"Nope, no ring, no engagement."

"I figured that out myself, Bella. Come on, you can tell your best friend."

"If he didn't tell you, then I'm guessing he wants to announce it together."

"Eh, fine. Be that way. I guess I shouldn't hog her. I don't who's wearing the carpet thinner out in the waiting room, Celia or Charlie."

"Yeah?" I laughed.

"I don't think I've ever seen Charlie look so nervous. Everyone got real worried when I came out there still looking a little green."

"Oh really? Did you tell them you passed out?"

"No, I hoping that little tidbit don't get out."

"Good luck with that."

"Yeah, no secrets in the pack. Everything comes out eventually. Well, hey, you take her back, and I'll go let everyone know it's all right to come in. I think Quil was keeping them back a few minutes for me."

"Okay," I said taking her back. Jacob headed for the door, and I looked back down at my beautiful girl.

"Oh, I forgot to ask. What name did you settle on?"

"Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara."

"Geez, Bells, could you pick something a little longer."

"Yeah, well, we couldn't narrow it down any further than that, so we took the easy way out and used them all."

"It may be long, but I do like it, especially Nayeli. I'm guessing Quil picked that one."

"Yeah, he did. Raegan too."

"Hmm," he said, nodding. "You two are going to do really great with her, Bella. I can already tell. I'm really glad you have Quil."

"Me too," I smiled.

"I'll be right back."

* * *

Soon enough the room became crowded with family, pack members and imprints. Everyone took turns holding Lilliana. I think Charlie thought having two middle names was weird, but a swat from Sue shut him right up. Charlie was a traditionalist, so I expected a similar reaction.

I think all the pack was getting antsy to hear the big news, but we couldn't say anything with Charlie or Celia there. They both knew nothing of the pack. Eventually the nurse had to take Lilliana to get her thorough check-up. After they took her, Charlie announced he needed to head into the station and Celia needed to go because she had to open the store in a couple of hours. It was beyond late, and I really wanted to tell everyone else to go and we'd tell them later. But I knew by Quil's constant grin and slight bounce that he would want to tell them all about the imprint immediately.

"Okay, tell us the big news so we can all go home and get some sleep," Sam said as soon as the room was clear of unknowing humans.

"Hold your horses," Quil said, making his way back to my side.

"Bells already told me you're not engaged, so what else could there be?" Jake questioned.

Quil sat next to me on the bed and wrapped his arms around me. I looked at him and he beamed back down at me. "This may come as a shock," he started, never taking his eyes off of me, "but after Lilliana was born, I imprinted."

"You imprinted on your daughter?" Collin yelled.

"That's sick!" Brady added.

"Wait, does that mean she's Jacob's?" Seth asked.

Everyone looked a mix of very confused, shocked and disgusted.

"No! God, no. I imprinted on Bella, not Lilly."

"How the fuck is that possible?" Paul questioned, always the one with words.

"We don't know. We were hoping Sam or Billy might have an idea," I said.

"Are you sure, Quil? I know you want that but–"

"I imprinted on Bella, Sam. I know I did. We can go in the woods and I'll show you now if you want. But I know I'm not mistaken."

"All right, calm down, Quil. You have to know it seems a little…unbelievable."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Personally, I don't really care why it happened, but know Bella would feel better if we had an explanation."

"Billy, have you ever heard of such a thing?" I asked.

"No I haven't, Bella. I'm sorry. I know the legends better than the back of my hand, and I have never heard of a wolf imprinting other than that initial look after the first phase."

"Well, does anyone have any theories?" Quil asked.

"Maybe Lilly is Jake's and you couldn't imprint while she carried another wolf's baby," Embry suggested, looking guilty as he did.

"But what about the months before Bella got pregnant? That doesn't work," Jacob said quietly, looking at the floor.

"Perhaps, being connected to another wolf in general kept it from happening. I mean, Jake, you've been attached to Bella's hip since before phasing," Jared said.

Jacob's eyebrows knitted together and I could practically see the wheels in his head turning. I looked up at Quil to find him scrutinizing Jake.

"I don't that would hinder the imprint," Billy said.

"Let's think about this logically," Sue suggested.

"Logically? What about our lives are logical?" Leah scoffed.

"We should start with the basics. What is an imprint?" Sue asked, ignoring her daughter.

"A soul mate," Jared said, wrapped around Kim.

"A mate," Sam said with narrowed eyes.

"You're thinking something, Sam. What is it?" Billy asked.

"Quil, you said the imprint only happened after Lilliana was born?"

"Yeah," Quil said slowly, not sure where Sam was going with the question. I wasn't sure either.

"What if– I've always stood by the thought that imprinting is more than just to find your soul mate. I think it's also about find a good match for mating. So…"

"So you think I imprinted because Lilly proves that Bella and I can make good babies?" Quil asked doubtfully.

"Hey, it's just a suggestion. If you have something better to suggest, then please do."

"No. I just don't see how that works. I mean, she's a girl. So how would that prove that Bella and I can make good future wolves?"

"I'm a girl, dimwit," Leah growled.

"Yeah, I know. But, no offense, we think you're a genetic slip."

Leah growled again.

"Calm down, Leah," Sam said. "I get what you're saying, Quil. Even if she doesn't phase, maybe she still proves the two of you can produce healthy children."

"It sounds like the best theory we've got," Sue said.

"I honestly don't think we'll ever really know the reason why," Sam said. "Just count your blessings."

It was quietly again before Quil spoke softly, "Well, we'll know for sure if the theory stands after Bella and I get the test results back."

"Um, I have a question," Seth said meekly. We all looked at him, but he remained quiet.

"Yeah, Seth," I said, after a minute of waiting.

"Uh, I know you all agreed for just the two of you to know Lilliana's paternity, but how are you gonna manage that? What, with pack mind and all."

"Well, I wasn't planning on phasing again after we got the test results back. But now with the imprint, there isn't really a need for that. I mean, Bella and I need to still talk about that. Anyway, I guess maybe, Sam, could you put an Alpha order on me again? Just to make sure I don't think about it while phased."

"If that's what you want, then yeah, I can do that."

"Jake, that's what you still want, right?" Quil asked softly.

Jacob stood frozen for a second before he gave a small nod.

Quil looked back at his Alpha. "Then yes, Sam, it's what I want."

"All right, just call me up when you need me to do it."

"Excuse me," a small voice said. Everyone turned toward the door to see a nurse. "Hello. I, um, am going to have to ask everyone to leave. It's way past visitors' hours. New mommy needs her rest and before that baby needs to eat. So we need to clear the room."

Everyone said their last congratulations before leaving. Jacob and Katie left last.

"I'll come by tomorrow, if that's all right," Jake said.

"Of course."

"I was going to ask you, Jake, if you mind staying with Bella while I drove back home for a bit tomorrow. I need to get the car seat and a few other things before we take Lilly home."

"Sure, sure. Is around noon fine?"

"That sounds perfect. Thanks, Jake."

"I don't need a babysitter," I pouted. Katie snorted, but remained quiet.

"No, but I would feel better knowing someone is here looking after the two of you."

"Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Better get used to it, Bells. Now that he's imprinted, you're never getting rid of him," Jake grinned.

"I'm okay with that."

Jake and Katie left, and the nurse brought Lilliana back in. I fed her before she fell back asleep. Quil climbed into the small bed with me, where we both slept peacefully – until Lilly woke us up two hours later.


	36. Chapter 35

**DISCLAIMER:** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.

* * *

_**Previously on Learning to Live Again…**_

"_I was going to ask you, Jake, if you mind staying with Bella while I drove back home for a bit tomorrow. I need to get the car seat and a few other things before we take Lilly home."_

"_Sure, sure. Is around noon fine?"_

"_That sounds perfect. Thanks, Jake."_

"_I don't need a babysitter," I pouted. Katie snorted, but remained quiet._

"_No, but I would feel better knowing someone is here looking after the two of you."_

"_Whatever," I said, rolling my eyes._

"_Better get used to it, Bells. Now that he's imprinted, you're never getting rid of him," Jake grinned._

"_I'm okay with that."_

_Jake and Katie left, and the nurse brought Lilliana back in. I fed her before she fell back asleep. Quil climbed into the small bed with me, where we both slept peacefully – until Lilly woke us up two hours later._

* * *

The morning came too early. I could already foresee that Lilly didn't plan on being one of those 'sleep through the night from the start' babies. My doctor came in around ten o'clock to check on us.

"Good morning. How are you feeling this morning, Ms. Swan?"

"Tired, but good."

"Good, good. Do you still want to run a paternity test?"

"Yes," I said, looking at Quil. He smiled back down at me.

"Okay, you can let the nurse know when the other…candidate arrives and–"

"Oh, no that won't be needed," I cut him off. "Just Quil is being tested."

"Don't you want to know for certainty who is the father?"

"Yes, we do. But if results come back negative for Quil, then we'll know for 100 percent confidence the only other candidate is the father. We don't need another test."

He looked unsure, but agreed. "All right then. I can have a nurse come in and draw blood."

"Thank you."

He left, and a few minutes later, a nurse came in. She extracted a sample from Lilliana's leg and another from Quil's arm.

"We won't get the result until at least tomorrow. It will just depend on how backed up the lab is and how many priority tests come in while your sample is in queue. I have to tell you it could take up to five days. But in a hospital this size, I can tell you you'll probably get them tomorrow."

"That sounds good, thanks," Quil said. She smiled and left the room. Lilly started to fuss, so I began to feed her.

"You know, Bella, no matter what I'm here. Even without the imprint, I wouldn't leave either of you."

"I know, Quil. I just feel like I've been holding my breath since I returned to Washington and my air supply is about to run out. And it feels like the wrong answer could keep me from ever breathing again."

"Bella, the results won't change anything. You have nothing to worry about or fear."

"I know that in theory. I guess I'm just freaking out over nothing."

"What part freaks you out?"

"I love you so much."

"Bella–"

"No, let me get this out. I love you. I want you to be Lilliana's father in every sense of the word. And I know you'll be her father no matter what the test says. And I know that Jacob will play Uncle Jake. But if the results say Jake is her biological father, how do I face him every day knowing that he's playing uncle to his own daughter?"

Quil looked down at Lilliana and remained silent. After a minute, he spoke softly, "I hadn't really thought of that."

"I feel like we'll be living a lie, Quil."

"Bella, if Jacob doesn't want to know, what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know," I sighed.

"Let's not worry about this until after the results come back. Hopefully we're worrying about nothing."

I nodded.

* * *

A little while later, I woke up without realizing that I'd ever fallen asleep.

"Hey, baby. Feel a little more rested?" Quil asked, sitting in the rocking chair by the window with Lilliana in his arms.

"Yeah, a bit. How long was I out?"

"Just an hour or so. Lilly and I have just been chilling. Isn't' that right, princess?" Lilliana made no effort to respond.

"Is she hungry?"

"I fed her some formula about half an hour ago." After reading dozens of articles and books, we'd decided to feed her breast milk for the majority, but supplement it with formula.

"Oh, all right."

"Do you feel hungry?"

"A little."

"The nurse said they'd bring your lunch down around noon, but I can go down to the cafeteria and grab you something now. My stomach has been grumbling at me for a little while now."

"Well, if you're already going…" I hedged.

Quil smiled brightly, knowing what I was doing. "Yes, I am. What would you like?"

"Some fruit salad if they have it or a sandwich if not."

"Okay, I can handle that I think. What to drink?"

"The water here will do. Oh, and maybe some of those delicious sugar cookies like last time, please."

His eyes widened a bit and his smile faltered before he plastered on a large, fake smile. "Sugar cookies, check."

Quil handed a now sleeping Lilly to me, and he left the room.

A minute later a knock on the door caught my attention.

"Come in."

"Good morning, Mommy," a familiar voice said. I looked up to see Renée in the doorway with Phil behind her.

"Hey, Mom, Phil. I wasn't expecting you so soon."

"I had to see my granddaughter."

"Well, come see her then," I said, smiling. My mom and Phil made their way to my bedside.

"Oh, would you look at her. She's beautiful, Bella."

"She is, isn't she? Want to hold her?"

"Of course I want to hold my grandbaby. God, that sounds too weird. I'm a grandmother."

"Yeah, it's still weird to think I'm a mom."

"You'll fall into the role quickly, if you haven't already."

"How did you guys get here so early?"

"Your mother found a flight that left at four o'clock in the morning," Phil grumbled a bit, staring at Renée. "That and the time change helped out."

"I'm glad you're here."

"Us too," Renée said, cooing at Lilly.

"What did you name her, Bella?" Phil asked.

"Be warned, it's a mouthful," I said with a small giggle. "Quil and I decided on Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara."

"Nayeli? What does that mean?" Renée asked, looking up at me from Lilly.

"I love you." A smile crossed her face as she gazed back down at my daughter.

"Well, isn't that too perfect for this precious one. It's a beautiful name, the whole thing."

"Yeah, Quil really wanted to have that name – to know she's always loved."

"Are you still having the paternity test done?"

"Yeah, they took the samples this morning."

"Is Quil concerned about it?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm the worried one. He'll be there no matter what the paper says. He just wants to know for any future health concerns we may face. If something genetic comes up, we wouldn't want to waste time on a DNA test."

"And you, you're worried for what reason?"

"If she turns out to be Jake's, then I'll feel like I'm living a lie. I don't how to face Jacob, knowing that he is her father, but all he'll ever be is her pseudo uncle."

"That was Jacob's decision, Bella. You can't carry that guilt or whatever you want to classify your feelings under because of what he wants. Maybe you could just have the results, but seal them for only an emergency."

"What, like don't look at the results, but have the hospital keep them on record if she ever needed it?"

"That and if you decide to give her the choice of knowing when she's older. She could look for herself."

"That would solve the medical worry, but I don't think I could just sit on something so important."

"Okay, then don't go that route. I was just throwing out another idea."

"I appreciate it, Mom. I'm not sure what the exact thing to do here is, but I feel confident with Quil by my side that things will work themselves out."

"Good, I'm glad you have him, Bella. I haven't gotten to meet the boy yet, but from our conversations, he seems like a good guy."

"He is, Mom. Quil is amazing."

"Of course I am. I have sugar cookies," Quil spoke from the doorway.

"Yeah, you didn't threaten the cook, did you?"

"Nope, he already had them made. He must have heard you were here," he said, winking at me. He handed me a bag with food in it. Then he turned to Phil and Renée. "Hi, I'm Quil. You must be Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer," he said, reaching out to shake their hands.

"Oh, it's nice to finally meet you. But, please, call us Renée and Phil."

"All right, Renée and Phil. Nice to meet you as well."

After Renée and Phil visited for a little while, they left to check into their hotel to get settled in. They planned to stay for a couple of days before returning to Jacksonville. The time spent with them and Quil seemed to go well. On the way out, Renée gave me a hug and whispered to me, not knowing he'd be able to hear her.

"I highly approve, Bella. He's perfect."

"Yeah, he is," I said, making eye contact with him. He gave me a sly grin and a wink, confirming he'd heard.

At noon sharp, Jacob walked through the door.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey, Jake. Thanks again for coming."

"Glad I could help, Quil."

"Okay, so it will take like an hour for me to get back. Bella's had a snack, but lunch for her should be arriving soon."

"Quil, I'm not a little kid."

"I know, Bella, I'm just giving Jake an update on what he's coming into. Also, Bella should feed Lilly in about thirty minutes – breast feeding this time. And–"

"I'm sure Bells has it under control. We'll be fine, Quil. Go do what you need to do, man."

"Right, okay," my wolf said sheepishly, walking to me. "I love you, baby," he said, dropping a kiss on my lips. "And I love you too, princess," he cooed, leaving a small kiss on Lilly's forehead while she slept in my arms.

"I'll take good care of them, Quil. Nothing's getting by me," Jake said, laughing at Quil.

"Fine, laugh at me all you want. I just better find the two of them in the same condition I'm leaving them."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Aye, aye, captain."

"I really hate you sometimes, Jake." Quil turned back to me. "Good-bye, my girls. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you both."

"We love you too, Quil. Now go."

"Fine," he huffed. "I'm going."

"Bye." He finally left the room.

"Wow," Jacob breathed out. "He's turned into a hovering fool overnight, I see."

"Yeah, he did. I'm not sure if it's the imprint or just Lilly being here."

"Perhaps a bit of both has caused his wolf to go into protective overdrive."

"Hmm, you're probably right."

"So, how are you feeling?"

"About what?"

"Everything. It's been a bit of an overload of things lately."

"Well, I couldn't be happier about Lilliana being here. She's healthy and beautiful; I couldn't ask for more. Then, there's the imprint."

"Yeah…the imprint."

"I wish we had an explanation. I'm so relieved that I don't have to worry about losing him, but…"

"You're a person that works partly on logic, and so you need rationalization to feel as ease."

I nodded, but didn't answer.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jake?"

"If Sam's theory is right and if I hadn't imprinted on Katie and if we'd gotten pregnant ourselves and I imprinted on you, would you have been happy? Do you think we could have been happy?"

"Jake, that's a lot of 'ifs'. Plus, we can't live in the 'what ifs'. We'd go crazy."

"I know you're right. I just can't help but wonder."

"I think we would have been – happy that is. I loved you, Jacob Black. But it wasn't meant to be for us. Now we're both happy with other people."

"Knock, knock," a voice from the door said. I looked over to see a nurse holding a food tray. "I've got lunch for Miss Swan."

"Thank you," I told her.

"Not a problem, enjoy."

She left and the heavy conversation went with her. The rest of the time with Jacob passed by with light chatting. I fed Lilly with an amused smile, while an uncomfortable Jacob stared out the window with extreme concentration.

Quil returned, checking Lilly and I over for any changes. Jacob stayed a few minutes longer to chat with Quil, and then he left.

* * *

Two hours later, a knock on the door sounded. Emily and Sam entered a moment later.

"Hey, guys," I greeted them.

"Morning," Sam said, Emily smiled.

"Sam, Emily," Quil said.

"Where's the little one?" Emily asked.

"She's getting her last minute checks. We get discharged in an hour or so," I answered.

"Well, you both look so content. Did the results come yet?" Emily asked.

"No, not yet," Quil said.

"Well, I have a pretty good idea what they'll say," Sam said mysteriously.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"I found something, in the readings. It was so minor, I'd never really paid attention to it before – as I'm sure no one else has. With all the larger events surrounding it, it was easy to skip over."

"What are you talking about, Sam?"

"In the readings that are fore brothers kept, I found a small notation that I think you'll find of great importance."

"Cut the crap, Sam. Just tell us what it said," Quil said, impatient.

"You know the story of the first Cold One and then the subsequent story of the Third Wife."

"Yes, of course," Quil said, and I nodded.

"After finding two women dead, the Makahs called upon the wolves – one being Yaha Uta, Taha Aki and his third wife's eldest son. While in Makah, the woman he'd taken as his wife – not his imprint – gave birth to their first child. After destroying the Cold One, he returned. In the wake of the events – the death of his younger brother and the mystery still surrounding the Cold One – a certain occurrence went with little notice. Upon returning and meeting his son, he suddenly felt a new level of love and devotion to his wife."

"He imprinted? What did they say about that? Did they find out why it happened?" Quil asked, anxious.

Sam shook his head. "The note in the reading was small, only stating the new feelings with no explanation for them. I'm sure more would have been invested in finding the meaning of the unexplained feelings, but the mate of the Cold One showed up and Yaha Uta was killed."

"You think the same thing happened with us?" I asked.

"I do. It appears when a match our ancestors did not plan themselves turns out to be conducive to good mating, they allow the imprint to occur despite other plans they may or may not have had."

"I'm sorry I don't have more information or a real explanation. I can only tell you it seems to have happened before. And as I know some of the blood running through our bodies comes from Yaha Uta's blood line, through his only son, I think we can rest assured that the imprint is backed well."

"That sounds like good news. Thank you for sharing that with us, Sam," I said, grateful.

"Not a problem, Bella. I'm glad everything seems to have worked out so well."

"Me too."

"And if Lilly's not mine, what would explain the imprint?"

"That I don't know, Quil. I honestly don't have the slightest clue."

"You don't think they would ever recant an imprint, do you?"

"No, Quil, I don't. I'd rather think our ancestors not so cruel. I fear revoking an imprint, after already having those ties established, would nearly kill a wolf."

Quil nodded solemnly. "Thanks, Sam. I really appreciate you doing that research for us."

"Wish I had more."

"No, Sam, really – it's a lot more than we'd have without you," I assured him.

"Well, we need to go. We're heading to Makah to spend the night and tomorrow with my family," Emily said.

"Of course, we don't want to keep you. Have a nice time."

"Thanks, Bella. We'll see you soon, I'm sure."

"Bye, guys," Sam said.

"Bye," Quil and I said together.

Sam and Emily left the room, leaving it silent. Quil and I sat lost in our thoughts. I hoped the legends applied here. Though, we didn't even know for sure of the reasoning behind Yaha Uta's sudden feelings or if they were even that of an imprint.

A knock at the door broke our quiet solitude.

"Come in," I said after a second. The door opened and my doctor shuffled through, his head reading something on the clipboard in his hands all the while. Reaching the bedside, he lifted his head with a small smile.

"Good afternoon, Miss Swan, Mr. Ateara."

"Good afternoon, Dr. Jackson," I greeted.

"I thought you'd want the results as soon as the lab finished."

"Yes," I breathed out. I looked at Quil, but his eyes were focused on Dr. Jackson, as if he could read the answer in the doctor's eyes.

"Well, I believe it's good news." I waited for a second, assuming he'd read the results with more than that opener.

"And that would be…" Quil drifted off.

"Oh sorry, right," he said. The doctor looked back down at the paper and read, "With 99.9 percent certainty, I call tell you Mr. Quil Ateara is Lilliana Raegan Nayeli Ateara's biological father."

I felt all the air in my lungs swoosh out with pure relief and joy. I looked at the doctor, waiting for something else. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for, but what he said seemed too good to be true without something following it.

I looked up at Quil to find his gaze centered on mine already. He wore a small smile and I could see his eyes welling up, the same as mine.

"She's mine," he said, the smile growing.

"She's completely yours."

"I love you so much, Bella, with everything I am. Without you, I don't even want to know what kind of guy I'd be right now. Not the man I am, I know. I owe my life to you, baby. And I promise to always take care of both of you exactly the way you deserve." I noticed the doctor slide out the room quietly.

"I love you too, Quil. I just – I just can't believe it's all working out."

"We deserve it, Bella. You deserve this and so much more. Nothing can get in our way anymore, don't you see? It's you, Lilly and me forever."

"I know. I can't wait for it to start."

"We don't have to wait," he said, lowering to the ground. "And we shouldn't. I think our daughter needs her mother to share the same last name. And as I've been wanting that for quite some time myself. Isabella Marie Swan, I'll love you until the end of time and even there after, so will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"


	37. Chapter 36

**Author's Note:** So this chapter came out a little sadder and distressing than I intended, especially since it's the last full chapter. It just came out this way. Also, forewarning, I am no doctor, so if something sounds off, I apologize in advance.

**DISCLAIMER:**** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.**

* * *

_Previously on Learning to Live Again…_

"_She's mine," he said, the smile growing._

"_She's completely yours."_

"_I love you so much, Bella, with everything I am. Without you, I don't even want to know what kind of guy I'd be right now. Not the man I am, I know. I owe my life to you, baby. And I promise to always take care of both of you exactly the way you deserve." I noticed the doctor slide out the room quietly. _

"_I love you too, Quil. I just – I just can't believe it's all working out."_

"_We deserve it, Bella. You deserve this and so much more. Nothing can get in our way anymore, don't you see? It's you, Lilly and me forever."_

"_I know. I can't wait for it to start."_

"_We don't have to wait," he said, lowering to the ground. "And we shouldn't. I think our daughter needs her mother to share the same last name. And as I've been wanting that for quite some time myself. Isabella Marie Swan, I'll love you until the end of time and even there after, so will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?"_

* * *

A couple months after Quil graduated, when Lilliana was four months old, Quil and I got married. It was a very small affair. Just our family and the pack present. Nothing extravagant, just a few chairs set up behind Celia's house facing the woods – the same woods that Quil found me in on that fateful night. Though, Charlie and Celia didn't hold that knowledge. Thank God.

We didn't really want to go on a honeymoon and leave Lilly so young. So Quil promised we'd go on a trip for our first anniversary. As a result, we spent our wedding night up with a fussy baby.

The first year certainly had its trials. A couple times stick out more than others. The good times definitely outnumbered the bad. But I never knew scared until after I'd become a mother. It's like something inside you changes. Everything you thought mattered no longer did. The only that mattered was that little girl.

The first couple of months after Lilly's birth, before graduation and before the wedding, Quil worked too hard in my opinion. He continued to work both at the store and the construction business on top of patrolling with the pack. All that with daddy duty left him with very little time for sleep or much of anything really. Finally after he fell asleep on stage during his high school graduation, I put my foot down. One of the jobs had to go, and the hours patrolling needed to be cut back. He quit working at the store, as the construction paid more. With the summer, he got to lighten his hours since the younger boys could patrol more being on summer vacation.

Like we agreed before the birth, we kept Lilliana's paternity to ourselves. However, what we didn't foresee was something on the horizon that would give her paternity away to others without any say from us.

One day during the summer, Jacob came over to spend time with Lilly while Quil worked. I feed her and laid her down for a nap a little while after he'd arrived. Jacob and spent the next two hours talking and joking. When Lilly woke up, she seemed especially fussy. I went to fix her a bottle while Jacob rocked her in the rocker. Walking back into the living room, I saw the concern on Jacob's face.

"Bella, do you think her lips look a little swollen?"

I looked down at her. "Yeah, they do," I said, frowning.

"I also think she might need a diaper change. I thought I'd let you do the honors though."

Rolling my eyes, I took Lilly in my arms. "Gee, thanks, Jake."

I unbuttoned her onesie and gasped.

"What? Is something wrong?" Jacob asked.

"She has a bad rash. It wasn't there before." I took in my daughter's swollen lips and the rash on her body.

"Aren't rashes normal?"

"Sure, the occasional diaper rash, but not a rash like this one."

"I'll try giving Quil a call and tell him to meet us at the hospital. I'm sure it's nothing, but let's be better off than sorry."

A few minutes later, the two of us loaded up into my car to take her into the Emergency Room. When we arrived, the nurse quickly got us into a room. Within a minutes, Lilly's pediatrician came in.

"Mrs. Ateara, what seems to be wrong with Lilliana today?"

"Dr. Vearil, her lips seem swollen and there's a rash on her body. Neither was there when I laid her down for her nap a few hours ago."

"I'll have to run a test, but it looks like she might be having an allergic reaction."

"What? But she hasn't had anything out of the ordinary."

"Let's do the test and work from there."

The doctor did whatever it was he needed. I stayed in Jacob's arms, trying not to cry. Soon enough, Lilly was back in my arms and Dr. Vearil gone to find out what was wrong with my daughter.

"Jake, where's Quil? Didn't you call?"

"Yeah, Bells, but he didn't answer. I left a message. I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he listens to it."

An hour later and no Quil, Dr. Vearil came back in.

"It appears it is an allergy, though, I'm not sure exactly to what. You said her diet hasn't changed, but has yours?"

"Mine?" I asked confused.

"Yes, through the breast milk she could have digested something she has an allergy to. So have you eaten anything in the last twenty-four hours that you don't normally?"

I had to take a second to breathe and think about what I'd eaten lately.

"I had pizza for lunch yesterday and then a peanut butter sandwich for dinner. For breakfast I ate pancakes."

"Peanut butter, was that the first you've had it since the pregnancy?"

"Um…yeah, I guess it was."

"Well, it seems likely that that is our allergy. Peanuts are a common allergy in children and that hypersensitivity is often passed down through heredity. Were you allergic as a child?"

I didn't answer for a second. I hurt to think my own diet had put my daughter in the hospital. "No, I've never had an allergy of any sort."

"Is your husband allergic?" Dr. Vearil asked. He, unlike my doctor, knew nothing of our paternity issues. So asking such a simple question in front of Jacob held no consequences in his mind. Of course the questioned didn't really mean anything to me either at that exact point in time.

"No, he eats anything. He ate a sandwich with me last night."

Dr. Vearil's eyebrows knitted together. As he wrote his notes on his clipboard, the room sat in silence. That was until Jacob broke it with a slow, deep sigh.

"He had an allergy as a kid, though," Jacob said quietly, looking down at Lilliana with sad eyes. That's when I realized how dangerous a question it had been.

"Well then, I think we can say the mystery is solved. As long as you're breast feeding, you can't eat peanuts, and I would suggest staying away from any kind of nuts completely. The nurse will be in with the appropriate medication for Lilliana." I nodded, and he left shortly afterward.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Jacob spoke. "So Quil's her father." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Yes," I said quietly.

Jacob nodded his head slowly. "Good. That's good. Quil should be her father. This is the result we all knew would be best for Lilly."

"Jake," I started.

"No, it's fine, Bella. I'd hate for her to be mine when I couldn't be there, not like I should. This way her dad, her real dad, is there for her completely. I guess Sam's theory was right. He'll be happy to hear how amazingly smart he is once again," Jake tried to joke, but I could see the hurt.

The nurse came in and administered the antihistamines. Jacob and I sat in silence while the drugs did their job. The quiet ended when the door to her room banged open. In tumbled my husband.

"Is Lilly okay?" Quil asked, panting and shirtless.

"Quil, what happened to you?" I asked.

"I got Jake's message. Then the truck wouldn't start, so I ran. Well, I phased then ran. When I got here, I had to escape security because apparently there's a shirt and shoes policy, both of which I fail to meet. So I'll ask again, how's Lilly?"

"Apparently she inherited your allergy to peanuts," I said. "But with the antihistamines, she should be fine."

"What?" he cautiously asked, glancing at Jacob.

Jake cleared his throat. "I know, Quil. After all, who do you think told the doctor you had an allergy only as a kid?"

"Oh. Jake, man–"

"I've already had this conversation with Bella. I'm fine. Everything worked out as it should have."

* * *

It didn't take long for the whole pack to hear the news. I think everyone gave a huge sigh of relief. But it didn't take long for things to get back to normal. Quil and I had eliminated any and all signs of peanuts from our apartment. Quil was sad to see the Reese cups leave, but we wouldn't take a chance with Lilliana around.

Soon, Quil went pack to his taxing schedule of work at the construction company and patrolling with the pack. I wished he would lighten up on his patrol hours. But with Sam stepping down after the announcement of Emily's pregnancy and the three youngest having to go back to school in the fall, Quil picked up the hours he had shed during the summer months.

Then during the winter, Lilliana got really sick. It started off like any normal cold – the runny nose and low fever. But then it got progressively worse. The coughing increased in frequency and vigor. When Quil and I took her into the doctors, we found out it had progressed passed the common cold. The doctors diagnosed her with respiratory syncytial virus or RSV. After a night in the hospital, the doctors said the virus had spread to the lungs making it viral pneumonia. I didn't understand how it could advance so fast, especially with her in the hospital. However, she didn't seem to respond to the drugs that gave her, the virus only getting worse. Seeing my daughter like that was hard, but watching Quil almost hurt more.

I walked into the room, having left to get two cups of coffee. Hearing Quil's voice, I stopped at the doorway.

"Princess, Daddy's sorry. I know I haven't been around as much as I should. I just want to protect you and Mommy," he said, his voice cracking. "I thought the threat to you lay in the forest. Starting today, I promise to be home more. But I need you there too, so you have to get better so we can go home as a family." I heard Quil sniffing, obviously crying.

"I love you so much. You and your mom alone make my world. Baby, Daddy needs you to get well. I swear I'll be a better daddy."

That last comment hit hard. He had it all wrong. I pushed the door open all the way and walked in. Quil looked up at me, not bothering to hide his tears. I'd never actually seen him cry. Sure, I'd seen him tear up a bit, but never had I seen the tears fall.

"Quil," I said softly.

"Bella, I'm sorry. This is my fault."

"How could this be your fault? Our daughter got sick. You couldn't have caused that. Babies get sick all the time."

"But I wasn't there. I should have caught."

"You're not a doctor, Quil."

"I should have–"

"No, Quil! Lilly getting sick wasn't in your control. It's no one's fault."

"I still haven't been home like I should have. I work all day and patrol at night. I spend a couple of hours with her in the evenings. I suck as a dad."

"What is wrong with you? I can't have you pooping out on me right now, Quil. I need you to be strong for Lilly. How can you doubt yourself? You're a great dad, Quil. Lilliana is lucky to have you. I'm lucky to have you. Yeah, the patrolling takes you away, but you're doing it to protect us. It's not like you're off goofing around."

"But I–"

"Quil," I said, taking his face in my hands. "I love you. Lilly loves you. You are a great father. You provide for us, protect us and love us. What more do we need?"

"I will cut back my hours patrolling. It's not like any of the other guys have a baby at home."

"Well, at least for a little while. Emily is about to pop."

"Yeah, and Sam gave up phasing before his son even got here. Me, I patrol more now that our daughter is here. I'm so screwed up. Do you ever wish Jacob was her father?"

My jaw literally dropped. "Quil Ateara, how could you ever say such a thing?"

"He's who you wanted."

"Exactly." Quil's head popped up and he looked at me in horror. "Wanted, as in past tense," I said, seeing my husband sigh in relief. "I only want you now, Quil. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner. It's just that Jacob fixed me; he brought me back from my zombie days. I couldn't help but love him for all that he'd for me. But you, you I love for no rhyme or reason other than you complete me, the real me. I wasn't living before; I was surviving. Now I don't just get by, now I'm living again – for the first time in a long time. I'd forgotten what it was to live, but you taught me. With you by my side, I'm learning to live again each and every day."

"I'm learning with you too. I think everyone knows I didn't really live properly with all the girls before. I was just filling a gap. A gap you and Lilly fill completely. I'm finally almost someone I can be proud of, someone I know my dad would be proud of."

"Not almost, Quil, you are."

"No, not yet. But I will be once I spend more time at home with you and Lilly."

Lilliana's health took a turn for the better the next day. And then few days later, the three of us went home together.


	38. Epilogue

**Author's Note:** Not long, but I really just hated leaving y'all hanging any longer. School and work have become overbearing, so be happy for any kind of update.

**DISCLAIMER:**** Stephenie Meyer, along with Little, Brown and Company, owns all the rights to the Twilight Saga. I own nothing and profit nothing from this story.**

* * *

Looking back on my life, I wouldn't change a thing. I had my heart broke – more than once. I found my soul mate on my own – with fate confirming it. And more importantly, I learned who I was and who I wanted to be – in both good and bad times.

The years went by, and I felt blessed more and more with each passing one. Quil and I eventually went on that honeymoon. He surprised me with a trip to the Florida Keys. We made a pit stop by Jacksonville to leave Lilliana with her very excited Nana Renée. I felt relieved to know she would be so close. Four hundred miles away from my baby allowed me more peace of mind than three and half thousand miles would have. Neither Quil nor I had been away from her more than twenty-four hours before, so even the four hundreds miles for a week felt like a lifetime.

Four years after our wedding, we became parents again. This time to a little boy named Quil Ashkii Ateara IV. My little boy was, to both my horror and amusement, just like his father. To limit the confusion, we called him by a nickname derived from his middle name, Ash. Celia got more than one laugh at my Quil's aggravation over Ash's antics as a child and even more as a teenager. Every time she claimed with a wide smile that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. That comment always resulted in an eye roll from Quil.

The music starting brought me out of my thoughts. I stood with the rest of the crowd, watching my husband of twenty-two years walk our daughter down the aisle. She looked beautiful as she lit up looking at her very soon-to-be husband, John.

She met John her first day on campus at the University of Washington. Though, after the very bad pick-up line he used claiming he had found his real life Pocahontas, it would take him three months to convince her to give him a chance and go out on a date.

The ceremony ended with me in tears – not that I expected anything else from myself. I cried at my own wedding, so of course I'd bawl at my only daughter's. As the wedding day had approached, I found myself sad and nostalgic, while my husband became more and more disgruntled. Quil had deluded himself into believing his little girl would marry while still pure as the white dress she wore. A wedding meant he could no longer fool himself into his virginal delusions of his daughter once she became a wife.

I felt arms wrap around me and leaned back into the welcoming embrace. We stood and watched our daughter dance with her husband.

Quil sighed behind me. "Guess she's not my little girl anymore."

"She'll always be your little girl, Quil. But you have to remember she's a woman, a married one at that now. She still has us, but she won't need us like she used to. That's John's job now."

"Eh, I'm still not convinced he's right for her."

I rolled my eyes. "You're her dad; no one will be good enough."

"Damn right they're not."

"I don't think Charlie was completely thrilled with my choice of you either."

"I think you being pregnant at the time could have had something to do with that. Well, that and my previous man-whoring days might have reached his ears."

"And you've worked out just fine. So see, nothing to worry about."

"Bella, I don't think you see my point. Who is John really? Do we really know him that well?"

"Quil, we've known the boy for three years. We know his parents well. He makes Lilly happy. Even Ash approves, and you know he never approved of the yahoos she dated in high school. He scared the boys off before you even had a chance back then. And today he stood up there as John's best man."

"Well, no matter, I'll be keeping my eyes on that boy. One slip up and I'll be there to put him in his place."

"Okay, dear, you do that."

"Don't patronize me, Bella," he whined.

"I wouldn't think of it," I said, smirking.

"His hand seems awfully low on her back," he growled.

"Seriously, Quil, they're married. He can put that hand as low as he wants."

"Over my dead body," he muttered. I turned around in his arms.

"If you're a good boy and don't attack your new son-in-law, I might reward you later tonight. We can pick up some strawberries and whip cream," I said, waggling my eyebrows.

"Ew, Mom, stop." I jumped to see my son standing behind his father; he wore a horror-struck look on his face. "Great, now I'm going to have that image burned into my brain for the rest of my life. Never mind that I'll never be able to eat a strawberry again."

"Good, more for us. Your mom is a big fan of strawberries. And you might want to find somewhere else to stay tonight, son. You're mother can be quite loud."

"Quil," I admonished him.

"Dad," Ash whined, covering his ears.

"What? I want my reward, Bella," my man-boy of a husband griped. "And I know I won't get it with the boy there. So get lost, Ash."

"Seriously, Dad. That's incredibly wrong and gross. And I already planned to stay at Junior's. We have band practice in the morning."

"Okay, honey. You boys don't give Sam and Emily too much trouble," I told Ash.

"We won't, Mom. See you guys later," he said, avoiding my eyes. After he walked away, I slapped Quil up side the head.

"Ouch, babe. What was that for?"

"Don't say things like that in front of our son. He wouldn't even look me in the eye."

"Fine, fine. I apologize, but I just needed to make sure I got to have my way with you tonight."

"You have to be good first."

"Oh, when I have the motivation," he smirked, "I find that I can be on my very best behavior."

I shook my head. "Twenty plus years and you still act like you did at seventeen."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that's the me you fell in love with."

Before I could reply, the DJ's voice filled the hall. "This next song came as an anonymous request."

_I set out on a narrow way many years ago  
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road_

I looked up at my smiling husband.

"May I have this dance, m'lady," he said, bowing down and offering his hand.

Taking his hand, I answered, "I suppose so."

_But I got lost a time or two  
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through  
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you_

Resting my head on Quil's chest, I relished in the warmth of his arms. A little over fifteen years since all the guys quite phasing and still they kept a few of the wolf qualities – like the warmth, strength and superior eyesight.

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you  
_

"You Mr. Anonymous?"

"Who else would pick our song? Everyone else thinks it too sappy and/or corny."

"Maybe it is," I murmured, "but I feel like I could have written it myself."

_I think about the years I spent just passing through  
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you  
But you just smile and take my hand  
You've been there you understand  
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true  
_

"We did waste time. Especially the time I spent in Florida."

"I don't agree. We needed that time; I needed that time. I wasn't who you needed me to be yet. I needed to grow up first."

"And I needed that time to get over Jake."

"Exactly. We weren't ready for each other before that time."

_Every long lost dream led me to where you are  
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars  
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you  
_

"What do you think would have happened if I hadn't gotten pregnant? I probably never would have come back."

"Well, thankfully you did or we would be dancing at Lilly's wedding right now. But if you hadn't, then I'd like to think I would have worked up the balls to find you."

_Now I'm just rolling home  
Into my lover's arms  
This much I know is true  
That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you  
_

I looked up at Quil. "You really think so?"

"Baby, my whole life was leading me to you. I wasn't about to give up just yet, not after I'd gotten a glimpse of what life with you could be like."

_That God blessed the broken road  
That led me straight to you._

"I love you, Quil."

"I love you too, Bella. Always."

_The End._


End file.
